


Sugar, We're Going Down

by toxzen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Deepthroating, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV First Person, Slow Build, Sugar Daddy, artist!Eren, ereri, sugar baby!eren, sugaring, thug!levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:39:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 82,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6989368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxzen/pseuds/toxzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi loses a bet, which means Hange makes him a sugar daddy profile and he has to pick up one sugar baby and bring him to at least a few events before Hange will be satisfied.<br/>Eren is a down-on-his-luck college student who turned to sugaring to pay the bills. After one too many meet-ups turn sour, he decides to seek out a platonic arrangement; after all, he still has to pay for school and housing. </p><p>aka my excuse to write an ereri sugaring fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i want the title to have something to do with sugar of course. not sure if i like what i have now, but we'll see. really this is yet another self-indulgent fic. also i haven't written first person in SO long so we'll see how that goes.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: referenced sexual assault

**Eren’s POV**

 

“Do I need to beat someone up?”

I rolled my eyes. I had heard these words uttered from Annie’s mouth numerous times when I came back from a meet-up worse off than when I had left for it. I let out a heavy sigh and flopped back on my bed.

“It’s fine, Annie,” I said in a gravely voice as I glowered at the ceiling. 

My flatmate frowned as she leaned against the doorway and regarded me with cold blue eyes. For someone who looked all too willing to knock a person’s lights out just for side-eying her, Annie was surprisingly caring. Luckily enough though, her concern wasn’t suffocating, like some people's in my life.

“What happened?” Annie asked. 

“Things just got a little out of hand.” I sat up and rubbed my neck. I knew that my skin was beginning to show signs of bruising, which was what had spurred Annie’s initial comment. 

“A little?” Annie said dryly. She cocked an eyebrow, a skill she had long since perfected and one I was incredibly envious of. 

“Okay, it was a shit show,” I admitted. I gave a wolfish grin. “At least I got paid.” I pulled the wad of cash out of my pocket and waved it at Annie. 

“Day’s gonna come when you need to use that money to pay for medical bills,” Annie said derisively.

“Ugh, are you going to lecture me about this too?” I said. I rolled my eyes and tossed the money into the top drawer of my bedside table. “I get enough of that from Mikasa.”

“She’s not wrong, you know,” Annie said. “You’ve been putting yourself into stupider and stupider situations. You should ease up on the sugaring for a bit.”

“Probably,” I admitted as I rubbed the back of my neck. I was only agreeing because this was Annie, not Mikasa. If you gave Mikasa an inch, she’d drag the entire world out from under your feet.

“You want some ice for that or something?” Annie asked.

“Nah, I’m good,” I said. “Thanks, Annie.”

Annie shrugged and left the room. She always acted like showing concern was no big deal, but I knew her well enough to know that she didn’t dole such things out with much regularity.

I sighed and ran hesitant fingers over my neck. My throat was beginning to ache. Even the light brush of my fingertips was enough to shoot pain through my neck. I shivered and got out of bed. I quickly shucked off my clothes and wrapped a towel around my waist. I needed to wash the sweat, among other bodily fluids, off my body. I hadn’t showered at the hotel. I had been too freaked out by what had happened to want to stay in the room much longer. 

When I was under the hot stream of water, I let myself rehash what had happened that afternoon. This was the third meeting I’d had with Dave. Fucking Dave. We usually just had dinner and then I’d blow him in his car. No big, right? Well, today we had gone back to the hotel. I hadn’t expected such an innocuous man to be so bloody kinky, but the second we got into that room, he’d gone all dom on my ass, and he was a shitty dom at that. We didn’t even go over safe words or anything. If he hadn’t been offering me six hundred for the afternoon, I probably would have pushed my luck to see if I could wheedle some safety precautions out of him, but he’d been pretty set on jumping right into things. On top of that, he seemed like a total sweetheart on the streets, but the second we got in that hotel room, he seemed ready to beat me black and blue just for breathing without his permission. I should have run for it the second I realized this, but the money had been too much to pass up. I didn’t sugar for fun and games; I needed the cash to keep me off the streets, and in school for that matter.

With a sigh, I shut off the water and climbed gingerly out of the shower. I went to the mirror and wiped my forearm over the steamed up glass. I always took showers hot enough to make a normal person cry. I stared at my reflection and winced as my eyes fell on the discoloration that encircled my neck like a necklace. Dave had really done a number on me. If he was going to leave marks, he could have done me the courtesy of putting them somewhere that was easy to cover up. Luckily, it was autumn, which meant I wouldn’t look like a fool wearing a scarf. Mikasa was the only person I knew who could get away with wearing a scarf in the summer.

I left the bathroom and padded back to my bedroom. Bert and Reiner, my two other flatmates, were out somewhere, which meant I didn’t feel awkward meandering around in just a towel. Bert was the quiet type, so I honestly didn’t know what his thoughts were on my sugaring, but Reiner was even more gung-ho than Annie about pummeling all of the guys I had arrangements with, regardless of whether they hurt me. If he saw my neck, he'd probably hunt Dave down, and the last thing I needed right now was my friend getting slapped with a restraining order for going after my sugar daddy.

While I was getting dressed, my phone buzzed. I groaned and went over to it. Both Mikasa and Armin had class this afternoon; they were taking some psych seminar together, which was odd since usually they didn’t have interests that lined up. Since this was the case, I was probably getting a text from a sugar daddy.

Sure enough, Dave was texting me. Fucking Dave.

_Had a great time this afternoon baby. Let me know when you want to meet again._

I scoffed quietly and chucked the phone onto my bed. _Fat chance, Dave,_ I thought as I pulled on a t-shirt and sleeping shorts. I had a whole collection of pajama booty shorts from the "girls'" section of various stores. They were super cute and bloody comfortable. 

I’d have to figure out a way to cut things off with Dave. I had had good luck with ending arrangements before, but after seeing Dave’s true colors in the bedroom today, I realized it would probably be tough to brush him off. 

I would figure that out later, I decided, as I went to the kitchen to get a Coke. I tended not to be prompt with replying to my sugar daddies. That way, if I needed time to formulate a response, it wouldn’t seem out of character that I wasn’t replying immediately. 

When I returned to my bedroom, I fished a sweatshirt out of the bin under my bed and pulled it on. I typically ran at a fairly high body temperature, so I would get a bit toasty in the sweatshirt, but I didn’t need anyone else seeing the bruising on my neck. Reiner had a habit of barging into my and Annie's rooms without warning, so it was better to be prepared than caught off guard. Annie wasn’t the type to gab about other people’s business, which meant this wouldn’t get back to Mikasa.

I grabbed my laptop off the floor and flipped it open. I knew Annie, and Mikasa for that matter, was right that I needed to cut back on the sugaring. Right now I made about a thousand a week, and that was barely enough to get by. It wasn’t easy being the son of a doctor who had lost his license and was now in-debt up to his ears. The money I made all came from sexual arrangements, and, boy, was the sex part emphasized for all of them, but that was how I made the big bucks. I didn't much mind having sex with strangers; those were the only type of people I'd had sex with even before I was getting paid to do it.

Maybe I could find a platonic sugar daddy who would put up with my broke ass for nothing in return. I went to the sugaring site I used and clicked the search option. I plugged in a few parameters—no way in hell was I sugaring for someone over sixty, platonically or otherwise. What would we talk about? The Great Depression?—and let the site churn out the results.

About thirty or so new daddies had joined since I had last done a search. Almost all of them included ‘looking for fun’ in their bios. That was a sure sign of one thing: sex. Anyone who had ‘nice guy’ in their bio was out for sure. I did stumble upon a few guys that had platonic potential, but looking through their public photos was a total turn-off. Even a sugar baby had to have standards.

I finally found one guy that didn’t look half bad in the appearance department. Granted, his public photo only showed the lower half of his face, but damn that jaw-line could cut diamond. On top of that his net worth and annual income were enough to make me drool. He wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, and he was a social drinker. Both the ‘About Me’ and ‘What I’m Looking For’ sections were short and to the point. He was a business man looking for companionship. There was a line thrown in about ‘wanting to share the joys and colors of life’ that made me laugh. It seemed so out of place that I pegged it as a joke. Everything about the man’s profile was intriguing to me, especially his username: wingsoffreedom23.

I clicked on the ‘Message’ box and typed out a quick note:

**angryboy  
** _hi! i’m eren. i like your profile. i’d love to know more about you._

I opened a new tab and began randomly perusing the internet. None of the other guys in the search had had any potential, and I was in no mood to respond to the messages in my inbox that only had to do with greasy old guys wanting to stick their dicks in me. To my surprise, not three minutes later, I received an email saying wingsoffreedom23 had viewed my profile and had messaged me.

**wingsoffreedom23**  
_Sorry kid. Looks like we’re looking for different things. We probably won’t match_.

**angryboy  
** _what are you talking about? you don’t even know what i’m looking for lol ;)_

Shit. I’d fallen into flirty mode. I needed to climb out of this hole quick. I had to remember that I wanted a non-sexual relationship for once on this dumb site.

_but seriously, I’m looking for a non-sexual arrangement. I want to engage someone mentally rather than physically_.

There, that was good. It sounded like cheesy bullshit, but maybe it would make up for that ridiculous winky face. The man replied almost immediately. 

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _You seem like a good kid, so I’ll be honest with you: my friend signed me up for this site because I lost a bet. I honestly don’t want a sugar brat or whatever they're called._

**angryboy**  
_Sugar_ baby _. And you’re a sugar daddy_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _That’s disgusting._

I laughed out loud and rolled onto my stomach. I propped my laptop against my pillows. 

**angryboy  
** _so you wouldn’t want me to call you daddy?_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _God no._

**angryboy  
** _then what should i call you?_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _Don’t bother kid. This isn’t going anywhere_

**angryboy  
** _Come on, give me shot. Please? I really just need a platonic arrangement right now. I have to drop my other arrangements because they’ve gotten too much. Help me out please?_

Ugh, did I just open up to this guy? That definitely hadn’t been my intention, but the fact of the matter was I really needed the cash if I was going to drop Dave and few other daddies as well. 

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _I’m not throwing you a pity party if that’s what you’re after, but since that fucking four-eyes is making me get a sugar brat because I lost the bet I guess I’ll take you up on the offer_

**angryboy  
** _fuck yeah! i swear i won’t bother you a lot just let me know what you want. but no sex, kay?_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _Really wasn’t looking for that anyway so don’t sweat it_

**angryboy  
** _so what’s your name? and you want my number?_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _Levi. Number’s 4587462234. Don’t call me. Just text me. Got it?_

**angryboy  
** _yes sir!_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _don’t call me sir_

**angryboy  
** _yes ma’am!_

**wingsoffreedom23  
** _you’re such a brat. text me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i completely made up levi's number. i literally just typed out some random digits lmao. hope that was a fun first chapter! let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot a content warning for the first chapter at first, but i have gone back and fixed that. usually i'm very good about cws so i'm peeved with myself that i didn't put one. sorry about that everyone! i will try to be good about putting them at the start of chapters. most will have to do with sexual assault and mentions of self-harm just for a heads up.

**Eren’s POV**

 

Texting Levi was proving to be incredibly entertaining. He had a crass sense of humor that I hadn’t expected from a ‘business executive’. After much prodding on my part, he had admitted to that being his job. Even for someone who had just met me over the internet, he was not very forthcoming. His privacy didn’t come off as defensive; he just didn’t seem to like talking about himself all that much. He generally changed the subject whenever I asked him personal questions.

He didn’t typically initiate our conversations either, but, when I did text him, he would reply almost immediately and carry on an amusing conversation with me. Even on my worse days, when my dad left harassing voicemails on my phone, he managed to win a smile and a laugh from me.

He had even taken to dropping occasional sums of money into my PayPal. I felt bad about taking his money since he wasn’t interested in being a sugar daddy, but when I had first protested, he had told me that he had more money than he knew what to do with and that I should just be grateful. He didn't come off as an asshole saying it, which was an impressive feat.

The rest of my sugaring wasn’t going nearly as smoothly. I had brushed Dave off with limited success. I had given him a school-has-gotten-too-busy excuse, but that didn’t stop him from texting every few days to see if I was interested in another hook-up session. Considering the money he was putting down, which bordered on triple digits, I was very interested, but my self-preservation, which reared its head every once and while, told me not to. I had a couple of other daddies on hand that helped ease the financial burden, but since I was cutting back, I was starting to feel the strain on my bank balance. Levi’s contributions helped and I worked at my college’s cafe, so I wasn’t completely fucked.

The cafe was where I had met Reiner, Bert, and Annie. They were usually put together for shifts and our manager had thrown me into the mix as well. When I had admitted to Annie during one of our breaks that I was looking to live off campus, she had offered the fourth room in their apartment to me. I had had a triple with Mikasa and Armin that year, but housing had become too much for me to pay. I managed to wrangle a refund from the college for that semester and the rent for Annie’s place was only seven-fifty a month. A few months after I had moved in, Reiner had let slip that he, Bert, and Annie paid eight-fifty. This admission had earned him a kick to the back of the knees from Annie. I had tried to convince them to let me pay equally, but Annie wasn’t having it. 

“Your room is a fucking cupboard,” she had said with enough finality to put an end to my arguments.

That had been the middle of the first semester of my sophomore year. Now I was in my junior year, still paying seven-fifty for my room and working at the cafe with Annie and Reiner. Bert had quit when he had gotten a job at one of the labs on campus.

I missed living with Armin and Mikasa. They had gotten a new roommate their second semester: some kid from France named ‘John’ but spelled ‘Jean’. He was a bit of an ass, but he kept his space tidy and he was only lovestruck by Mikasa for the first three months. Mikasa, Armin, and I still had meals together and would go to the movies, even though they would usually spot me and I'd get pissy. 

We hadn't been able to hang out much lately though. Armin was busy taking a million labs. He wanted to be a neurosurgeon. Mikasa's training had also ramped up over the last couple of months. She was a nationally ranked boxer. That was why she and Annie had clicked so well despite sharing a tendency for monosyllabic speech. Annie was a Krav Maga specialist. She had done competitions in high school, but now she just trained for fun. Mikasa on the other hand wanted to go pro with her boxing.

I was a bit lonely without them around, though I didn't miss Mikasa's constant disapproval of my sugaring. I was pretty close with my flatmates, but we didn't share the same sort of camaraderie. On top of that, I was still ridiculously embarrassed about being around Reiner. It turned out we had hooked up at a party our freshman year. I hadn't seen him around until I had a shift with him at the cafe. We hooked up a few times after that, but then he had started dating Bert. I wasn't even certain whether Bert knew that I'd had his boyfriend's dick in my mouth before. 

A couple of weeks after I got Levi's number, he broached the subject about meeting in-person. He made a big show about it being four-eyes' idea. Four-eyes' real name was Hange and apparently they were the reason Levi was "in this mess to begin with". I knew I shouldn't take it personally that he wasn't pickled green about the idea of meeting me, but I had honestly started to think of him as a friend these last few weeks.

I stared down at my phone and read through the message that I had received from Levi on this topic. My heart thrummed in my chest with excitement that was dampened only a little by Levi's blatant reluctance.

** Levi _  
_ ** _ Four-eyes is pestering me about meeting you. If you're interested, we can. No pressure though. I don't mind one way or the _ other.

I scowled, finally letting my irritation get the best of me. If he didn't want to meet, he shouldn't have even brought it up.  _Asshole_ , I thought as I stuffed my phone into my back pocket. 

"Eren!"

I looked up at the sound of my name. Jeff waved as he walked over to me. Why did all my sugar daddies have such bland, accountant-like names? I put on my best fake smile and returned the wave. Jeff reached the table I was sitting at and took the seat beside me. I always met SDs in a public place, even if I had already decided to go to a hotel or somewhere else with them. Today, I had chosen a nice cafe on the south side of the city. I went to an urban college in the north end with much better cafes, but I didn't want to run the risk of seeing someone I knew from school. 

"How are you?" Jeff asked as he settled into the chair next to me. He wasn't a bad looking fellow; I had standards after all. He was also nice enough and wasn't a kinky bastard like Dave, which was why I hadn't dropped him.

"I'm good," I lied, not that Jeff would be able to pick up on that. I had perfected my fake smile and jovial response long ago. Only Mikasa and Armin could pick up on the lie. Even Annie had a hard time discerning it as fake.

"That's good. How's school going?"

We launched into innocuous small talk that took up about an hour. For the most part my attention was elsewhere. My phone had buzzed in my pocket a few times during our conversation. I wondered if it was Levi. Well, if it was, he would just have to wait. I was still pissed that he would even offer to meet if he didn't want to.

"Eren, you seem distracted is everything alright?" Jeff asked as he placed his credit card into the check holder. He put it onto the table where the waitress would see it and stared at me with a concerned furrow of his brow.

"I'm sorry," I said with a sheepish smile. "I know we said no phones, but is it okay if I check mine?" 

"Of course," Jeff said with a shrug. "Is everything okay?"

"It should be," I said as I fished out my phone. I clicked the home button and my screen glowed. Sure enough, I had a text from Levi, as well as one from Dave.

**Levi**  
_I'm sorry if it seemed like I'm not interested in meeting. I don't want to put any pressure on you since you've been having a hard time with your other work_.

I smiled. He had actually apologized. All name-calling officially rescinded. I had admitted to him about some of my sugaring going sour. He called it 'work', which I thought was adorable. In fact, his overall discomfort surrounding sugaring was endearing. I checked the message from Dave as well and all of my elation died in a second.

** Dave SA  
** _ So you thought you could just take my money and run huh punk?  Our arrangement isn't over. You'd best get your ass in my bed tonight if you don't want me going to the cops. _

The fuck was wrong with this shit dick? Was he drunk or something? I scowled and clicked shut my phone. I didn't have time for this bullshit and now I was too pissed to text Levi back.

"Eren, is everything okay?" Jeff asked. He was filling out the receipt, which had arrived while I was reading my texts.

"It's fine," I said with a sigh. "My friend's just being an ass." 'Friend' wasn't even a remotely accurate way of describing Dave, but I didn't mention other daddies in front of the one I was currently with. "Oh, sorry," I added quickly when it had registered that I had cussed. That was another no-no with daddies in general.

"That's okay," Jeff said with a grin. "You're cute when you swear."

_ Bitch, I'm always _ _cute_ , didn't have quite the professional feel to it, so I just opted for a flirty smile.

"Wanna get out of here?" I asked, flashing a seductive, hooded-eye smile. I was quite confident in this smile since I had practiced it in the mirror so often.

"Actually, Eren," Jeff said with a sigh, "this is going to be our last meeting." He folded his hands on the table. 

"What do you mean?" I said. 

"I'm not actually gay, you see," Jeff said with an awkward laugh. He rubbed the back of his head and glanced to the side.

Sure, man, say that to your cock which you had shoved in my ass for over an hour last week. 

"Also, I'm getting married."

"What?!" I squawked. I clapped a hand over my mouth as several other patrons glanced around curiously. My cheeks flushed a bright red.

"I'm getting married," Jeff said. His tone held an annoyed edge as he glared at me over my outburst.

"Is this a joke?" I asked quietly as I lowered my hand.

"No," he said.

"So, why'd you even want an arrangement with me?" I asked quietly as I stared down at the table. I wasn't sure why I was getting so worked up about this. It wasn't like I was getting dumped, but I did feel like Jeff was dropping me because I was me.

"I just wanted to have sex with someone the way I wanted to before I got married, and I'd always wanted to do it with a guy," Jeff explained with a shrug.

"Yeah, that makes you gay," I muttered under my breath. My words earned me a sour glare from Jeff. "Um, could you at least pay me for today then?" I asked.

"I paid for lunch, so that's enough," Jeff said as he waved to the table between us.

"No, it's not. We agreed to one hundred for every meeting," I said in a tight voice. I was starting to get angry, which was the last thing I wanted to do when I was in public and presented with a face that was looking oh-so punchable right now.

"Doesn't count for this one," Jeff said, shaking his head. "This was just a last meal for us to say goodbyes."

"Well I didn't fucking know that now did I?" I said through gritted teeth. So much for not swearing in front of daddies, but honestly if this cock waffle kept this up, I was going to wipe the floor with his face.

"Eren, I wanted us to part on good terms," Jeff said as he rose. "I guess that won't be the case." He gave a small sigh. "I'll see you around." And just like that, he turned and walked away.

I stared after him with my mouth gaping open. What had just happened? Had Jeff seriously just walked out on paying me? Fucking Jeff. I had given up the opportunity for another meet because of this. I had thought I'd be able to wrangle a little extra cash out of Jeff and now I was left with nothing. On top of that I was still hungry. I never ate a lot at a meet if I thought I'd be having sex after. I wanted to look good, you know?

"What the f _u_ ck," I whispered under my breath as slouched down in my chair. This had been an absolutely shitty day. 

On top of Jeff being a fuckwad, I had failed my calculus test for bullshit reasons. I had hooked up a couple of times with the TA of the class  _not_ because he was the TA, and I was almost certain he'd flunked me because I'd stopped hooking up with him. I'd have to talk to Armin to confirm this theory. Then there was Dave. I shook my head as I pulled out my phone and scanned over the message from him once more.  _What a prick_ , I thought as I typed out a quick response.

_ I'm sorry you feel this way, but I would like to point out that we didn't agree to a long-term arrangement. I didn't break any promises. I'm seriously just swamped with work right now. Your text made me very uncomfortable, Dave. I thought you were a better guy than this... _

Even though I stayed away from the guys who put 'nice guy' in their profile, just about all the men on the sugaring site considered themselves some sort of fedora-wearing white-knight. Maybe playing on his warped sense of chivalry would get him to come to his senses. 

Next, I turned my attention to Levi. I knew I shouldn't be texting him when I was irritated. I actually liked him and cared what he thought of me, but by now I was too peeved to consider this. 

_ I'm fine with meeting. It's one hundred per meet. No ifs ands or buts about it. _

Poor Levi, he didn't deserve to take the brunt of my annoyance, but when I got like this, I couldn't help myself. I heaved a sigh and left the cafe. I decided to walk several of the blocks back to my apartment in the hopes that I would be in a better mood before facing the subway crowds and finally getting back to the apartment. Annie was incredibly attuned to my bad moods. She didn't fuss like Mikasa did, but she would cast me sidelong glances and ask me if I was alright a few too many times. A buzzing from my back pocket alerted me to a text message. I pulled out my phone. I wasn't looking forward to a reply from either of the men I had texted. Maybe I'd be lucky and it would be a text from Armin or Mikasa. I had no such luck.

**Levi**  
_I understand. Are you alright? That text didn't sound like you._

God, he was an observant fellow that was for sure, but I found myself once again smiling at a text from him. The fact that he could pick up on my irritation through text message after knowing me for such a short period of time, and that he would check in about it made me happy. 

_ I'm _ _sorry_ , I wrote,  _I just got cheated by this geezer at a meet. I shouldn't have taken it out on you_.

**Levi**  
_Don't worry about it. That really sucks. Do you want me to give you what he owes you?_

_No, it's _ _okay._ I smiled as I typed out the words. 

**Levi  
** _How much?_

**Me** _**  
** Dude seriously it's fine _

** **Levi** _  
_ ** _ Don't be a brat about it _

** Me _  
_ ** _ Don't be a daddy about it _

**Levi**  
:0

I doubled over laughing when I received Levi's response. A few passerbys gave me strange looks. I ignored them, too wrapped up in Levi's priceless response. I moved to the edge of the sidewalk by a building and leaned against the wall.

**Me  
** _Kidding kidding! He was supposed to pay me 100 for our meet today. Let's meet and you can pay me a bit extra for it to make up for it kay?_

** Levi  
** _ Works with me. Would it be okay if Hange comes too? They're pestering me about meeting you. Apparently they need to confirm with their own four eyes that I have a sugar brat _

** Me _  
_ ** _ That's fine with me! _

** Levi  
** _ Are you sure? You can bring a friend if you like _

** Me  
** _That's okay. None of my friends are super on board with the sugaring thing. They'll probs think it's weird_

** Levi _  
_ ** _Hange doesn't have to come if you won't feel comfortable_

** Me _  
_ ** _I said it's fine! You worry like an old man!_

**Levi**  
_I'm free next week on Tuesday. Lunch?_

 ** Me  
** _Sure!_

**Levi**  
_Text me the time and place. I have to make a work call_  


** Me _  
_ ** _kk talk to you later_

I was feeling considerably less shitty now that I had had that conversation with Levi. I tucked my phone into my pocket and headed for the subway. Now that my mood had elevated, I would be able to face the crowd in the subway without the burning desire to punch some in the cock. Dave didn't even text me back so there was nothing to dampen my spirits. That was, until I reached the apartment to find Annie standing fiercely in the doorway with a scowl on her face as some man yelled at her to move. To my horror and astonishment I realized that man was my father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i edited the chapter and toned down on the grisha-eren scene. i decided i don't want to get to heavy with this so i opted for this version instead.

**Eren’s POV**

 

I hadn’t seen my father in several months, but he looked the same as always: long brown hair slicked back; round glasses sitting crookedly on his nose; blood-shot eyes bulging. He looked absolutely manic, but Annie didn’t seem phased in the slightest.

“He’s not here,” she was in the midst of enunciating clearly as I approached. 

“What’s going on?” I asked as I hurried down the hallway.

Annie’s eyes widened when she heard me call out to them. She glanced over at me. There wasn’t any pity in her eyes for which I was grateful. I had seen as much in Reiner and Bert's eyes when they saw me interact with my father on the rare occasion he came by the apartment. Annie wasn’t the type to pity people. She was deeply concerned that I was here though, that much I could tell. She had probably hoped to get rid of Grisha before I got back.

“There you are,” my father spat as he rounded on me. “Where the fuck have you been?”

_Yeah, like I just wait around at home for you to show up, drunk off your ass ready to rip into me_ , I thought. Despite my annoyance and deep discomfort, I kept a placid face. 

“I was seeing a friend,” I said quietly. I glanced down at the floor. I hated looking at my father when he was in a state. For one it was utterly terrifying; for another it functioned to remind me of the time when he _wasn’t_ like this. 

“I need to talk to you,” Grisha said. He turned back to Annie. “Now will you let me in?”

Annie glanced in my direction. I nodded and she stepped out of the doorway. My father plowed past her and I trudged after him. He had been in the apartment a few times before so he knew his way around. He headed straight for my bedroom. 

“Let me know if you need anything,” Annie said as I reached my bedroom door.

“Thanks.” I closed the door behind me. My heart was ricocheting in my chest as I halted a pace inside the room. I wrapped my arm around myself as if that could shield me from the fit of rage that was about to be unleashed. “What’s up?” I asked lamely. 

“You haven’t been answering my calls,” my father snarled as he rounded on me. Spit flew from his mouth. 

I flinched and kept my gaze on the floorboards. There was a reason I had been ignoring my father’s calls. All he ever did was berate me. I didn’t need the self-esteem dismantling that came from being on the phone even for just a minute with him. The voicemails he left were hard enough to endure. 

“Sorry, I’ve been busy with school,” I said.

“I have an interview at a hospital a few cities over from here," Grisha said, ignoring my measly excuse.

"Really?" My face brightened as I looked up at my father. "That's great." My father had been unemployed for almost three years now, which was why I was in such a pickle money wise. He'd lost his license because of malpractice. I honestly hadn't thought he'd ever manage to get it again. 

"I need you to spot me some cash to make the trip."

Of course. He wasn't here to celebrate the good news; he just wanted something from me. I sighed quietly. 

"I have a bit I can spare," I said as I walked to my dresser.

"You should since you whore yourself out to dirty old men," Grisha said with a snort.

I froze and glanced over my shoulder at him. How did he...How did he know about that?!

"Um, what do you mean?" I opened the drawer and took out the money Dave had given me.

"I know about the whoring you do," my father said with a shrug as if such knowledge wasn't completely mind-blowing. "I wonder what your mother would think of you now." He sneered. 

He was usually belligerently intoxicated when I saw him, but even then he wouldn't mention Mom. I flinched slightly at her mention. I really didn't want to think about what my mom would have thought about my having sex with people for money.  _Not that it matters since she's not even alive to know about it_ , I thought bitterly.

"You want money or not," I snapped, waving the wad of cash at him.

"Hand it over," Grisha said as he made a grab for it.

"Whoa there," I said. "I need some for myself too you know." I counted out several hundred dollars and handed it over.

"I'll let you know how it goes," my father said. He didn't bother saying 'thank you', but I hadn't expected him to. Without another word he left the apartment. 

I sighed and flopped down on my bed. I was torn between being excited that my father might be going back to work, annoyed that I had had to cough up money, and really confused that he knew about the sugaring. God, what if he had met one of my sugar daddies. What if he  _was_ a sugar daddy? Wait, that didn't make sense; he was fucking broke, and straight so I wouldn't show up in his searches on the site.

“Eren.”

I looked over at the sound of Annie’s voice. Her hand rested lightly on the doorframe as she regarded me with soft blue eyes. 

“Is everything okay?” 

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "We're good." I sat up. "My dad might be getting a job."

"That's great." She allowed for a small smile, which was a rare occurrence for her, but she knew how desperately my father needed to get off his drunk ass and get back to work. 

"Sorry you had to deal with him," I said.  


“No problem.” Annie shrugged. “I've dealt with worse." She didn't give me a chance to question what could possibly be worse than my drunk dad harassing her in her own home. "I’m going to the movies with Mikasa. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” I said. “Have a nice date.” I gave her a mischievous smile. I knew she and Mikasa weren't officially calling their 'get-togethers' anything of the like. 

“You’re a little shit,” she said blandly. "See ya."

"Bye."

* * *

While the encounter with my father had put a mild damper on my week, the idea of meeting Levi had me so elated that the next morning I woke up practically buzzing with excitement. This would have been all well and good if it weren't for the fact that I still had _five freaking_ _days_ until we planned to meet. Still, I was lucky in that my good mood helped me get through the rest of the week. 

I talked to Armin about my Calculus midterm. It turned out that I actually just sucked at Calculus and the TA wasn't out to get me as revenge for no longer having sex with him. This was rather disheartening to learn, but not that surprising. Armin agreed to help me with the corrections for the midterm. Our professor allowed us to do corrections to earn back a few points. We could work with our peers on these, which was a blessing. Armin was a great tutor, although sometimes his sheer intellect left me baffled and wondering if I even had a brain. I spent Thursday night with him in the dorm room I had shared with him and Mikasa. Having me and Jean in the same room was a terrible idea, but luckily he was spending the night at Marco's. I made maybe too many jokes about this, though Armin and Mikasa were bemused by it all the same. It was something of a running gag in our friend group how in love Jean was with Marco, and how overcompensatingly heterosexual he was about it. Marco was in the same class year as me, Mikasa, and Armin, as well as one of my co-workers at the cafe. He was also possibly the sweetest human being I had ever met, and he reciprocated Jean's feelings in full. Although, he actually acknowledged these feelings as romantic/sexual, unlike Jean.

Even with the prospect of meeting Levi, nothing could keep my irritation, as well as concern, at bay when it came to Dave. He sent me a pissy text about how he'd thought our arrangement would last longer and blah blah blah. He was being such a cock waffle, but he was a dangerous one so I couldn't just blow him off with a 'fuck you'. He didn't make anymore threats about the police though, so that was reassuring. He did bombard me with texts though, which I either ignored or replied with a polite refusal. 

Levi and I texted throughout the end of the week. He even texted me first a few times. The first was Saturday morning to ask me how the movie I had gone to see with Armin and Miaksa had been. He messaged me a few more times over the course of the weekend to check in or to send me pictures of the 'disgusting state' the break room at his office had been left in. I used air quotes because honestly one rogue coffee mug was hardly disgusting. Between these images and a few other comments, I had pieced together that Levi had something of a cleaning fetish. I called him out on this Sunday.

**Me**  
_You're a little obsessed with cleaning aren't you?_

** Levi  
** _ No I just have an appreciation for tidiness _

** Me  
** _ But by your standards this isn't tidy? _

I attached an image of my room, which I had actually cleaned up this morning. My bed was made and even my laundry hamper wasn't overflowing. It honestly looked quite presentable in my mind.

**Levi**  
_Jesus Christ Eren you live there??_

** Me _  
_ ** _I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not lmao_

** Levi _  
_ ** _I'm not._

Me _  
_ _omg_ _  
_

When Monday night finally rolled around, I texted Levi about plans for our meet-up. I suggested a cafe-bookstore that I went to a lot with Armin. It was a bit out of the way from the college so the odds that I would run into any other students were slim. I left the time up to Levi to decide since I generally skipped my Tuesday class. Levi asked about classes, quite persistently, however, and I admitted that I was going to cut. He seemed personally insulted by the notion that I would skip in order to meet with him and made sure we met after my class.

** Me  
** _ Alright alright we'll do 1. And Crossroads works for you? _

** Levi  
** _ Yes _

** Me  
** _ Great! I'm looking forward to meeting you :) _

** Levi  
** _ Me too  _

** Me _  
_ ** _ You're looking forward to meeting yourself too :b _

_ Levi  
_ Has anyone told you recently you're a brat   


**_ Me  
_ ** _ Nope! But that's what I keep you around for _

** Levi _  
_ ** _ Brat _

** Me _  
_ ** _ Old man _

_ ** Levi _  
_ ** See you tomorrow _

I wasn't sure if he meant it as a term of endearment when he called me a brat, but that was how I had begun to take it. Every time he called me that, a big, goofy smile would spread over my face. I had taken to calling him 'old man' in response. He was only twenty-six, which made him four years my senior, but he didn't even know what SnapChat was for Christ's sake. I was still in the process of convincing him to get one. My biggest plug for it was that he could send me more pictures of the gross break room. He had yet to relent, but I felt certain I was wearing down his walls.

Tuesday morning I woke an hour before my alarm and couldn't get back to sleep. Since this was the case, I got out of bed early and took a quick run around the neighborhood. I was far from a work-out fanatic, but I did the odd run and weight lifting routine here and there to stay looking good. I felt too excited to sit still. I spent about thirty minutes picking out my outfit, which was the longest time I'd spent choosing what to wear for a daddy-meet. Except, this didn't feel like meeting someone off of Seeking Arrangement. It really did feel like I was meeting a friend for the first time.

I could barley sit through class and had enough nervous energy that my leg had bounced the entire time. Jean, who was taking Environmental Studies with me, ended up stabbing my knee with his pencil to try to get me to stop. I had yelped loudly, interrupting my professor's lecture and Jean had practically fallen out of his seat laughing. I had taken to controlling my nervous bouncing after that.

My plan had been to go straight to Crossroads after class, even though that would have meant getting there two hours early. These plans were derailed by an SOS text from Reiner. Apparently the coffee machine at the cafe had jammed and was spewing molten coffee everywhere. He had sent the message, along with a selfie of his horrified face with the offending machine in the background, to our work group chat, so really I didn't need to rush over. However, I had unjammed the machine before and also didn't want to miss the chance of seeing Reiner in distress, so I had gone to help out. It had turned out to be trickier than I had initially expected. Even with me, Annie, Bert, Marco, and Reiner trying to fix it, it took us over an hour to do so, much to the annoyance and occasional amusement of our customers. I had one girl actually chuck her phone at my head when I told her she couldn't have coffee. She had then had to sheepishly ask for it back, which was hilarious.

Because of this, I was almost late for the one o'clock meet. I took the subway downtown, willing the train to go faster the entire time. When it finally pulled into the stop for Crossroads, I jumped off the train and sprinted above ground. I ran down the street and darted around the corner, beyond which stood the cafe. My momentum carried me around the corner and I promptly slammed into someone.

"Oi, watch where you're going," a voice snapped from below me.

"Sorry," I said as I took a hasty step back. I looked down and I was met with a scowling face. I gasped. I knew that jawline; there was no way I wouldn't be able to recognize it.

The rest of Levi's face was just as stunning as his jawline. His face was angled and framed by straight black hair that fell to his eyebrows. His eyes were a steely gray, a shade I had only ever encountered in Mikasa's eyes. His nose was demure and actually rather adorable. His eyebrows were creased in a frown. The expression slowly softened as he realized who I was. My profile included a public picture of my face, and although my expression was designed to draw in customers--ie over the top seductive--I was still recognizable from it. My eyes strayed lower as I drank in every inch of him. He was dressed in a dark green button-down, which was rolled up to his elbows. He had on dark skinny jeans as well, which clung to his slender legs. Surprisingly enough, a myriad of piercings decorated the cartilage of his left ear. Suffice it to say, he was really fucking hot. And say it I was just about on the verge of. I knew I wasn't going to be able to prevent words from tumbling out of my mouth, but I didn't want to comment on how amazingly attractive he was in the first three seconds of breathing the same air as him. Instead, I uttered the second astonishing fact about him that I had noted.

"Whoa, you're short."

I really wished I had just stuck with the comment on his hotness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the comments and kudos! i'm glad everyone's enjoying it so far! you can find me on tumblr with the same un (toxzen)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always for the amazingly positive response!

** Levi’s POV **

It was 1:03 and Eren hadn’t shown up at the cafe yet. I wasn’t particularly annoyed by this fact, but the longer he went without showing up, the less certain I could be about knowing when he would arrive. My nervousness wasn’t enjoying this uncertainty. I fiddled absent-mindedly with my phone as I stared down the street. Hange had gone inside to get us coffee. I remembered Eren mentioning in a text at some point that he liked decaf. Apparently he got too wired on caffeine. Personally I took my coffee black and caffeinated; there was no point to it otherwise.

Suddenly, someone plowed squarely into my right side. I stumbled a step to the side and cussed quietly.

“Oi, watch where you’re going,” I snapped as I rounded on whoever had just been unfortunate enough to crash into me.

“Sorry,” came a plaintive squeak.

I looked up at the boy who spoke and recognized him instantly. Honestly, Eren’s photos didn’t do him justice in the slightest. His turquoise eyes were practically luminous and stood out stunningly against his tanned skin. His thatch of brown hair stood sporadically around his face like a chestnut-colored halo. His eyes widened and recognition sparked in his eyes. He must have been able to tell who I was from the photo that Hange had uploaded to the site.

“Whoa, you’re short.” The words gushed out of his mouth. His eyes widened in horror and he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth.

“What did you just let escape your shit hole?” I asked blandly as I raised an eyebrow. Any mention of my height, even from someone as adorable as Eren, was enough to raise my hackles.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said. “I’m so sorry; it just came out. You’re…you're Levi, right?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Ugh, this is the worse,” Eren said as he buried his face in his hands. “This is seriously so embarrassing.” He peeked at me through his fingers and I quirked my brow. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to say that. I was just about so say something else and I didn’t want to say that so that came out and…” His babbling died out and he dropped his hands to his sides with a defeated expression on his face.

My lips twitched slightly. I had never seen such an endearing display of agonized embarrassment. Eren was blushing red to the roots of his hair. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He was dressed in a dark blue long sleeve shirt with a green scarf twined around his neck. He had on gray-washed jeans. It was a simple outfit, but I noticed a distinct lack of wrinkles, which was surprising since from the state of his bedroom in the picture he'd sent me I had surmised that he had no idea how to fold clothes. His backpack was slung over one of his shoulders as well.

“Can we start over?” Eren asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay, great.” He gave me a dazzling smile and held out his hand. “I’m Eren.”

“Levi,” I said as I took his hand. It was shockingly warm, but not in an uncomfortable way even though my body temperature tended to run very low.

“Oh, you found each other! That’s great!” Hange’s ecstatic voice made me look around.

I dropped Eren’s hand and tucked my hands into my back pockets. Hange grinned as they hurried up to us with three cups of coffee balanced precariously in their hands. I took two of them from my friend.

“This one is yours, Eren,” Hange said as they handed Eren the coffee they still held. “And this is mine.” They took back one of the coffees from me. “I’m Hange by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Eren said.

“Let’s find somewhere to sit.” I led the pair over to an open table and sat down at it.

Eren perched in the chair across from me and Hange took the seat beside me. I took a sip of my coffee and watched as Eren did the same, though much more tentatively.

“Oh, it’s decaf! How’d you know?” he asked, glancing between me and Hange.

“In one of your texts you said you only drink decaf,” I explained.

“Oh, you remembered! Cool.” Eren blushed lightly as he rolled the coffee cup between his palms.

“So, Eren,” Hange said, and I had to suppress a sigh, “Levi has told me approximately nothing about you. Why don’t you fill me in?” They flashed a grin as they adjusted their glasses so they were perched precisely on the bridge of their nose.

“There’s not much to tell,” Eren said. “I’m a student here in the city; I work at the school's cafe…” Eren shrugged. “That’s about it.”

“What are you studying?” Hange asked.

“I’m an Art and English double major,” Eren replied.

“Impressive,” I said, taking another sip of coffee.

“Oh, oh, no,” Eren said as his cheeks flushed. “It’s nothing really. I mean it’s art and English, not exactly hard classes.” He gave a nervous laugh.

“Sounds like something some pretentious STEM bastard would say,” I said.

“You think so? It’s what my dad always says.”

“He a pretentious STEM bastard?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Eren laughed. He was slowly beginning to relax. I could see the tension leave his shoulders and he wasn’t fidgeting as much.

“What about you guys?” Eren asked, glancing between us. “What did you study?”

“I'm a pretentious STEM bastard," Hange said loftily. "I majored in bio-chemistry, but Levi—“ They jabbed a thumb at me—“didn’t go to college.”

“Really?” Eren cocked his head. “How come?”

“It just wasn’t for me,” I replied with a shrug. That was far from the truth, but I saw no reason to gush about what the real reason was.

“Oh, yeah, I feel that. School is pretty shitty.”

“Stay in school, kid,” I ordered, brandishing a finger at Eren, who suppressed a small giggle.

“Levi is a big supporter of higher education,” Hange explained. “He’s taking night classes to get a degree.”

“Cool!” Eren said excitedly, and he actually sounded like he meant it. "In what?"

"Economics," I said with a shrug.

We fell into a bout of amicable small talk. Eren was as enjoyable a conversationalist as he was a texter. He was incredibly witty and could pick up on social cues, such as when I got uncomfortable about certain topics—family and childhood being the ones we avoided the most.

“So, Hange,” Eren said, “I asked Levi, but he wouldn’t tell me about the bet he lost. Will you?”

“Of course!” Hange said.

Eren grinned like an eager puppy. I groaned and shook my head. Eren had asked me about eight times over the past week what bet I had lost, but I had refused to indulge him.

“I bet Levi that he couldn’t get Petra, a friend of ours, to go on a date with him. And he couldn’t.” Hange gave a triumphant grin.

“What they are failing to mention and failed to mention at the time as well,” I said, “is that they’re dating Petra, which meant there was no way I could win that bet.” I shot Hange an accusing glower.

“What?” Hange said, raising their hands defensively. “I had a plan and it’s working.” Hange jabbed a thumb at Eren and gave me a wink.

“Plan?” Eren asked, blinking at the pair of us. “What plan?”

“Levi hasn’t been getting out at all,” Hange said. “Honestly, he’s just plain boring to be around. I figured getting someone new in his life might spice things up again. Make him seem less like a grumpy old man.”

“He is a grumpy old man, isn’t he?” Eren said with an impish grin.

“And you’re a brat,” I said, pointing at him across the table.

“I don’t try to deny it,” Eren said with a shrug. His magnetic eyes were fixed on mine and he waggled his eyebrows.

“I have to get going,” Hange said as they stood up.

I pulled my gaze from Eren’s and looked up.

“Oh?”

“I have to go back to the lab and finish a few things up.”

I made to rise, but Hange waved their hand dismissively.

“You stay and chat. It was great to meet you Eren,” they said as they turned to Eren.

“Yeah, same,” Eren said. He waved as Hange walked away. “So,” he said quietly as he set his hand back down on the tabletop.

“Want to get out of here?” I asked.

* * *

** Eren's POV **

I could feel my cheeks flood with color. My eyes widened as my lips pinched together in a stunned frown. I stared at Levi's slender face. His thin brows furrowed.

“What?” he snapped. “Why are you looking at me like I have plans to eat you? I just figured we could take a walk around the park.” He stood up and picked up his half-empty coffee cup from the table.

“Oh,” I said with a relieved sigh, “that’s what you meant.” I scrambled to my feet and followed him as he left the cafe’s fenced-in patio. I chucked my empty cup in the trash as we passed it.

“What did you think I meant?” Levi asked, glancing up at me with a curious frown.

“Well, um,” I said. I pushed a hand into my pocket and ruffled my hair with the other. "That's what I say to guys to, like, see if they wanna go to a hotel or something."

"Ah," Levi said. " _Ah_. That is definitely not what I meant." He kept his gaze rooted on the plastic lid of his coffee cup.  A soft dusting of pink covered his pale cheeks.

"Okay, cool," I said with a small chuckle. "That would have been awkward."

Levi hummed quietly and took a sip of coffee. We walked in silence for a few blocks and entered the park. It was a pleasant silence and not one that made me feel obligated to fill it with meaningless conversation. Levi tossed out his coffee cup in the first trash can we passed and pushed his hands into his pockets.

"So what got you started with sugaring?" His brows twisted in a puzzled fashion as he uttered the last word.

"Well, I'm kinda broke," I said with a laugh. "It got really bad about a year and a half ago. I couldn't pay for my next meal, let alone tuition. I had to figure out something and this is the fastest way to make money. It's also a lot easier and safer than most sex work. I can pick my clients myself and I'm not held accountable to a pimp."

"Makes sense," Levi said with a slow nod.

"Are you going to tell me what you do for work?" I asked, giving him a friendly nudge with my elbow. "'Business exec' isn't exactly a great descriptor."

"I work at a marketing firm," Levi said with a light chuckle. "There really isn't much to it besides filling out paperwork."

"Uck, sounds boring."

"Very." Levi shrugged. "But I like boring." Silence fell between us for a short span of time until Levi spoke again. "What's the weirdest thing a...client has done?"

Have I mentioned how adorable I find it that he has trouble saying 'daddy' or 'sugar baby' or even just 'sugaring'? The way his nose wrinkled as he struggled to find a substitute or to say the word was exceptionally endearing.

"Well," I said with a big sigh, "this one time some guy had me dress up as a priest. Then he confessed all his sins to me and fucked me."

Levi came to a halt. He stared up at me, his grey eyes bulging out of his skull. He opened his mouth, shut it, and then tried again.

"I meant not sexually," he finally gasped out.

"You didn't specify," I said as I raised my arms in a shrug. I spun on my heel as I continued down the path and gave him a mischievous grin.

Levi finally erased his flustered expression from his face and walked after me. We fell in step with each other and I turned to walk forward.

"Fine, so what's the weirdest non-sexual thing a client has done?" Levi asked. His pointed cheekbones were blanketed in a blush.

"This one guy gave me piano lessons every time we met."

Levi's eyes narrowed as if he was preparing himself for the sexual plot twist.

"That was it," I said quickly, raising my hands. "I mean we did sleep together, but it was in a different context."

"You know how to play the piano, then?" Levi asked as he let a small sigh, of relief I presumed, escape his thin lips.

"Nope," I said. "That arrangement ended a few months ago and he liked it when I sucked at playing so he could chide me."

"That's a bit messed up, you know that, right?" Levi said, raising a pencil-thin eyebrow.

"Oh, believe me, I know." I barked a short laugh. "But money's money."

"What arrangements do you have going right now?"

"Oh, um," I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. "I have a few, but I'm trying to end most of them since the clients aren't that great and my roommate is getting worried."

"What's not great about them?" Levi asked. His grey eyes appraised me with an unwavering gaze.

I flushed and looked away. I didn't particularly want to get into this with Levi. He was so shy and awkward about sex stuff in general; I couldn't imagine how he would handle finding out that at least one of my clients had forced me to do stuff I didn't want to do.

"They're just assholes and don't respect what I have to say," I finally said.

"Like that guy who stood you up without paying you?" Levi asked. 

"Yeah, like that guy." I flashed a bright smile, relieved that I hadn't had to get into it with Levi.

"Speaking of," Levi stopped in the middle of the path.

We were in a sheltered grove in the city park. There wasn't anyone around. Sunlight filtered through the leaves. Levi reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took two one-hundred bills and handed them to me.

"Oh, I...that's--" I waved my hands in an embarrassed fashion.

"What? You said it was one-hundred for a meet and I said I'd pay you that guy's amount too."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean you had to pay all of it," I said.  


"It's fine. Just take it, brat."

My heart did a small cartwheel when he said that word. This was the second time hearing it leave his lips. Before then it had only been over text. He had a bland, monotoned way of speaking so it was hard to discern if there was any endearment in his tone, but it still sent a thrill down my spine to hear that word.

"Fine, fine," I said with a sigh as I took the money and put it in my wallet. "You're a pushy old man."

Levi released a quiet snort and shook his head as he put his wallet back in his pocket. 

"Let's head back over to the cafe," he said as he rotated on his heel. "I have to get back to work."

"Okay," I said as I turned around and hurried after him. 

"Thanks for meeting by the way," Levi said. His eyes were fixed on the path ahead of us as he spoke. "Hange was pestering me all last week."

"Oh, yeah, no problem," I said with a dry laugh. Here he went again, saying that this was all Hange's idea. 

"I'm glad we met too. You're a nice kid."

I gaped down at him as a blush crawled up my cheeks. 

"Thanks," I whispered quietly. 

"You blush so easily," Levi said with a small twitch of his lips. His grey eyes were warm as they regarded me.

"Shut up," I muttered. "You blush too, you know."

"No I don't," Levi said.

"Yes, you do," I said with a laugh.

"Do not."

"You were totally blushing when I said that guy boned while I was in the priest costume."

Levi scoffed loudly.

"You can hardly blame me."

"Ooh, so you admit you did blush."  


Levi skewered me with a baleful scowl, which made me laugh. We made our way back to the street the cafe was on and Levi hailed a cab. He offered to get me one too, but I declined, saying that I wanted to do some homework at the cafe.

"Armin might come join me too," I said. "This is our favorite cafe."

"Sounds good," Levi said with a nod. "I'll text you after work."

"Okay, bye!" I waved excitedly to him as he climbed into the cab.

He rolled his eyes and gave me a small wave. When the cab pulled away from the curb, I turned and walked back into the cafe. I texted Armin to see if he wanted to join me before going to the counter and grabbing a coffee. I settled down in one of the booths. My phone buzzed as I was taking my calculus textbook out of my bag. It wasn't from Armin I realized as I looked down at the screen.

**Dave**  
_Let's meet one more time. I'll pay triple I did last time and then we can be done. I would also like to apologize in person for my behavior. I hope you will give me a chance._

I stared down at the screen. Triple what he paid last time; that was eighteen hundred dollars, and then I could be rid of him completely. Sure, last time hadn't been the most pleasant experience in the bedroom, but over dinner I could make absolutely certain what all my hard limits were. It was a risk all the same, but one worth taking.

** Me  
** _ Fine. 7 o'clock Friday. That Chinese place where we first met. Then we'll see what happens next. I make no promises about anything except that I'll be there. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed Dave's end text so it was a little less like Eren what the fuck are you doing with your life? And more of a milder Eren what the fuck are you doing with your life lmao. I'm kinda coercing him into a situation because the next chapter is going to the be the scene that inspired the whole story


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: sexual assault, roofying

**Eren’s POV**

I hadn’t been looking forward to Friday night at all, but somehow time manages to fly when you’re absolutely dreading something. I knew I was dumb for getting into another Dave-situation, but if I could end this in as amicable a fashion as possible I’d take it. I ended up telling Annie about the plan to meet Dave on Thursday—and begged her not to tell Mikasa. Mikasa didn't know about what Dave had done, but if Annie brought it, she might let slip that Dave was less that chivalrous. She had agreed not to tell Mikasa, but she had seemed less than thrilled about the entire idea.

“This is a really stupid idea, Eren,” she had said as she placed a puzzle piece in the puzzle we had going on the coffee table. 

“How’d I know you were going to say that?” I had said as I shifted forward on my knees and put together one of the edge pieces on the far end of the table.

“Because you know it’s fucking stupid too.”

“It’s a ton of money and I’ll be rid of him. Honestly I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of him otherwise.”

“You have to keep me posted the entire time, and do not, _do not_ go back to a hotel room with him. Even if he offers you extra, promise me you won’t.”

I had pinky-promised her that I wouldn’t have sex with Dave, which was what she had been getting at. It was adorable that someone who could bench press a small car without breaking a sweat put so much weight into pinky promises.

Levi and I had texted a bit after our meet. He asked about ‘work’ and I told him I was meeting someone on Friday. I never once mentioned the extent of Dave’s assholery to Levi, and leaving out the fact that the meet might not go well felt an awful lot like lying to Levi. I had the feeling as well that if he knew what sort of situation I was getting into he would protest with even more earnestness than even Mikasa would. He had absolutely no problem with voicing what was on his mind. I had sent him a picture of a shirt I was thinking of buying and he had informed me that it was ugliest thing he’d ever laid eyes on. He wasn’t one for sugar-coating things.

At last, the time of the meet arrived. Annie had trailed me around the house the entire time I was getting ready to go. Luckily, Reiner and Bert were on a dinner date so they didn’t witness her antics. She even went into the bathroom while I showered and grilled me on whether I remembered all the self-defense moves she’d taught me.

When I was finally dressed in loose khaki pants, a button-up, and a hoodie, I went to the door of the apartment. Annie leaned against the back of the couch and watched as I slipped my shoes on. 

“Well, this is it,” I said as I twisted the doorknob. “I’ll see you later.”

“Text me.”

“I will; I promised.” I flashed her a grin and left the apartment. 

It was a twenty minute subway ride to the Chinese restaurant where I was meeting Dave. I stuffed my earbuds in my ears and sat at the back of the train. I tried to ignore the overzealous beating of my heart and focus on the game on my phone.

My anxiety died down a bit after the twenty minutes of mindless fun. When I reached the restaurant, I found Dave already there. He was a tall man and annoyingly attractive. Why was it that absolute douche noodles were always attractive? He rose from the table as the hostess brought me over. He greeted me amicably and I smiled. He was all good manners and niceties right now. I honestly was having some trouble reconciling his behavior right now and how he had acted in the hotel room. 

Our conversation didn’t touch upon what had happened during our last meeting, most likely because Dave saw absolutely nothing wrong with his actions, nor did we even discuss the state of our arrangement. We executed the typical routine of working our way through every possible subject of small talk under the sun. Dave coerced me into at least letting him pour me a glass of the white wine he’d ordered. I took a sip of it out of courtesy, but favored my water for most of the dinner. 

When our food arrived, I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom to text Annie. I told her Dave was being very polite and everything was going well. I waited to get a text back from her, which was a single thumbs-up emoji since her texting was just as to-the-point as her conversing, before going back to the table.

Dave smiled as I took my seat across from him. I returned the expression before taking a quick sip of wine and once more digging into the fried rice.

“I want to apologize for that text I sent you earlier in the week,” Dave said.

I looked up at him, my eyes wide with surprise. I honestly hadn’t thought he was going to bother mentioning it. 

“Something came up at work and I took my annoyance out on you. It was rude and unprofessional. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I, thank you,” I stumbled over the words. “I’m really glad you said that.” I flashed him a bright grin. 

“How are you liking the food?” he asked, since we had yet to move into this portion of small talk.

“It’s really good,” I said as I took another bite.

“You got the fried rice last time. Why not get something new?”

“Well, I know I really like this,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not particularly daring when it comes to new food.” I took another sip of the wine.

“You like it?” Dave asked, nodding to the wine glass in my hand.

“I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t drink wine all that much.”

We lapsed into another comfortable bout of conversing. I was quite surprised that I found it comfortable. My nervousness had worn off almost completely by now, though I was still a little on edge for when it came time to brush off going to a hotel with him. 

Dave called for the check about fifteen minutes after we had finished off the food. I took another long sip of wine as he filled out the check. My head was feeling oddly fuzzy. I frowned at the glass and set it back on the table. I picked up the glass of water and took a quick gulp.

“Ready?” Dave asked.

“We should wrap things up here,” I said as he rose. 

“Aren’t we going to a hotel?” he asked quietly with a flirtatious smile.

“'Bout that,” I said. I frowned at the way my words had slurred together. “I can’t go with you.” I started to get out of the booth, but stumbled.

Dave caught me and held me up by the arm.

“Are you alright?”

“I feel woozy,” I groaned. 

“Let’s get you some fresh air.”

I nodded slowly as he helped me out of the restaurant. An alarm bell was going off somewhere in the back of my mind, but the fogginess that was descending on my brain muffled it slightly. I needed to call Annie. I fumbled for my phone in my pocket. As the cool air buffeted my face, my eyes closed and darkness descended. 

* * *

I was lying on something soft. It was comfortable and I pushed my head into the downy mass beneath me. A sudden pressure between my legs made me yelp. My eyes flew open and my vision spun. My stomach clenched and I bit my lip. Where was I? What was going on? A moan escaped my lips as I felt pleasure seep through my groin.

Terror took hold. Memories of the dinner and passing out flooded my mind. I cried out and tried to sit up, but a strong hand gripped my shoulder. I blinked several times to clear my blurred vision. Dave was crouched over me. He was stripped to his waist. My eyes flickered down my body. My shirt was still on, but my pants and briefs were somewhere else entirely. 

“You’re awake,” Dave said in a steely voice as he continued to thrust in fingers in and out of me.

“Son of—“ I snarled. I lashed out with my free hand. My knuckles cracked against his eye socket. 

He gasped in shock and lurched back. I rammed the heel of my bare foot into his crotch. He shouted in pain and fell backward off the bed. I scrambled off the mattress and tripped on something on the floor. I looked back and discovered my discarded clothing. I quickly pulled them on and checked for my phone and wallet. They were both accounted for.

My heart was thundering in my chest; my head was spinning a mile a minute; and I felt like I was going to vomit, but I had to keep it together. I had to get out of here. I buttoned my pants and stumbled toward the door. From the look of the room we were in, it was some seedy motel that obviously didn’t have any qualms about a forty-plus guy bringing in an unconscious kid. 

“You’re not getting out of here,” Dave snarled and a large hand grabbed the back of my neck.

My arm lanced up on instinct. I twisted toward him and wrapped my arm around his. My hand gripped his elbow as I locked his arm in my armpit. My foot snaked behind his. My other hand found his throat and I threw him to the ground. He cried out in surprise more than anything else. I slammed my bare foot down hard on his face and he grunted. I felt the bones of his nose crunch beneath my foot.

I grimaced, but I didn’t have time to feel disgusted. I spun on my heel and sprinted out of the room. I was practically choking on panic. I raced down the hall and threw myself against the door of the stairwell. I ran down the concrete steps and reached the lobby. I slowed my pace to an acceptable speed-walk as I moved through the lobby.

When I reached the main door, I pushed it open. I was emitted into a narrow alley. Fuck, where was I? I ran down the alleyway to the illuminated main street. My bare feet slapped against the concrete and I just had to pray there wasn’t any broken glass on the ground. I ran out onto the sidewalk and kept running. I didn’t recognize anything, but I plowed on. I had to get us much distance between me and that hotel as possible. 

When it finally felt like my lungs were on fire and my legs were trembling too much for me to keep going, I stumbled to a halt and sat down on the curb. I was on an empty side street with only a smattering of working streetlights. Typically this sort of place would creep me out, but honestly anything was better than where I had been. I fished out my phone and quickly made a call. I could feel my blood pounding in my ears as I held the phone to my ear.

“Eren?” Levi’s calming voice emanated through the phone and I let out a choked sigh.

“H-hi,” I stuttered.

“Eren, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I know you said no phone calls,” I sniffled. I pressed my forehead against my knees.

“Eren, what’s going on?” There was a trace of panic in Levi’s usually expressionless voice.

“Could you send a car to pick me up?” I asked. “I don’t have any money for a cab and I need to go home.” The last word broke apart in small sob.

“Eren, where are you right now?” Levi asked. 

“I don’t know.” I looked up and stared down the street. My eyes alighted on a bright store front. “Oh,” I said, “an IHOP.”

“Send me the address,” Levi ordered. “I’ll come get you.”

“It’s okay. You can just send an Uber.” My words blended together as exhaustion and confusion finally caught up to me.

“Send me the address. Go inside the IHOP and get yourself some pancakes.”

“I don’t have any money,” I whined.

“Eren,” Levi said sternly, “I’ll buy you the fucking pancakes.”

“Okay,” I murmured with a small smile. 

“Text me the address while we’re still on the phone. Then I’m going to hang up. I can’t talk and drive, okay?”

“Okay.” I pulled the phone away from my face and opened up my maps app. I found the IHOP where I was and sent Levi the address. “You get it?” 

“Yes, I know where you are. I’ll be there in ten. Go inside, okay Eren?” His voice was filled with concern as he spoke my name and I almost burst into tears. “I’m coming to get you.”

“Mm-hm.”

Levi hung up and I stood up off the curb. I walked over to the IHOP and pulled open the door. A small bell rang quietly as I stepped inside. The hostess took me to a table. She was a kind, older woman and wasn’t at all judgy about my barefoot and slightly delirious state. I ordered a stack of pancakes and water and laid my forehead down on the table. I took out my phone and looked through my notifications. I had six messages and three missed calls from Annie. Her texts were all asking the same thing: _Where are you? Are you OK?_  I groaned and texted her quickly.

**Me  
** _I’m okay. Levi’s coming to get me._

Annie texted back almost immediately, demanding to know what was going on and why I had gone almost an hour without texting her. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it over text, but I was safe and I’d tell her everything tomorrow. 

**Annie  
** _I’m glad you’re safe. Please stay safe._

I smiled and texted her back that I would. I sighed and sat up. A waitress came by with my pancakes and water and set them down in front of me. She asked if I needed anything else, but I only shook my head. I took a sip of water. It slid down my parched throat. I ripped away a small piece of pancake and took a careful bite of it. My stomach had settled, now that it wasn't being wracked with fear. I still felt close to vomiting though. I wasn’t sure if that had to do with whatever Dave had slipped into my drink—let’s face it; he totally fucking drugged me—or the disgust over the situation I had come to in.

“Eren.”

I looked up from my mindless devouring of the stack of pancakes. Levi was hurrying across the restaurant. He was dressed in a black suit, which clung to his slender frame. A crisp white button-up and narrow black tie completely the outfit. His hair was stick-straight and flanked his eyes. He reached the table I sat at and stopped. His eyes were wide as he stared down at me.

“Er—“

I scooted to the edge of the bench and pressed my face against his stomach. He gasped quietly. I wrapped my arms around his small waist and held him close. He reached up and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whispered. 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Levi said as he slid his fingers down my face to my chin. He tipped my head back. "Do you want to finish your pancakes? Or would you like to go?”

"Go."  I released his body from my embrace. 

He stepped back and I stood up. His eyes flickered over my haphazard appearance. His eyebrows twitched slightly when he saw my bare feet. He pressed a hand to the small of back and led me to the counter. He paid for the pancakes and took me out into the parking lot. 

“Is that your car?” I asked with dulled excitement.

“Yes, that’s mine.” He glanced up at me and his lips moved in a small smile.

I stared at the sleek black Porsche that was parked in the middle of the lot. Levi hadn’t even bothered to put it in a space. The thought of him careening into the parking lot and screeching to a halt made me smile. He took me to the passenger side and opened the door for me.

“Watch your head,” he said.

I nodded as I crawled into the seat. My hands brushed the soft leather seat. I shifted in the seat and Levi shut the door behind me. I stared around at the immaculate interior of the car and suddenly felt _very_ dirty in every sense of the word. I slid my arms between my knees and pressed my bare feet against the floor of the car. I tried to make myself as small as possible; maybe I could just vanish entirely. That would be nice.

Levi opened the driver’s door and got in. He flicked on the car and the engine purred quietly. 

“Are you buckled?”

I shook my head as I sat back. He reached across me and pulled the seatbelt across my torso and clicked it in place. 

“Thanks for coming to get to me,” I whispered as I leaned back against the chair with a small sigh. My eyes drifted close. For the first time in several hours I felt truly relaxed.

“Of course,” Levi said.

I felt the car roll out of the parking lot. I curled onto my side, making sure my grungy feet didn’t touch any part of the car and let myself fall asleep.

* * *

“Hey, Eren, wake up.”

Levi’s voice drifted me to through a fog of sleep. I blinked open my eyes. Levi’s face was only a few inches from mine. I glanced down; his hand was gripping mine. I blinked and look back at him.

“We’re here,” he said. He pulled back and got out of the car. 

I watched him walk around the vehicle to my side. We were in a small, underground parking garage. There were only a few other cars present and they were all as nice as his. Levi reached my side of the car and opened the door. I quickly unbuckled and took his hand to let him help me out. I didn’t feel as dizzy anymore, but my legs did feel like jello.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“My place,” Levi said as he rested his hand on my back. He shut the car door and locked the vehicle. He led me over to the elevator and pressed the up button. “I didn’t want to ask for your address in case you weren’t comfortable giving it to me, and I had nowhere else to take you.”

The elevator arrived with a small ‘ding’ and we stepped inside. Mirrors lined the wall of the small car. I blanched as I stared at my reflection. I was shockingly pale beneath my natural tan. My eyes were bloodshot and my hair was a mess. I quickly looked down at the floor and turned away to face the unreflective door.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“For what?” Levi asked as he gazed up at me.

“For you having to come get me and bringing me back to your place.”

“I don’t mind,” he said with a shrug.

The elevator arrived at our destination and the doors rolled open. I gasped as we stepped into Levi’s studio apartment. It was enormous. The open floor plan gave me a view of the living room, kitchen, and dinning room. An open flight of stairs led up to a balcony that ran the length of the left wall. Several doors stood along the wall. The wall across from the door was basically an entire window.

“Whoa,” I whispered.

“It’s a bit much,” Levi said with a small snort. He took me to one of the doors on our right. “This is the bathroom.” He opened the door to reveal a huge room with a shower, bath, and toilet.

“Thanks,” I said as I leaned against the doorframe. 

“I’ll bring you some of Hange’s clothes. They always leave some here. You can shower or whatever. Just don’t fall and crack your skull open.”

“I’m not going to,” I said with a laugh as I gave him a light elbow.

“Good because I do not want to clean that up,” he said with a dry chuckle. “I have some cash in a box on the counter. See where I’m pointing?”

I followed his gaze to the kitchen island counter where small black box stood. I nodded.

“Order yourself some food, or get a cab to take you home. I don’t want you to feel like I’m keeping you here. Just let me know before you go. I’ll write my address down for you to give to the cabbie or the food place, whichever you choose. I have to finish up a work call, so I’ll be in my office, which is over there.” He pointed to the door beneath the stairs. “If you need anything come get me. I’ll leave the clothes outside the door.”

I nodded and stepped into the bathroom. I closed the door quietly behind me. I heard Levi’s footsteps pad away from the door. I sighed and began to strip. A shower sounded absolutely heavenly right now. I walked over to the shower, which stood apart from the bath, and tried to figure out how to turn it on. I finally managed to get it on and to a temperature I liked and stepped under the flow. I released a heavy sigh and pressed my head against the cool tiles on the wall. 

I wasn’t sure how long I had stayed under the water, but my head felt completely clear when I stepped back from the wall. I quickly slathered myself with the body wash that stood in the small alcove in the wall. I rinsed off and turned off the shower. I moved to the rack in the corner and grabbed one of the towels. It was huge and fluffy and I just wanted to wrap myself up in it. I dried myself off and went to the door. I opened it a crack and found a pile of clothes waiting for me. Levi had found a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

I took the clothes and pulled them on. They fit, since Hange and I were about the same size, and were incredibly soft. I dropped the toilet seat and put the folded towel on it. I picked up my clothes and folded them as best I could before putting them on top of the towel.

I left the bathroom and went to the kitchen counter. I opened the box Levi had pointed to and found a small wad of cash. A notepad sat beside it. In a small, tight scrawl was the address of Levi’s apartment. I decided to order pizza. Something hot and greasy would help me start to feel better. I called up Domino’s and ordered a large pizza and a bottle of Coca Cola.

About forty five minutes later, I was seated on the floor in front of Levi’s couch with the pizza box open on the coffee table. I had found a glass to poor the soda into, but I decided to just eat out of the box. I had flicked on the TV as well and tuned it to a cartoon channel. I was playing with my mindless app when the door to Levi’s office opened. I looked up. 

Levi released a yawn as he stretched his arms over his head. He had taken off his suit jacket and tie. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a pale expanse of chest and protruding collar bones.

“Fuck that was boring,” he said as he walked over the couch. “Nice, pizza. Good choice.” He got a plate from the kitchen and sat down on the couch beside me. He grabbed a piece and sat back. “How are you doing?”

“I feel a lot better,” I said as I closed my phone and put it on the floor beside me. I picked up my glass of soda and stared down at it. “Thanks again for coming to get me.”

Levi hummed quietly. He ate about half of his slice before placing it on the plate, which he had balanced on his knee.

“Eren, you had a meet with someone tonight, right?” he said carefully. His eyes remained on the TV screen. 

“Yeah,” I said. I pulled my knees up and propped them against the coffee table.

“We don’t have to talk about what happened if you still don’t want to, but just know I’ll listen,” Levi said quietly. He set the plate down on the coffee table and rested his elbows on his knees.

“Thank you.” I leaned against his leg.

He reached out and carefully stroked my hair. I released a small sigh and closed my eyes. Levi continued to pet my hair as I fell asleep against his leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes eren made a very bad choice going to see dave oh boy yes he did. i feel a little bad about that haha, but this chapter is actually the one that inspired the entire fic so i had to get to this situation somehow.  
> the self defense move eren used you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veges17QZUU


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (edited)

**Levi’s POV**

Erwin was droning on and I was tuning out his voice. This was how I conducted most of the conference calls I was asked to join in on: sitting in the chair beside Erwin, completely ignoring the proceedings unless Erwin prodded me to say something. 

My phone buzzed lightly in my pocket and I frowned. I rarely texted anyone other than Hange and Eren and both were on, well, Hange was on a date, and Eren had a meet-up. I slipped it out and stared at the screen. Eren was calling. Eren was _calling_. My frown deepened. We had agreed no phone calls, but I couldn't imagine this was a butt-dial; Eren was hyperaware of his phone, considering his work was conducted on it.

My heart clenched in my chest. Sweat dampened my palms and a slow tremor wracked my body. I quickly stood up. Erwin glanced up at me. His hands were steepled in front of his face. His large, bushy eyebrows descended in a frown. He glanced at the phone in my hand and nodded. He knew I wouldn’t leave a conference call, especially one with such an important client, unless I had a damn good reason.

I hurried out of the room and answered the phone as soon as the door had clicked shut behind me.

“Eren?” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. Nothing at all could be the matter; I could just be spiraling out like I always did. This could be nothing.

“H-hi.” His voice stuttered through the speaker and I almost dropped to the floor.

I could hear the fear and confusion in his voice all too clearly. I hurried down the hallway and ducked around the corner.

“Eren, what’s wrong?” I asked quietly as I leaned back against the wall. I could feel my heart trying to decimate my sternum.

“I’m sorry. I know you said no phone calls.” He sniffled.

“Eren, what’s going on?” I couldn’t help the tinge of panic that entered my tone. My mind had already rocketed through every worse case scenario. My phone felt slick in my sweaty hand. I slid slowly to the floor and crouched on my heels.

“Could you send a car to pick me up?” Eren asked. The effort he was putting into sounding put-together was painfully apparent. “I don’t have any money for a cab and I need to go home.” The last word broke apart in a small sob.

“Eren, where are you right now?” I asked, trying to assume the same calm that he was striving for. The last thing he needed was for me to fall apart.

“I don’t know.” He paused and then spoke again.“Oh, an IHOP.” The last words were spoken in a completely out-of-it manner. There was something in his system; I could tell, which meant I had to push to keep him focused.

“Send me the address,” I said in a steely voice. “I’ll come get you.”

“It’s okay. You can just send an Uber.” His words slurred together and the last one almost drifted away completely.

“Send me the address,” I intoned. “Go inside the IHOP and get yourself some pancakes.”

“I don’t have any money,” Eren whined.

“Eren,” I said sternly, “I’ll buy you the fucking pancakes.” I wasn't angry at him or even close to annoyed. I hoped it didn't come across that I was. I just had to get him to focus

“Okay.” 

I could hear the smile in his tone.

“Text me the address while we’re still on the phone. Then I’m going to hang up. I can’t talk and drive, okay?” My voice had returned to its typical calm, for which I was grateful. My heart beat had also begun to restore itself to a more productive pace.

“Okay.”

There was a long pause and then my phone buzzed. I pulled it away from my ear and found a text from Eren.

“You get it?”

I looked through the text. He had managed to send me a coherent address. I recognized the area of town he was in and my heart sank to my shoes. Every worse case scenario I had cycled through just became ten times more probable of having occurred. On top of that, Eren was still in danger where he was. A cute boy completely drugged out of his mind would be snatched up in a second in that part of town, and I'd probably never see him again if that happened.

“Yes, I know where you are. I’ll be there in ten. Go inside, okay Eren?” My voice filled with concern and I wanted to kick myself for expressing it. “I’m coming to get you.”

“Mm-hm.”

I ended the call and stood up. I hurried to the men’s room, which stood at the end of the hall and splashed water onto my face. I had to look like I had my shit together when I picked up Eren. I looked up at my reflection. I was paler than even my usual, which reduced me to a shocking shade of translucent. I slapped my cheeks harshly to get color back into them.

I never thought I’d set foot in that neighborhood again. I had gone so far as to promise myself that I wouldn’t. I breathed a slow sigh. I didn’t have much choice now. Eren needed me and I wasn't about to abandon him because I was too much of a pussy to face my past.

I nodded and left the bathroom. When I turned down the hall where the conference room stood, I found Erwin standing outside the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asked. 

“Fine. I have to pick someone up,” I said crisply as I walked past him. “Is the call over?”

“No.”

“What are you doing then? Get back in there.”

“Levi.” Erwin’s hand fell on my shoulder and he stopped me. “Are you alright?”

“I’m…” I began. I knew all too well that I was incapable of lying to Erwin. I shook my head slowly.

“Take care of yourself,” Erwin said, and he let me go.

I hurried out of the office. Erwin knew everything. He knew every little secret I held. He knew every twitch of my facial features and what buried emotions they spoke of. He probably knew where I was going too. I shook my head, even Erwin wasn’t omniscient.

I reached my car and sped out of the parking garage. I had to force myself to stay below the speed limit. The last thing I needed was to be pulled over for speeding and have Eren wait even longer for me. 

I found the IHOP by memory. I had visited it often as a kid with my friends. This neighborhood had been my home several years ago. I knew all its nooks and crannies. _Oh,_ I thought, _I remember that side alley. That was a great place to shoot-up._

I shook my head, dislodging thoughts of the past, and focused on Eren; Eren’s glowing eyes, Eren’s contagious smile; Eren’s quirky sense of humor. My grip on the steering wheel loosened slowly. I pulled into the IHOP parking lot and screeched to a halt, not bother to find a space. I flung open the door and jumped out of it. I locked it out of habit as I hurried to the door. I yanked it open. The hostess opened her mouth to greet me, but I moved past her. 

My eyes had already found him. He was hunched over a plate of pancakes at one of the booths. His hair was a mess. My stomach twisted as one word seeped into my mind: bedhead. I walked slowly up to the table.

“Eren,” I called out to him.

He looked up at me and my heart almost stopped. His eyes were dull; his face ashen. There was no smile on his lips as there had been almost constantly when I had seen him last. His eyes were red-rimmed and I could see dried tracks of tears on his cheeks. I closed the gap between us.

“Er—“

He threw his arms around my waist and yanked me against him. I gasped quietly. My body stiffened reflexively. He rubbed his face against my suit jacket like a puppy. I rested my hand on the top of his hand and gently stroked his hair. _Soft_ , I thought.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly. I knew he wasn’t; how could he be? I had pieced it together by now. I knew that vacant expression all too well. I had seen it in the mirror one too many times for my liking. Between it and the fact that he had had a meet tonight, I knew what had happened. “What happened?” I still asked. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions; maybe I was projecting my own past onto him. I wanted him to refute my dark thoughts. I wanted him to say he had just gotten into a fight with his client, but that nothing more had happened.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered.

I closed my eyes. It had happened. I didn't know the extent or how or where, but he had just confirmed the general idea of it for me. My thumb subconsciously rubbed circles into his scalp as I took a deep, calming breath.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” I said. I slid my fingers down his face and tipped his chin back. "Do you want to finish your pancakes? Or would you like to go?” I met his gaze with an unwavering one. I wouldn’t shy away from the void horror in his eyes.

"Go." 

* * *

** Eren's POV **

I woke with a loud groan. My muscles ached and my stomach clenched. I sat up slowly. I felt a soft mattress shift beneath me. Panic seized me for a blinding moment. I gasped and flailed backward, my feet tangling in a sheet. My back slammed into the headboard. I blinked as sharp gasps left my lips. My mind finally caught up with my awakening body. I remembered where I was.  _Levi_ , I thought gratefully. The room I was in had minimal furnishings and decorations. Everything was in crisp shades of black, white, or steely silver. My eyes alighted on my phone, which was sitting on the bedside table, plugged into a charger. I crawled across the massive bed and picked it up. I had a message from Annie.

** Annie Leonhardt  
** _Good morning, Eren. I hope you are feeling alright. Let me know when you're coming home today._

I called her and brought the phone to my ear. The phone rang several times before Annie answered with a groggy, questioning 'hello'.

"Hey, Annie," I said as I sat back against the padded headboard.

"Eren!" All exhaustion left her voice in a rush. I heard her bed frame squeak as she moved around on it. "Are you--" She cut herself off from the bombardment of questions she had been about to unleash. "Hi," she finally said.

"Hi," I said. 

"Still at Levi's?"

"Yes," I said. "I fell asleep on the couch with him." I smiled at the memory. I could still feel Levi's fingertips making patterns on my scalp.

"Do you..." she began hesitatingly, "want to talk about it?"

"Later," I said with a nod. Now that the drug was out of me completely and I had had a good night's sleep, I felt a lot less panicked and discombobulated. Even the initial panic when I had woken up hadn't left any residual anxiety. "What time is it?"

"Mm, eight-twenty-six," Annie said.

"I'll leave here after breakfast probably," I said. 

"Okay, keep me posted," Annie said. 

"See you later." I ended the call and swung my legs out of bed. I slipped my phone into my pocket and padded to the door.

It opened across the short entry hall from the bathroom that I had used last night. I moved into the main room and looked around. My eyes found Levi almost immediately. He was in the kitchen by the stove. His back was to me. He was dressed in a loose black long-sleeve and gray sweatpants. His right foot was propped on his curled toes and his heel tapped lightly against his calf. It was strange seeing him out of his business casual. I walked over to the island counter.

"Morning," I said as I leaned my arms against the granite.

He glanced over his shoulder and gave me a small nod. He returned his gaze to the eggs he was scrambling.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Really well," I said. "Thanks again for everything you did last night."

"No problem. You can go sit at the table; breakfast is almost ready."

I walked over to the dinning room table, which stood by the windows past the couch. There was no trace of our late night meal. I gazed down at the table in awe. A plate piled high with bacon sat in the middle of the table beside a pitcher of orange juice and one of water. A smaller plate with corn muffins on it sat beside the bacon one. Two places were set. I sat down at one of them. 

"You made all of this?" I asked incredulously as I stared at the luxurious meal.

"Yes," Levi said. 

I looked up. He was padding over to me with a plate of scrambled eggs in his hands. He set it on the table.

"Help yourself." He took the seat across from me and started ladling bacon, eggs, and muffins onto his plate.

"Awesome." I filled up my plate with food and poured a glass of orange juice. I took a sip. "Whoa, this is so good."

"Thanks, I made it myself," Levi said. He filled his own glass with orange juice as well.

"Did you make  _all_ of this?" I asked again, waving at the food between us. I had thought the muffins and orange juice were store bought.

"Yes."

"Jeez, how long did that take?" I said with a shake of my head. I tended to just grab a granola bar and run to my class which typically started about ten minutes after I woke.

"Not long," he said with a shrug. "Maybe two hours."

"Ew, you must have gotten up so early." My face fell suddenly and I gazed forlornly down at my plate. "You didn't do all this for me, right?"

"No," Levi said shortly. "I always make breakfast for myself." 

"Okay," I said with a relieved sigh. The thought of Levi slaving away since six in the morning to make me breakfast filled me with a feeling of guilt.

"How are you feeling?" Levi asked. His tone didn't betray a drop of emotion, but his eyes did flicker to my face and I saw a flicker of concern.

"I'm..." I began with a small frown. "Better," I finally said. "I feel better."   


"I'm glad." Levi's lips twitched in a small smile and he looked back at his food. "My offer still stands: if you want to talk, I'll listen."

"You...already know what happened...don't you?" I asked quietly as I poked randomly at my eggs.

"I have an idea," Levi said in a slow voice.

"I was stupid," I said quietly as I put down my fork. "I fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't have met with him, but he was threatening me and he said that this would be the last meeting and then he'd leave me alone, and then I let him pour me wine, and ugh." I clapped my hands over my face. "I'm so stupid. I left my glass there when I went to the bathroom and then I drank more from it. God, how fucking stupid can I be?"

"It's not your fault," Levi said sternly. "Maybe you shouldn't have left your drink unattended; maybe you shouldn't have had more after you came back, but none of that matters. The fact of the matter is there never should have been a drug in your drink. He never should have put it there. His actions and his alone were the reason you ended up in that situation. None of it was your fault, okay Eren?"

"It doesn't feel that way," I said quietly. "I mean, I  _chose_ to meet him."

"It's not going to feel that way for while," Levi said with a shrug. "You're going to beat yourself up for a while about it, believe me, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this was your fault."

Something about the way that Levi bid me to believe him resonated in me. He spoke with such a familiarity that the sensation that he was speaking from personal experience creeped over me. With this in mind, the floodgates suddenly opened.

"He took me back to a hotel," I whispered. "I woke up and he was on top of me and his fingers were inside of me." I felt tears roll down my cheeks, but I didn't move. "I punched him and kicked him in the dick. I got my stuff and tried to get out of there, but he grabbed me. My roommate taught me self-defense moves and I used one of them and got away from him. Then I ran. I was so scared and everything was so dark and unfamiliar, but then I couldn't run anymore so I called you." I blinked slowly as my words died away. 

"Can I hug you?" Levi asked quietly.

I nodded. Levi stood up. He walked around the table. He gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders and brought my head against his hip. I sighed and my hand wrapped around his forearm. I closed my eyes. 

"Thanks for coming to get me," I whispered.

"Always," he said just as quietly. "I'll always come get you."

"Why are you so nice to me?" I asked. "You barely know me."

"So?" Levi asked. "I don't have to know you that well to know that you're an amazing kid. You're smart; you're funny; you're not half-bad looking."

I snorted quietly. I shifted my head so I could look up at him. His lips quirked in a half smile as he stared down at me.

"Thanks, Levi."

He nodded.

"I told my roommate I'd come home after breakfast."

"Then why don't you eat something?" Levi said. He dropped his arms to his side and walked back to his seat. "I put your clothes through the laundry, so you can change before you leave.  I can drive you to the subway station."

"You can drive me home," I said with shrug. I stared down at my plate as I took a small bite of eggs. "I don't mind." I knew that Levi was trying to give me space and privacy since we were still relative strangers. "As long as you don't have anything else to do."

"Okay," Levi said with a nod. "I'll drive you home."

* * *

Levi dropped me off in front of my apartment. He had kept going on about how he could take me within a few blocks and then get out, but I had finally convinced him that I was perfectly fine with him knowing where I lived. I crouched down by the window and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks for the ride."

"No problem," he said. "I have a work thing next Saturday. We're allowed to bring a guest." His eyes flickered between me and the console as he spoke, and I could have sworn a soft blush rose in cheeks. "Would you like to come?"

"Ooh, is it going to be fancy?" I asked as I dropped my hands to my knees and grinned at him through the window.

"Yes, very fancy," he said with a derisive chuckle.

"Hm, I don't actually have nice clothes," I said with a frown.

"We can go shopping for some this week if you want." Levi twisted his hands around the steering wheel.

"Okay! That would be great. Just text me."

"Alright," Levi said with a nod.

"Bye, Levi!" 

He nodded and rolled up the window as he pulled away from the curb. I let out a small sigh and turned around. I stared up at the apartment building. I was by no means dreading seeing Annie. She had always been a source of comfort for me, but I was a little worried that she wouldn't be as understanding as Levi about the whole blame thing.

I shouldn't have thought so little of her. When we sat down in the living room together--Reiner and Bert were out having breakfast--I told her everything. She listened closely and nodded as she absorbed it all. I admitted to feeling some guilt about the whole thing, but she quashed it with a firm shake of her head and stern word.

"None of this is your fault; it's all that dickhead's." Her fists tightened as she spoke. She didn't elaborate further like Levi, but that wasn't surprising considering this was the queen of few words.

We sat in silence for some time. I didn't know what else to say on the matter, and neither did she. Finally, though, she did speak.

"Do I need to beat him up?"

I laughed and dropped my head against her shoulder.

"That's okay," I said. "I just hope this is all over."

"If it's not, you should go to the police. Not about what happened if you don't want to," she added, "but just get a restraining order for stalking or something like that."

"Isn't that shit complicated?" I said with a sigh.

"Yeah," she said. "It can take a while to work through, but if you get it filed, then he won't be able to come near you or text you or anything."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about," I said with a frown.

"I do. I filed one against my dad when I was in high school."

"Seriously?" I sat up and gaped at her. 

"Seriously," she said. She threw her arms over the back of the couch. "He was controlling and manipulative and made it seem like everyone was out to get me.  It got really bad my senior year of high school, so I filed a restraining order and moved in with Reiner. It was shitty and scary because he's my dad, but I'm glad I did it. So if you want help with that, just let me know."

"Thanks, Annie. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," she said.

"Do you have plans today?" 

"No."

"Can we play video games and order take out?" I asked. I looked up at her with a hopeful smile.

"Of course, we can." She patted my knee and stood up. "What do you want to eat?"

"Can we have sushi? And we can order later? I just had a big breakfast"

"Alright, I'm going to grab something to snack on; I haven't eaten yet. You set up the game you wanna play."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (edited)  
> thank you for the lovely comments! it means so much to hear that i'm doing a good job characterizing people. that's like the best compliment a fanfic writer can get!! also i'm making plans for the smut chapters soooo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Eren’s POV**

“Eren, is something wrong?” Mikasa asked.

“What?” I looked up from my phone. 

I was at the dorm for my weekly dinner and movies with Armin and Mikasa. Jean was at the library cramming for a midterm so he wasn’t there to entertain and/or annoy me. I found Mikasa’s gaze. Her gray eyes were staring at me intently and a small frown creased her forehead.

“You seem a bit out of it,” Mikasa said.

“Oh,” I said.“It’s just my dad. I haven’t heard from him since he left for that interview.” It had been almost a week since my father had shown up, snatched my cash, and left the city for his interview at the hospital. 

I wasn’t even lying to Mikasa when I said that that was what was bothering me. I hadn’t brushed off what had happened to me over the weekend, but I had put it in its place in the back of the mind. I hadn’t heard from Dave, so it wasn’t being thrust in my face constantly. Annie and Levi were the only ones who knew about what had happened. Levi didn’t bring it up in our texts. Annie would ask every once and a while how I was doing, but she took me at my word when I said I was fine, as she should since I wasn't actually all too torn up about it. Yeah, it was horrible and sucked and I felt icky thinking about it, but it wasn't eating away at me. I had Levi and Annie to thank for that. They had nipped in the bud any self-blame that would have otherwise manifested and made the whole ordeal agonizing. 

“Have you texted him?” Armin asked. He always asked the obvious but practical questions like this.

“No,” I admitted. “He said he’d be in touch.”

“How ‘bout you text him if you’re worried,” Armin said. He stood up from the coffee table that served as our dinning room table in the dorm room and took his plate over to the fridge. He set it on top, where we left our dirty dishes to take them back to the dinning hall. He pulled a soda out of the fridge. “If you don’t want to text him, then you should let it be.”

“Ugh, why are you always so logical?” I said. 

"I have to overcompensate for you," he said with a laugh.

I flipped him off and typed out a quick text to my dad. 

“How’s everything else going?” Mikasa asked. She was asking about the sugaring in as cautious a way as possible. Last time she had asked about it, I had yelled at her because she had pushed too many buttons. I knew she was just concerned about me, but sometimes she took it too far. I also knew that her over-the-top concern was a manifestation of her anxiety that she would lose the people she loved. Okay, Armin had been the one who had explained that to me; I hadn’t just fished it out of my ass. It made sense though. Mikasa had lost her mom and dad when we were in elementary school. She had been shuffled through the foster system, but luckily hadn't been moved outside our school district, so we still went to school with her through high school. She, Armin, and I had always had plans to go to Trost College together. Armin could have probably gotten into an even better school, but he wanted to stay close to home to be with his grandfather. 

“Eh, not great. I’m down to only two clients right now,” I said.

“Nudes guy?” Armin asked.

“Yeah, and another guy.” 

Levi and a guy name Sawyer who lived a few states over were my only two arrangements right now. Sawyer and I had never met and he only asked for nudes or a couple GIFs of me jerking off every once and a while, which was why I hadn’t dropped him yet. He couldn't hurt me or take advantage of me over the internet. He could release my nudes, but I never put my face in them, so no one could know it was me.

“Who’s the other guy?” Mikasa asked. Her tone was hesitant; she was probably worried I was going to bite her head off again. 

“This guy named Levi. Turns out his friend put him on the site because he lost a bet. We’re friends now actually.” I smiled. “He sends money my way sometimes, but we don’t do anything sexual.”

“Levi,” Mikasa murmured quietly as if she were testing out the name.

“Have you met him yet?” Armin asked as he sat down beside me again.

“Yeah, we met last week actually,” I said excitedly. “He’s super nice. I also met his friend, Hange. They’re the one he lost the bet to. They were both really cool.”

“But it’s only two guys?” Armin said with a worried furrow of his brow. He knew how badly I needed the money.

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “The others got too hard to handle. Maybe if Dad lands a job, only two arrangements will be able to sustain me.” This was assuming my dad would help me get back on my feet with the money he earned.

“How has the application process for the scholarship been going?” Mikasa asked.

“Not great. I keep getting roadblocked by bureaucracy and my grades aren’t good enough yet.”

“You just need to get Calculus up and then you’ll be all set, right?” Armin said. “I can keep helping you with that if you like.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I also entered this art contest that has a good cash prize.” The contest was open to the whole college and you could submit any form of media you liked. My best pieces were sculptures and I had submitted the best of the best that I had. Honestly I had pretty high hopes of winning, but I hated the idea of being disappointed so I tried to suppress those hopes as best I could. 

“What does Levi do for work?” Mikasa asked.

“Oh, he does marketing or something. He said it was boring,” I said with a laugh. “Why?” I asked. “You have that thinking face on.” I laughed again. 

When Mikasa thought really hard about something, her face would scrunch up. It was an adorable contrast to her usual, taciturn expression. She blushed and tucked her chin into her scarf.

“It’s nothing. I just think I’ve heard the name before somewhere,” she said. 

“Weird. It’s not that common,” I said. “Oh! Armin! Did you get that internship you applied for? You should have heard by now, right?”

“I did and I got it!” Armin said excitedly. His face little up and he grinned broadly. “I only heard today so I was going to tell you tonight.”

“Nice job.” I gave him a high-five. 

We finished up dinner and watched _Pacific Rim_ before calling it a night. Usually we could go for two or three movies since none of us had Thursday morning classes, but I was pretty drained and Mikasa had a paper to write due Friday. I left the dormitory and returned by foot to my apartment, which was only a few blocks from the college.

Reiner greeted me in the kitchen with a boisterous ‘hey!’. I didn’t know how he managed to be so lively at one in the morning. He was dressed in only sweats and his short blond hair was a mess. I could spot bedhead from a mile away. It was a little awkward that I could sometimes hear him and Bert having sex, but I always ignored it as best I could. I gave him a quick ‘hi’, grabbed my pint of ice cream from the fridge, and headed for my room. He called after me.

“Hey, Eren.”

I looked back.

“Yeah?”

“Annie said you had a rough weekend. She didn’t mention the details of course, but I just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing.” He capped the two-liter soda he had been drinking straight out of and put it in the fridge.

“Thanks,” I said with a small smile. “I’m doing pretty good actually.”

“Great.” Reiner walked after me into the hallway. “I’m glad to hear it.” He clapped me on the shoulder before going into his room. 

I heard Bert ask if I was back. Reiner told him I was as he closed the door. I could only hear muffled voices after that. I walked down the hall. My bedroom was at the end of it. Annie’s door was closed and the lights were off so I didn’t stop to say hi. 

When I reached my room, I crawled into bed and flicked open my laptop. I turned on a mindless TV show to watch while I ate the rest of my ice cream. As I finished up, I got a text from Levi.

**Levi**  
_Are you free tomorrow to go suit shopping? My morning meetings got cancelled so I’m free until the evening._

**Me** _  
Yeah! I don’t have my studio art class until 4 _

**Levi**  
_Why are you awake?_

**Me**  
_It’s only one and you do know I’m in college right? We’re supposed to stay up late lol_

**Levi**  
_You should sleep. I can pick you up at your apartment tomorrow around 9 if you want._

**Me**  
_Ew so early_

**Levi**  
_That’s why you should go to bed now_

** Me  
** _ Fine fine good night _

** Levi  
** _ Night _

I smiled. I put my phone on do-not-disturb and set an alarm. I plugged it into the charger and got ready for bed. I had trouble falling asleep since I was so excited about tomorrow. I didn’t even feel nervous about seeing Levi again despite what had happened on Friday. He had been so supportive of me that I didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed around him. I finally managed to settle my thoughts enough that I could fall asleep.

I woke to the blaring of my alarm. I groaned loudly and pulled my phone off the bedside table. I shut it off and blinked blearily. Sunlight shone through my windows since I couldn’t even afford curtains. Because of this, my eyes weren’t assaulted by the brightness of my screen. I peered down at it and found a text from Levi.

**Levi**  
_Would you mind meeting me at my office? I have something I need to take care of. The address is 35 West Colton Street. Text me when you get this._

The time stamp was only an hour ago. I shot him a quick reply, saying that I had just woken up and could meet him there at nine. He replied with a short ‘k’ probably because he was in a meeting or whatever it was that was holding him up.

I crawled out of bed and dragged myself to the shower. Once I had finished with my morning routine, which I could perform even in a zombified state of exhaustion, I got dressed. I picked out a pair of tight, light wash jeans, a t-shirt, hoodie, and scarf. The bruising around my neck had healed last week, but I found the scarf completed the look. 

Reiner, Bert, and Annie were all gone by now. They had early classes Thursday. I grabbed a granola bar on the way out to tide me over. I routed the way to Levi’s office on my phone. It was about fifteen minutes away by subway.

I emerged from the subway station on West Colton Street and followed the GPS down the street to Levi’s office. It was an expansive building with a glass front. Above the doorway the company’s name was emblazoned in gold lettering: Survey Corps.. I had never heard of it before, which wasn’t surprising considering it was a marketing company. I pushed open the door and walked over to one of the couches that lined the wall in the lobby. There was a counter at the far end of the entry hall, manned by a security guard but I didn’t feel like bothering him. I texted Levi that I was here and sat down on the couch. My phone buzzed a minute later.

**Levi**  
_Come on up. Fifth floor. Gunther will call an elevator for you._

I got up from the couch and walked over to the security desk where the dark-haired guard sat. Beyond the counter were the elevators. He looked up from his phone and smiled.

“Are you Eren?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Levi said you can go up.” He pushed a button behind his desk and one of the elevators dinged and the doors slid open.

“Thanks.” I went to the elevator and stepped inside. I pressed the button for the fifth floor.

The door slid shut and the elevator began to ascend. I pushed my hands into my pockets. I was beginning to feel a touch nervous. This Survey Corps. company was incredibly fancy. I wished I had thought to dress up a bit, instead of opting for clothes that would be comfortable changing in and out of repeatedly.

The doors slid open with a soft ding. I stepped out onto the fifth floor. I had been expecting a huge space filled with cubicles. I got the huge space, but it was completely open. It had a modern flare to the design and a white, blue, and black color scheme. It reminded me a lot of Levi’s apartment. I gazed around in search of Levi. The room was filled with people hustling and bustling about. 

I caught sight of Levi walking down the aisle between the wall and the line of desks. He was walking in stride with a huge blond man. Honestly the man looked like he had walked off the pages of a superhero comic. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored suite. His blond hair was slicked back from his aggressively attractive face. He was smiling as he looked down at Levi.

Levi was saying something. His face was open and an evident smile played over his mouth. He was gazing up at the man. The man laughed at what he said and Levi gave a small chuckle. I couldn’t hear him over the purr of conversation that filled the room, but I saw his slender shoulders shake with the noise and his eyes crinkle up.

The man patted him gently on the back and waved to him as he ducked down the hallway. Levi waved as well. When the man had vanished, his face instantly dropped to its usual, bland mask. Something tugged inside my chest. I bit my lip and pushed my hands into my pockets. I couldn’t quite put a name to the feeling that was blossoming in my chest. It had the dark, prickling sensation of envy, but there was something else rooted in it. In all, I found myself greatly disliking the blond guy. Levi looked up as he approached the elevators and his eyes fell on me. He raised his hand in a brief greeting. He was dressed in black slacks and dark button-up shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, revealing the strong sinews of his forearms.

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh, no worries,” I said, quickly pushing a smile onto my face. 

“Ever gone suit shopping before?” he asked as he pressed the button to call the elevator.

The one I had just gotten out of opened and we stepped inside. 

“Ah, no, I haven’t,” I said.

“It’s a bit of a long process, but it’ll be fun,” he said. He pressed the button for one of the garage levels. “How are you doing?” His eyes were on the chrome elevator doors as he spoke.

“I’m alright,” I said with a slow nod. My annoyance over that blond hunk was slowly dissipating in favor of the comfort being around Levi elicited.

"Alright is good," he said.

We took Levi's car downtown to his tailor. He was right that it took forever navigating the whole process, but it was incredibly entertaining. Levi made me try on a whole slew of cuts and styles and I put on a mini fashion show for him. Like he had been that time I sent him a picture of a shirt I was thinking of buying, he was brutally honest with whether or not the suit looked good. I tried on a handful of garish ensembles just to see how he would react. When I came out in a paisley suit, he buried his face in his hands and his shoulders shook with laughter.

Once we had finally picked out a good color and cut for me, the tailor took my measurements. The overall price rang to something so high that I almost fainted, but Levi paid for it without batting an eyelash.

"Having a good suit is a lifetime investment," he had explained when I had tried to protest.

He took me out to lunch afterwards, which consisted of frozen yogurt since I told him I wasn't in the mood for 'real' food. He had sullenly agreed, though he had mumbled something about me not getting enough nutrition. Overall it was one of the more enjoyable days I had had in a while. Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging out with Annie, Armin, and Mikasa, but there was something so refreshing about being with Levi. We lost track of time eating our frozen yogurt and Levi ended up driving me back to school. The idea of pulling up in a Porsche to my art class was a little embarrassing, but I didn't have much in the way of an alternative option. My professor, Hannes, was a stickler for punctuality. He wasn't a stickler for much else though which made his art class more enjoyable than the others I had taken at the college thus far.

"Thanks for the ride," I said as I climbed out of the car, "and the suit, and the whole day." I grinned.

"You're welcome," Levi said with a small chuckle. "I'll pick you up for the party tomorrow at seven."

"Cool, see you then."

"Also," Levi said. His brow crinkled. "Would you like me to pay you for your time today and tomorrow?"

"Oh." I stared at him. I honestly hadn't thought of that at all. My heart suddenly clenched. I stared down at the sidewalk. I didn't  _want_ to go with him in a professional setting. I wanted to go as friends. The thought terrified me. The only reason Levi and I had met was because of the arrangement website. Would Levi even want to function outside of an arrangement? The fact that he asked made me feel like maybe there was a chance that he might. "Could, could we go as...not as part of an arrangement?" I asked. I glanced up at him. I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"Yeah, works with me." His lips twitched slightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, and don't forget to be home at around one to sign for the delivery of the suit."

"I won't. Forget, that is." I smiled and waved.

Levi nodded and pulled away from the curb. I released a small sigh as I straightened. The anxiety that had been taking root vanished completely. He actually wanted to be friends. The thought made me giddy with excitement. He was a cool guy and hanging out with him felt so comfortable and natural, and now that we had stepped a little outside the bounds of an arrangement I felt a lot lighter. I grinned as I hurried across the courtyard and ran up the steps of the art building. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me?? ending a chapter without something bad happening??? that is unheard of!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren's project is a clay version of this: http://toxzen.tumblr.com/post/145462489562

**Eren’s POV**

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. It was Friday evening and I had nothing do except wait. Armin and Mikasa had gone to the movies to see the most recent X-Men. They had offered to pay for me, since that was the reason I couldn’t go, but I had declined. I hated the feeling of owing people and I had met my quota of ‘owing’ when Levi had bought me that ridiculously expensive suite. Reiner, Bert, and Annie were having an in-house movie night, but I was just too excited to sit through that. Instead, I decided to go the art studio and work on my end of term project. 

Professor Hannes was a charcoal guy himself, but he didn’t force his students to adhere to a certain media. This meant that for the final project we were left to our own devices. My devices always favored clay. I loved dipping my hands into the cold, malleable substance and creating something with it. Right now I was working on a project I had tentatively and cliche-ly named ‘Fallen Angel’. It featured a winged person crouched on the ground, their wings splayed out at their sides. Their hands were tangled in their hair. It was about the size of my torso, the largest piece I had done in clay. My art style didn’t consist of smooth planes like most sculptures. I made everything rough and dragged my fingernails through the material to evoke the agony of the subject. For whatever reason, the subject's hair was in an undercut, just like Levi's.

I spent several hours on the piece Friday night, until the janitor came around and sheepishly told me I had to go. He hated kicking students out of the studio, but I assured him it was no big deal. As I walked home from the studio, I checked my phone. I still hadn’t heard from my father. I was getting a touch worry. What if he was dead in a hotel room somewhere from alcohol poisoning? I doubted I was his emergency contact so if anything happened to him, would I even find out?

I shook my head. My ability to worse-case-scenario everything was truly award-winning. He was probably fine and was just ignoring me for whatever reason. I found a shred of solace in this, though it wasn’t particularly heart-warming to think that my own father didn’t much care about me.

Not that this was a surprise. I knew my father regarded me with a certain level of animosity. He had to find a focus for his blame and loathing. I was one of his targets. The other was the debt-collectors who had come to our home repeatedly to squeeze money out of him. He was a gambling addict. That had lost him his job and had bankrupted our family. It hadn’t helped that during that time my mother had been sick. Insurance covered most of her treatments, but we sometimes had to dip into our savings. She always stopped him from taking out of my college fund even when we had no other money at our disposal. It was because of this that he had gotten in deeper and deeper with the city’s loan sharks, and why I was a said target. I didn’t blame him of course. If I had known what was going on, I would have asked them a long time before it got really bad to use my college savings fund. In a last ditch effort my father did withdraw from the fund without my mother’s knowledge in order to pay for a clinical trial. No one had high hopes that the trial would save her, but it was the only option at that point. It was also incredibly expensive and insurance didn’t cover it. That all went down my freshman year, and was why I could no longer afford college without going to extreme lengths.

When I reached the door of my apartment, I pushed aside these gloomy thoughts. I could hear the sound of the TV, so I put on a grin as I walked in. I gave my roommates a cheery hello and sat with them for while before finally calling it a night.

I let myself sleep in late the next morning to kill time before my suit was delivered. I woke up around eleven thirty, confused and disorientated, as usual when I slept late. I rolled out of bed and grabbed my towel. Unfortunately, Bert was using the shower so I had to wait a while to use my go-to wake up method. I went to the kitchen to find Annie making pancakes. 

“Hey,” she said. “Want some?” She expertly flipped the pancake on the skillet while staring at me. 

“Yeah, thanks,” I said groggily. I dawdled around in the kitchen until I heard Bert leave the bathroom and then went to shower.

When I came back, Annie had set the table for brunch. It wasn’t as lavish an affair as Levi’s breakfast last Saturday had been. Annie could only cook one thing and that was pancakes. Bert joined us as well. Reiner was already at work at the cafe. 

After brunch, we took to playing video games together. It was atypical for Bert to be around on the weekend so usually it would just be me and Annie playing, but today he didn’t have to go into the lab. 

The sound of the doorbell reminded me what I was killing time for. I had gotten so caught up in erradicating my roommates in Mario Cart that I had forgotten about the delivery I was expecting.

“Ooh, that’s for me!” I said excitedly as I abandoned the game and ran toward the front door. I pulled it open and accepted the clothing bag from the delivery man. I signed for it and closed the door.

“What you get?” Annie asked as I returned to the living room. They hadn’t bothered to pause the game, instead opting to leave me in the dust on the course.

“Levi got me a suit,” I said. “I’m going to a party with him tonight.”

“Nice,” Annie said. She wasn’t entirely paying attention. Her brows were wrinkled in concentration as his thumbs darted over the controller.

I went to my room to try on the suit and to text Levi. When I had put on the ensemble, I debated whether or not to send Levi a picture as I assessed myself in the full length mirror that hung on the back of the door. I looked damn good in it and it fit perfectly, but I wanted to surprise him with this fact when I saw him in person.

There was a knock on my door and I welcomed in whoever was there. I backed away from the door so I wouldn’t get clocked in the face.

“Damn, Eren, look at you,” Annie said as she stepped inside. 

“Thanks,” I said with a grin.

“So, what’s this party you’re going to?” Annie asked. She went to my bed and dropped onto. 

I sat down on it, carefully not to wrinkle the suit.

“It’s for Levi’s work, I think,” I said. “I’m not sure about the details actually.” I shrugged.

“This Levi guy is cool, right? He won’t push the arrangement past platonic?”

“We’re actually not going together as part of an arrangement,” I said. I beamed at her. “We’re going as friends.”

“That’s great,” Annie said with a smile. 

“Yeah, I’m really excited. I was worried he wouldn’t want to go as friends, but I think he actually wants to hang out with me regardless of the arrangement that started things.”

“Cool,” Annie said, and she meant it. As I’ve said though, she just wasn’t much for words. “What time are you going?”

“Levi is picking me up here at seven.”

“Do you wanna go to the mall before then with me? I have to buy some new sports bras.”

“Sure, lemme just change first.”

“We can also grab an early dinner there if you want.”

“Ooh, let’s do conveyor belt sushi!”

“Sure, we can do that,” Annie said with a small smile.

* * *

“So, how do I look?” I asked anxiously. Annie and I had returned from the mall about an hour ago. Bert hadn't joined us, opting instead to visit Reiner at the cafe and do some school work. I had spent that entire time getting ready. I stood in front of Annie, who was sitting on the living room couch.

“You already know I think you look great,” Annie said with a small chuckle. “Why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t know,” I said sheepishly as I ran my hand through my hair. “I’ve just never been to a fancy dinner party thing before.”

“Didn't your dad go to hospital benefits and the like?”

“Yeah, but he only ever went with my mom.” I leaned against the arm of the couch and sighed slowly. 

Levi was due to arrive any minute now. I was practically vibrating with excitement I wanted to see him so badly. The few times I had seen him, he had been in business attire, but I was looking forward to seeing him in full-blown formal wear.

“Speaking of your dad, have you heard from him?” Annie asked. Mikasa must have told her that I had been waiting to hear from him.

“No, I haven’t,” I said. “I’m a little worried.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Annie said. She patted my knee reassuringly.

At that moment, my phone buzzed. I jumped off the arm of the couch and fumbled around in my pocket for it. I yanked it out.

**Levi**  
_I’m downstairs._

“He’s here!” I scrambled around for my wallet and keys. 

Annie watched my frantic last-minute-getting-ready with a bemused smile on her face. I finally reached the door and slipped on the shoes that Levi had gotten me along with the suit.

“Alright, I’ll see you later,” I said as I glanced at her over my shoulder.

“Have fun.” She waved and turned back to the TV. "Text me."

"I know." I flashed her a grin. 

I left the apartment and went to the stairs. The elevator was out of order, but luckily we were on the second floor. I descended slowly. I didn’t want to get sweaty and gross from sprinting down the stairs. I also had to play it cool, you know?

I reached the main door of the apartment building and pushed it open. A crisp autumn breeze buffeted my face. My eyes found Levi immediately. He was leaning back against his Porsche. He was dressed in a sharp black suite. His dark hair was slicked back from his face. His porcelain skin contrasted starkly with the deep shade of the fabric. He looked up at the sound of the apartment door closing behind me.

“Hi," I said. I knew I was blushing fiercely as I descended the stairs. I stopped a few paces away from.

His eyes flickered up and down my figure. His lips twitched slightly.

“It fits,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said. I tugged at the sleeves. I wanted to melt into the ground, in a good way. Having him look me up and down was both embarrassing and exhilarating. 

“It looks really good on you.” He turned toward the car and pulled open the passenger door for me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, both for the compliment and for his opening the door for me. I stepped into the car and settled against the seat. I felt considerably more like I belonged in the car now than I had the last time I had been in it.

Levi shut the door behind me and walked around to his side. He slipped into the driver’s seat and started the car engine. It purred to life and we pulled away from the curb. We struck up idle small talk on the ride over to the hotel where the party was being held. Hotel Sina was the most luxurious establishment in the city. I was honestly a little nervous about entering it, which felt so incredibly lame. Levi seemed to sense I was a touch on edge.

“We’re just going for the after dinner schmoozing,” he said in a reassuring voice. “We can stay for a long as you like. Erwin already knows that I hate these sort of things so he doesn’t mind if I cut out early.”

“Okay, cool,” I said quietly. 

“Hange will be their with their partner, Petra, so there will be someone else you know. If I have to go chat up any clients, I’ll leave you with them so you don’t have to endure that.”

“Thanks.” I smiled. 

He seemed to have thought of all the ways to make me most comfortable at the party and that filled me with a sense of warmth.

Levi pulled up in the hotel’s driveway and climbed out of the car. A valet came to my door and opened it for me. I clambered out and glanced around. Levi was giving very specific, borderline anal instructions to the valet that was taking his car. I stifled a snicker. He was a good foot shorter than the other man, but looked incredibly intimidating as he directed the valet on exactly how to park the car.

“Jeez, you really like your car,” I said with a laugh as he finally walked over to me. 

“It’s a damn expensive car,” Levi said. “I don’t want it getting banged up because some dumb brat crams it in the corner of the parking garage.”

I only laughed quietly. We walked together into the main lobby of the hotel. To say I was floored by the grandeur of the establishment was an understatement. An expanse of marble floor, carpeted down the middle with a deep green rug, lay out before as. Columns of dark stone, accented with gold leafing flanked the carpet. An imposing concierge desk stood off to one side. Levi led the way down the hall to the flight of stairs that ascended to the balcony that surrounded the room. I trailed after him. Even in my expensive suit I felt completely out of place.

“It’s a bit over the top,” Levi said. “The staff is a bit stuck up too. You’d think they shit gold. They certainly act like they do.”

I laughed. His dirty sense of humor always had a way of putting me at ease. I took a deep breath as we reached the huge double doors at one end of the balcony. Two hotel staff members opened the doors for us. We walked into an expansive ballroom. Tall tables dressed in white table cloths were sprinkled around the room. A bar stood in one corner. In another was a string quartet. The room was packed with people dressed in their finest attire. 

Levi cut straight across the room and I hurried to keep up. For such a short man, he was very speedy. We were headed toward the bar where, I realized, Hange and, I assumed their partner since Hange had an arm around her waist, Petra stood.

“Levi, you made it,” Hange said excitedly when they spotted Levi. “Ooh, Eren, don’t you look classy.”

“Hey,” I said.

Levi’s form of a greeting was an eye roll. When he reached the bar, he asked for a glass of seltzer water.

“Would you like anything?” he asked. “You’re legal, right?”

“Yes,” I scoffed indignantly. I glanced over at Hange and Petra and flushed in embarrassment. “I’m twenty-two. You know that.”

“So, you want anything?” Levi asked. A small smirk played on his lips. He took the glass from the bartender.

“Um, can I have an orange soda?” I asked sheepishly. I rubbed the back of my neck. I knew my choice of beverage belied my indignant declaration of my age, but I didn't like alcohol. 

Hange and Petra giggled quietly. 

“Do you have orange soda?” Levi asked the bartender.

“No, we have Coca Cola,” the man said. He sounded like he had been asked to serve liquid shit, which I guess was just shit.

“I’ll take that,” I said. I was blushing all the way to the roots of my hair now.

The man prepared the drink for me. I said ‘prepared’ even though it was just a freaking soda because he made such a grand show of things. He finally placed the glass on the counter and I took it. I sipped on it through the small straw.

“I’m Petra by the way,” Hange’s partner said. She was small, about the same size as Levi, with shocking red hair and large brown eyes. She smiled as she held her hand out to me.

“Eren,” I said quickly. 

“Ah, so you’re the product of Levi’s lost bet,” Petra said with a laugh as she shook my hand.

“That’s me,” I said.

“I feel a bit responsible for all of this,” Petra said cheerfully. “I hope you haven’t felt inconvenienced by Levi.”

“He gets paid. How could it be an inconvenience?” Levi shot at her. His dark eyes were scanning the crowd around us.

I flushed brightly and stared down at my shoes. Technically I wasn’t getting paid tonight, I wanted to point out, but there was a lump growing in my throat.

“Levi,” Hange admonished, “just because you hate these sort of events doesn’t mean you can act like a pissy bitch.”

Petra snickered at their comment and even I cracked a smile. Levi cast Hange a sheepish scowl. 

“I’m going to find Erwin,” he said. “I’ll be right back.” He glanced up at me.

“Sure,” I said with a shrug. I hated how much his offhand comment had upset me, but I didn’t want it to show.

He nodded and walked into the crowd. I moved to the bar and leaned back against it.

“Just ignore him when he says shit like that,” Hange advised. “He doesn’t mean it. He just has incredibly bad social anxiety and turns into a bit of a bitch when he’s at events like this.”

“Okay,” I said as I stirred the ice in my glass with the straw. 

My eyes had followed Levi through the crowd. He hadn’t gone very far. He had found the blond guy from the other day by one of the tables. When Levi reached the table, the man the blond had been talking to left. I assumed the man remaining at the table was Erwin since that was who Levi had been looking for. A knot grew in my stomach as I saw Levi’s face break into a smile as he stared up at the other male.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

Hange followed my gaze to the table Levi was by.

“That’s Erwin, Levi’s boss.”

“Oh,” I said as I continued to watch Levi chat it up with the guy.

“He’s kind of like Levi’s benefactor as well,” Hange said. 

“What does that mean?” I asked as I glanced over at Hange.

“Levi doesn't have any family and he was having a really hard go of things a couple years back. Erwin basically scooped him up off the street and gave him a job and let him stay at his place until Levi got back on his feet,” Hange explained.

“Do you work at Survey Corps. too?” I asked.

“Oh, no,” Hange said with a laugh. “Petra does.”

“I’m on the same marketing team as Levi,” Petra said.

“Levi and I went to high school together. We fell out of touch after I went to college and he, well, he didn’t. We met up again a few years ago when Levi first started working at Survey Corps.. Petra and I went to college together.”

“Oh, cool,” I said. My eyes traveled back to the table where Levi and Erwin had been standing at, but I found them gone.

“Levi, are you keeping Erwin from work?” Hange admonished with a laugh.

I glanced around and found the pair moving through the crowd toward us. Levi scowled at Hange as he came up to us. He went to the bar beside me and handed the bartender his empty glass.

“Erwin, this is Eren,” he said as he waved at me.

“It’s nice to meet you, Eren.” Erwin’s voice was smooth like silk. I might have been annoyed by his very existence, but that didn’t mean I didn’t find him achingly attractive. He held out his hand to me and offered me a small smile as well.

“Hi,” I said lamely as I took his hand. I gave him my firmest handshake. 

“Levi’s mentioned you a few times to me,” Erwin said. “Though he’s a bit withholding about the details of how you met.”

“Levi? Withholding about details?” Hange said in a mock aghast voice. 

“Can it, four-eyes,” Levi grumbled as he took his refilled glass back and took a slow sip.

“So, Eren, you go to Trost College,” Erwin asked. Levi must have told him as much.

“Yeah, I’m a junior there,” I said. I suddenly wished I had a fancy champagne flute instead of a glass of soda. Erwin was definitely looking at me like I was just a kid, a fact that annoyed me to no end.

“Erwin,” Levi said in drawn out voice that was filled with annoyance. “Don’t you have clients to charm into giving you a shit ton of money?” 

“Yes,” Erwin said with a laugh. He wasn’t at all put off by Levi’s sullen scowl. “There are a few I want you to meet. It was nice to meet you, Eren.”

I nodded. Erwin gestured for Levi to follow him as he turned back into the crowd.

“I’ll be back,” Levi said with a small groan. He trudged after Erwin with his hands buried in his pockets.

Hange and Petra quickly engaged me in friendly banter. I had feeling they could tell I wasn’t haven’t a great time. Petra had a small, sympathetic smile on her lips as she watched me stare off into the crowd where Levi and Erwin had vanished. I honestly don’t know what I had expected from this party, but it wasn’t going at all how I had imagined, of that I was certain. I thought that Levi and I would be able to hang out, but that wasn’t happening at all. Instead, he was spending all his time with this Erwin fellow, with whom Levi had apparently lived for some time until he got his own place. On top of that, Levi actually _smiled_ and _laughed_ with Erwin. I had never seen him do that with the same level of openness as he did with Erwin with anyone else, so really I shouldn’t take it that personally, but that’s exactly how I did take it. Probably because I was just a kid, so I wasn’t all that mature.

“Eren, are you alright?” Petra asked. “You look a little upset.”

“Oh, I’m just not feeling well,” I said quickly. “Everything’s a little overwhelming.” I gave a dry laugh. 

“Do you want to step outside?” Petra asked.

“Actually, I think I might just head home,” I said as I put my glass on the counter. “I’m starting to get a really bad headache.”

“Do you want to find Levi?” Hange asked.

“That’s okay. He has work to do,” I said quickly. “Will you tell him that I wasn’t feeling well?”

“Okay,” Hange said slowly. “How are you going to get home?”

“I’ll just take an Uber. See you,” I said the last words quickly to keep them from pestering me more. I knew they were just concerned, but I didn’t want to stick around any longer. I moved through the crowd toward the double doors we had entered through. It probably hadn’t been more than an hour. Levi had said I could leave whenever I wanted. He probably had meant with him though.

I left the ballroom and sighed with relief as the volume dropped considerably. My head was actually starting to ache, I hadn’t been lying about that. I meandered along the balcony toward the stairs. I would have to text Levi later about leaving early. What was I even suppose to say? Sorry I got jealous of your super hot boss and decided to act like an actual child and run away from my problems? I mean, hey, it got the point across rather well.

“Eren!”

I looked up at the sound of Levi’s voice. He was hurrying toward me. When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped and stared down at me. His face was a mixture of perplexed and concerned.

“Are you okay? Hange said you weren’t feeling well, so you left.” His forehead creased as he stared down at me.

“I’m fine. I just have a headache,” I said.

“You could have gotten me,” Levi said as he moved down the stairs toward me. “I can take you home.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You should stay. You have work stuff to do,” I said as I walked down the stairs away from him. My heel caught on the step behind me. I gasped as I began to topple backward.

“Careful!” Levi lunged forward and grabbed my flailing arm. He yanked me toward him. I slammed into his chest, which I was actually at eye level with for once. “Be careful,” he admonished. 

“Sorry,” I said. I took a small step back. He hadn’t let go of my arm. I tugged lightly against his grip, but his hand didn’t release me. “You don’t have to take me home. It’s fine.”

“Eren, is something wrong?” Levi asked. He cocked his head to the side as he continued to appraise my face with his dark eyes as if he was looking for clues as to what was _really_ the matter.

“Nothing,” I said. I turned my face away as a blush rose in my cheeks.

“Are you upset because I couldn’t spend a lot of time with you?” Levi asked quietly.

“No,” I snapped. “I’m not a kid.”

“Eren, I don’t think you’re a kid,” Levi said. “What’s really the matter?”

“I told you, nothing,” I snapped. I was starting to get annoyed. Why wouldn’t he just let me go, _literally_? I yanked against his grip more aggressively this time and he released me.

“Eren,” Levi shot back in a steely voice. “I’m not stupid. I can tell something’s bothering you. Just tell me.”

“Levi.” My voice was cold as I turned away from him. “You’re being pushy. I already told you it’s nothing, so just respect that, okay? I hate it when clients get pushy.”

“What the fuck are you saying?” Levi moved down the stairs and planted himself in front of me. “I’m not paying you so I’m not your fucking client.”

“Levi, cut it out,” I said. “It’s not a big deal. I just have a headache and I want to go home. Just go hang out with Erwin, alright?” I stepped around him.

Levi snarled in annoyance. He grabbed hold of my tie and yanked me around. I yelped in surprise. He stepped onto the stair above mine and pulled me forward. I began to protest, but he slammed his lips against mine, effectively silencing me. I blinked several times. His lips were soft and gentle against mine. He didn’t do anything other than slot them against mine. He pulled back from the kiss and glowered down at me.

“Erwin’s married,” Levi said. “His husband’s name is Mike and they’ve been happily married for eight years.Erwin and I are close because he’s my best friend and I owe him my life. I’m not paying you to be here. You’re here as my date.”

“Date?” I whispered as I stared up at him. My mind was still reeling from the kiss. 

“Yes, date,” Levi said. “Do I need to clear the air about anything else?”

“Why did you…kiss me?” I asked quietly.

“Don’t you know what a date means?” Levi snapped. I swear he had to restrain himself from stamping his foot.

A small smile crawled across my lips. I ducked my head.

“So, do you still want to go home?” Levi asked. He loosened his grip on my tie. He straightened it carefully.

“As opposed to?” I asked slowly as I looked at him.

“You can come back to my place, if you want,” Levi said. He wasn’t looking at me. His pointed cheekbones were a touch rosier than their typical pale white. 

“Yeah, I want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it a took a little finagling to get that last scene to work. i had this idea of it for a while but had trouble writing it out. i hope it was good and that people liked how it turned out. i'm a little meh about it


	9. Chapter 9

**Eren’s POV**

It was a surprisingly not awkward car ride back to Levi’s. Usually when I drove with a client to a hotel, I got horribly awkward, but Levi A) wasn't a client and B) just proceeded with conversation as usual. He even apologized for the ‘inconvenience’ comment he had made. I told him it hadn’t bothered me, which was a blatant lie. I was happy that he had even remembered it and had apologized for it. 

When we reached the apartment complex, he parked the car and led me upstairs to his floor. He offered me a drink, but I declined. I was giddy, and hopeful that he wouldn’t notice this. I leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as he poured himself a glass of water.

“I’m sorry I got jealous about your boss,” I mumbled under my breath. 

“Oh, so you’re admitting it now,” Levi said with a small smirk. He put the glass down and slipped off his suit jacket, which he tossed onto the counter.

“Sh-shut up,” I muttered as I stared down at the floor. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute when you act like a brat,” he said as he reached out and ruffled my hair.

“I’m not cute,” I grumbled as I knocked his hand aside. “I’m hot.”

“Yeah, you are.”

I flushed and looked away. Levi stepped around the counter. He caught hold of my face and dragged me down, slamming our lips together. I moaned into the kiss. He caught my thighs and tugged demandingly. I gave a small hop and he caught me in his strong arms.

“Ah, you can carry me,” I gasped in surprise.

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Levi said sullenly as he walked across the room with me in his arms.

“You’re just so small,” I said with a grin.

“Shut the fuck up, brat,” he said. He was scowling, but I could tell he wasn’t too bothered by the comment.

I grinned as I pressed my face against his neck. I breathed in his heady scent, which played nicely with the cologne he was wearing. I nipped at his throat lightly and he grunted. He carried me with ease up the stairs to the balcony. He reached a door and kicked it open. I didn’t bother to look around to see what part of the house we were in. Instead, I dragged my teeth over his soft throat as I threaded my fingers in his hair.

Suddenly, his arms were no longer around me. I yelped. My body descended for a brief moment before I landed on the mattress. I scowled up at him. Levi had a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he yanked off his tie.

I swallowed. Fuck, he was hot. He grabbed my leg and pulled off my shoe. I bit my lip as I watched him dispose of the other loafer as well. He moved forward and slid his hands below my suit jacket. My breathing was coming in slow, eager pants as he carefully slipped the jacket off my shoulders. He tossed it gently and with much precision onto the foot of his bed. He slowly undid my tie and draped it over the suit jacket.

His hand pressed against my chest and I shifted backward onto the mattress. He followed me. His knees came up onto the bed and he crawled toward me. My heart was hammering in my chest and, fuck, did I have a massive tent raging in my pants. 

Levi delicately toed off his shoes when he reached the edge of the bed. They fell to the floor with soft thunks. My back bumped against the pillows that were piled high at the head of Levi’s bed. I dropped down onto them and stared up at him. I was honestly so nervous my hands had started to tremble. I hadn’t had sex with anyone other than a client in several months. The last time I hadn't been with a client had been with my Calculus TA and honestly he had been a shitty lay. Right now, it felt like electricity was shooting through my body and Levi had barely touched me yet.

“Is this okay?” Levi asked quietly as he laid his hand gently on my chest.

I nodded slowly.

“You can tell me to stop whenever,” he murmured as he leaned forward and licked the shell of my ear.

I whimpered loudly and felt him grin. A blush crept up my cheeks. Usually when I had sex, I did all the work; it was strange being the pillow prince in the equation. Normally I was tasked with getting my clients off, but right now Levi seemed content with pleasuring me and, holy shit, was he doing that. 

His fingertips ghosted down my chest as he popped the buttons of my shirt. His lips pressed against my neck, sucking gently. I whined and my hips bucked slightly. When he had undone the last button, he slipped my shirt off my chest. I sat up and helped him work the article of clothing off my arms. He carefully folded it and sat back on his heels to place it at the foot of the bed. I couldn’t help but snicker quietly at the gesture.

“What?” he said, looking a touch peeved as he dropped back over me.

“You could just chuck it somewhere,” I pointed out.

“And have it get wrinkled? No fucking way,” Levi said sharply.

Any further commentary I had on the subject was cut off abruptly when he bit my nipple. I yelped loudly and jerked off the mattress. Levi chuckled as he pushed me down with a hand on my hip. He toyed his tongue against my hardening bud. I whined loudly. 

“Fuck, Eren,” Levi hissed as he sat back. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt before dropping back down to press our bare chests together. As he moved, I caught sight of a flash of black that hinted at a tattoo. Though I was curious, I was quickly distracted as Levi’s sinful mouth returned to my nipple. His hand grabbed my belt and undid it. He unbuttoned my pants and slid the zipper down. I moaned in relief as my cock was granted more freedom. I was already leaking precome, a fact that would have been embarrassing, but honestly I felt so goddamn comfortable with Levi.

His hand slid beneath my briefs and my breath hitched as his fingers brushed my cock. His other hand pushed my pants and briefs down below my ass. He gripped my cock in his hand and gave it a sharp tug. I cried out and quickly stifled any further noise by biting the back of my hand. I felt his hips press down against my thigh and an unmistakable bulge rubbed against me. I moaned loudly and pushed my thigh up against his crotch. He grunted and slid his thumb over the tip of my cock. The act smeared hot precome over my member and I whined loudly.

Levi sat back on his heels. He released his hold on my dick and I whimpered at the loss of contact. He smirked as he grabbed hold of my pants and briefs. He yanked them off, somehow managing to take my socks as well, for which I was grateful. Honestly nothing embarrassed me more than wearing socks and nothing else while having sex.

He carefully put the remainder of my clothes at the foot of the bed and turned to stare down me. I flushed and quickly averted my gaze as his eyes trailed over my completely naked form. I wasn’t going to lie: I had a really hot body. On top of that, I had been naked in front of people plenty of times, but something about it being Levi just made me feel _more_ naked if that was at all possible. Levi’s breath hitched as his eyes drank in every detail. I dropped my hand to the mattress and licked my lips as I stared up at him. 

“Holy shit, Eren,” he breathed quietly.

“Like what you see?” I asked in a breathy voice as I slid my hand down my stomach and fisted my own cock. _Wow, Eren, we’re not in a fucking porno. Control yourself_ , I chided myself, but the way Levi was looking at me like he wanted to fuck me until I couldn’t walk was too damn appealing. I tugged lightly on my hard-on and moaned quietly.

“Lewd,” Levi whispered.

Suddenly perverse embarrassment flooded over me. I quickly released my dick and my arms flew over my face.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do something weird. I’m sorry. I just have a lot of sex with clients and I-I--”

“Eren, Eren,” Levi said quickly. He grabbed my wrists and pulled my arms away from my face. His eyes were wide as he stared down at me. “I didn’t mean anything like that,” he said with earnesty. “You look fucking hot, that’s all I meant.”

“R-really?” I asked. I turned my head to the side and stared shyly up at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Yeah, really,” he said with a small smile. "And I don't care how much sex you've had before."

"You don't?"

"I'd have to be a prick to care about that sort of thing," Levi said with a shrug.

“Sorry,” I said quietly. “Did I ruin the mood?”

“No, idiot,” Levi said, but he was still smiling. He suddenly pressed his lips against mine. His chest brushed against mine and I moaned loudly. He shoved his tongue into my mouth. He pulled back just as quickly. A strand of saliva connected us for a moment before breaking and splattering on my chin. “Can I fuck you?”

“Please,” I whispered.

Levi released my arms and leaned over to the bedside table. He opened the drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. He dropped the latter onto the pillow beside my head and popped open the bottle. I licked my lips as I watched him coat his fingers in the clear liquid.

“Get on your knees.” His voice was low and husky and sent shivers of arousal down my spine.

I quickly rolled onto my stomach and shifted so my knees were beneath my chest. I raised my ass slightly. My face heated up in embarrassment as I presented myself to him. His wet fingers slid down my crack and I gasped at the sudden cold. My hips thrust back and I heard Levi chuckle quietly.

“Someone’s eager,” he said as he pressed his forefinger against my hole.

“Levi,” I panted as I pressed my ass back. Typically, when I was with a client, I had to fake these sort of reactions, but right now I was too aroused to think clearly let alone fake anything. Every time he touched me, it felt like my skin was burning. My cock was throbbing and I was practically trembling with need.

Levi pushed his finger inside my passage and I choked on a quiet moan. He began to thrust his finger slowly in and out. A keening whine slipped past my lips and I quickly bit down on my forearm. Levi gripped my hip with his other hand as he slowly drew out his finger. The next time he pushed in, he worked a second finger in as well. I moaned and thrust my hips back. Levi gasped and his grip tightened on my hip. He thrust his fingers shallowly and curled them. I groaned as my passage twitched around the digits. He spread them and thrust them and repeated this for a few minutes as I steadily came undone under his ministrations. I was panting and whining loudly when he finally withdrew his fingers.

“A-are you gonna put it in now?” I panted as I looked back at him over my shoulder.

“Is that okay?” he asked as he picked up the condom. His cheeks were flushed and sweat shone on his forehead.

“Please,” I whimpered as I pushed my ass back.

Levi quickly ripped open the package with his teeth. He held onto the ripped open package with his teeth as he unzipped his pants and drew out his cock. I whimpered as I stared at him. For a short guy he was fucking hung. His length was curved and thick.

“H-holy shit,” I whispered. “Is your dick pierced?” My eyes were locked onto the two metal balls just below the crown of his cock.

“Yeah,” he said with a small grin. He slowly slipped the condom over the head of his dick. 

I whimpered. My eyes trailed up his chest and I took the opportunity to exam the tattoos that I had glimpsed briefly. Poking from beneath his shirt just below his shoulder I could see black ink in the shape of scales. The rest of the tattoo was hidden by his shirt, but I was dying to see it. On his chest over his heart was a puckered scar about the size of two quarters. At its edges were bits of ink. I wondered what sort of tattoo had been beneath the scar.

When he had finished putting on the condom, he caught my hip in his hand. I moaned quietly as my thoughts were pulled from his tattoos to what was about to happen. He carefully lined the head of his cock up with my puckered entrance.

“Tell me if you need me to stop,” Levi said through gritted teeth. He sounded like he would barely be able to manage it if I did ask him to stop, but something about the concentrated furrow in his brow and his overall demeanor throughout this whole affair assured me that he’d be able to.

I nodded quickly before burying my face in the pillow beneath me. I took a steadying breath and Levi eased slowly into me as I released it. I whined as my passage stretched around his thick girth. His piercing rubbed the inside of my passage in a strange, foreign way. He gasped quietly as his slipped deeper into me with shallow thrusts. One particular thrust drove the head of his dick into my prostate. I cried out loudly and arched into the bed.

“Eren,” he said quickly as he froze in place. His hips trembled as he suppressed the effort to bury his cock in me.

“’S okay,” I panted. I moaned and pushed my hips back. “Please, put it in all the way. I want you.”

Levi gripped my hips and thrust into me. I yelped as his pelvis slammed against my ass. My breathing stuttered in my chest as my passage stretched around his cock, which was sheathed completely inside of me.

“Can I move?” 

“Please,” I whimpered, “please just fuck me.”

Levi groaned at my words. He yanked my ass off his dick before slamming back into me. I cried out. My hands reached out and gripped the head board. I pulled my chest off the mattress as he continued to pound into me. He’d truly taken my request to heart. I mewed wantonly as he fucked into me hard enough to make my eyes water, but all the same pleasure coursed through my veins as my cock slapped against my stomach. My knees began to tremble and my fingers dug into the headboard.

“L-Levi, I’m gonna cum,” I hissed.

“Already? And I’ve barely touched your front.”

Levi flipped me over and I gasped as I landed on my back. He smirked down at me and heat pooled in my stomach. He slid his forearms below my knees. His cock had remained buried in my ass the entire time. He thrust into me and I moaned loudly as the piercing balls assaulted my prostate. He was biting his lip and his eyebrows were scrunched up. He somehow made the expression look simultaneously endearing and sexy as hell. His hands gripped my thighs. His shirt had slipped over his shoulders to reveal the twining body of a scaled creature on his shoulder.

“P-please, touch me. I’m so close,” I begged, having fully discarded any semblance of humility I had had left.

“You’re gonna come from getting fucked,” Levi said simply as he picked up his pace.

I sobbed loudly as he pounded against my prostate. My eyes rolled back in my head and my orgasm exploded over me. Cum spurted over my chest as pleasure rippled through me. My toes curled and I felt my ass tighten around his cock.

“Holy shit,” he hissed. 

He hunched over me and I felt his cock swell as he released his load into the condom. He remained bent over me as with both rode out our orgasms. I whimpered quietly as my head spun and tears slipped down my cheeks. Finally he sat up. 

“I came sooner than I meant to,” he said accusingly as he looked down at me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I wiped my eyes on the back of my arm. “You can fuck me later too.”

Levi gave a small smile as he pulled out of my ass. He bent over me and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. His thumbs gently brushed away my tears. I kissed him back, but honestly I was so spent there wasn’t much gusto behind it. Levi slipped the filled condom off his cock. He climbed out of bed and tied off the latex before chucking it in the trash bin by the bedside. I mewed in satisfaction as I started to roll onto my side.

“Whoa, you’re gonna get your cum everywhere,” Levi admonished as he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me onto my back.

I mumbled under my breath in embarrassment. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. He quickly plucked a few tissues from the box on the bedside and gently wiped my cum off my chest. I seriously thought I was going to combust I was so embarrassed. I looked away as he finished cleaning me off.

“I want to take a shower, but would you like one first?” he asked.

“That’s fine,” I said as I sat up. “I’ll shower at my apartment.”

“What do you mean?” he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

“When I get back to my place, I’ll shower,” I said slowly as I frowned at him.

“Why would you go back to your place?” he asked as he put his hand on his hip. 

“B-because I, um,” I mumbled as I stared down at the bedsheets. I always left right away after sex with a client, but I was slowly remembering that Levi _wasn’t_ a client. “Can I stay?” I asked as I looked up at him through my lashes.

“Of course,” he said. “So would you like to shower or not?”

“I’m too tired,” I said as I dropped back onto the pillows and snuggled against them. Now that I had been given permission to stay I could allow the exhaustion to wash over me.

“Alright, but you better shower tomorrow.” Levi brandished a finger at me.

“I will,” I promised as I curled onto my side.

Levi nodded in a satisfied way before walking over to the dresser. His bedroom was furnished in a similar fashion as the guest room in the sense that it screamed simplicity. The overhead light filled it with a warm glow. It was cozy and looked lived-in despite its starkness.

“This drawer has all of Hange’s clothes in it,” Levi said. He kicked his toe lightly against the bottom drawer as he draped his clothes over his arm. “Help yourself to whatever.”

“Thanks,” I said.

He walked to the door that stood across from the bed and disappeared inside. When I heard the water start to run, I climbed out of bed and went to the dresser. I pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I grabbed my briefs as well and pulled on the haphazard ensemble. I dropped back into bed. My hips were starting to ache and my back was tightening up. I grabbed one of Levi’s pillows and hugged it to my chest as I lay on my side. Suddenly I heard a buzzing coming from the foot of the bed. I crawled forward on my knees and flopped down on the pillow I still held. I fished my phone out of pocket. I had a text from Annie.

**Annie Leonhardt  
** _Where are you?_

**Me**  
_Sorry. I’m at Levi’s. Going to spend the night._

**Annie Leonhardt**  
_So much for platonic lol_

**Me**  
_Annie! Omfg_

**Annie Leonhardt**  
_What? I’m not wrong am I_

**Me** _  
…No_

**Annie Leonhardt**  
_Is it part of an arrangement or...?_

 ** Me  
** _No he said it was a date tonight :)_

**Annie Leonhardt** _**  
** Cool tell me all about it tomorrow. Night_

**Me**  
_Will do. Good night_

As I sent the last message, Levi walked back into the bedroom. He was dressed in sweatpants and long sleeve shirt. His hair was wet and combed back. It glistened in the light of the ceiling lamp as he walked across the room. 

“Do you have a charger I could use?” I asked as I waved my phone at him.

“Yeah.” He held out his hand and I gave him my phone. He plugged it into cord on the bedside. He took his own phone out of his pocket and found another cord in the drawer. When he had plugged his phone in as well, he took my clothes off the bed and hung them up on the back of the closet door. “Turn the lamp on.” 

I flicked on the lamp that sat on the bedside table. He turned off the overhead light and returned to the bed. He climbed under the covers. 

“I don’t cuddle,” he warned as I flopped onto the pillows beside him.

“Okay, I’ll just have to spoon this pillow then,” I said, referring to the pillow I still had wrapped in my arms. 

“Good,” he said. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before flicking off the lamp. “Good night.”

“Night.” I rolled onto my side and curled up around the pillow.

Levi settled into the mass of pillows beside me. I shifted slightly and my ass bumped his hip. He didn’t protest or move away so I didn't bother moving either. The light bit of contact was comforting. I let out a small sigh and closed my eyes. Sleep washed over me almost immediately and I knew I would sleep fitfully courtesy of how well Levi had fucked me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay sex! next chapter will actually have plot lmao


	10. Chapter 10

**Eren’s POV**

I awoke with a start. My mind scrambled around to figure out where I was. My eyes blinked open and I was swamped with unfamiliar images. This wasn’t my room; this wasn’t my bed; where the fuck was I? I flailed into a sitting position, gasping for breath as I went.

“Eren!” someone called out to me. Strong hands wrapped around my shoulders and shook me gently. “Eren, it’s okay.”

Relief flooded over me as I recognized the voice. I grabbed Levi’s wrists and took trembling breaths as I shook from head to toe. I blinked my eyes open all the way and stared up at him. He released a small sigh of relief as my thrashing died down and recognition dawned on my face.

“Levi,” I breathed quietly.

“Didn’t know where you were?” he asked with an understanding smile.

I nodded slowly. My eyes dropped to his chest. He was bare from the waist up. My eyes roamed over his soft skin. He was skinny, but his body rippled with muscles. Without a shirt, I could see that the tattoo on his arm twined down to his elbow. It was the body of a snake or a dragon. I wasn't sure which since its head was on Levi's back. On the inside of that same bicep were clusters of pale, white scars. They ranged in length, width, and depth and covered his skin from just below his armpit down to his elbow. I quickly averted my gaze by burying my face against his chest. I had a feeling he hadn’t wanted me to see those. It made sense to me now why he hadn’t taken his shirt off while we'd had sex. I breathed in slowly as I leaned against his chest.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he released my shoulders and began to stroke my hair gently. 

“Better now,” I said with a small sigh.

“I meant how’s your ass doing?” He pulled away from me and smirked down at me. 

“Fine,” I said a little too loudly. I pouted at him as my cheeks flushed deeply. The truth was I was sore from the waist down. 

“I made breakfast,” Levi said. He ruffled my hair again before turning and walking halfway across the room. He bent to pick up the shirt that he had discarded when he had rushed to my side. He was dressed in tight black jeans, which gave me a wonderful view of his ass while he was bending over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower.”

“Are you going to be okay getti—?” 

I answered his question when my legs gave out beneath me and I landed hard on my ass on the floor. I groaned loudly. Levi chuckled. He slipped on his long-sleeved shirt and walked to my side.

“I’ll help you,” he said, offering me his hand.

I took it. He pulled me to my feet and scooped me into his arms. I gasped, again surprised that he could carry me. Then the embarrassment of being carried to the bathroom because he'd fucked me so hard last night washed over me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck out of embarrassment. He laughed as he took me to the bathroom. He set me down gently on the counter.

“Towels there,” he said, pointing superfluously to the towel rack. “Hange has clothes other than sweats that they’ve left here so you can wear those if you like. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Thanks,” I said.

He nodded. He stood up on his tip toes and gave me a quick peck on the lips. He dropped onto his heels and left the bathroom without another word. He closed the door behind him. I slid gingerly off the counter. I gripped the edge of it as my knees trembled beneath me. My legs had turned to jello the last time I had tried to walk, but they felt like they could carry me now. 

After I had showered, I found a pair of jeans and a Gorillaz t-shirt in Hange’s drawer. I pulled them both on and left Levi’s room. I walked to the railing of the balcony and stared down at the spacious living area. Levi was standing in the kitchen. He was typing away furiously on his phone. A dark furrow creased his brow. On the counter beside him an electric tea kettle was steaming.  I walked along the balcony and descended the stairs. I went to the counter and leaned my elbows on it.

“Hey,” I said. 

“Hi,” Levi said in a distracted voice as he finished the text and put his phone in his back pocket. He gave a quiet sigh. “Erwin’s being a prick.” He grabbed the tea kettle and filled up a mug. “You want tea?”

“Sure.” I had never been much of a tea drinker, but since he was offering I figured I’d take him up on it.

“I only have Earl Gray.”

“Ooh, that’s the fancy kind,” I said. My knowledge of tea was limited to Armin’s rather small collection.

“Fuck if I know,” Levi said. “It tastes good, though." He dropped a tea bag into both of our mugs and handed me mine.

I took it and followed him to the dinning room table, which was laden with food much like it had been last Saturday.

“Is Erwin mad that you left early last night?” I asked guiltily as I sat down at the table.

“No,” Levi scoffed with a shake of his head. “He’s making me come in early tomorrow so we can do a conference call with clients in China. I hate early morning conference calls. Especially when they're in Mandarin.”

“You speak Mandarin?” I asked excitedly as I doled bacon and eggs onto my plate.

“Not very well,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “It’s one of the classes I’m taking now. Erwin’s fluent in it though and he likes to show-off to the clients.”

We continued to discuss Erwin and Levi’s job in general. I didn’t mind that Erwin was the subject of conversation since Levi was taking it upon himself to deprecate the man with every other comment he made. It was obvious he held a great respect for the man, but he was still complaining about him much like I complained about Mikasa every now and again.

“How’s school going?” Levi asked when we had tired out the work and Erwin subject.

“It’s fine,” I said with a shrug. “I have this big art project due in a couple of weeks and I’m not sure if I like what I’m making.”

“What sort of art?” Levi asked. His brows crinkled slightly. He didn’t seem all that certain about the terminology for art.

“I do sculpting for the most part,” I explained. “It’s what I’m best at. I even entered something into an art contest, but that was mostly for the prize money.”

“How are you doing with money?” Levi asked cautiously. He took a delicate bite of eggs. He honestly ate like the food would cause him some sort of injury if it brushed his lips. 

“Okay,” I said. “I’m trying to get the school to give me a scholarship. My grades are good enough in all my classes except Calculus so if I get that up, I’ll be good. I just have to navigate all the stupid bureaucracy, which is a bitch and a half.”

“I can help you with that,” Levi offered. “Bureaucratic bullshit is what I deal with for a living.”

“Really?” I said eagerly. “That would help so much. Thank you!”

“Yeah, no problem. Just show me the paperwork or what-have-you some time before the deadline and I’ll help you navigate it.”

“Thanks,” I said, flashing him a beaming smile.

When we had finished breakfast, Levi offered to drive me back to my apartment. I had secretly been hoping to spend the rest of the day with him.

“I have a class this afternoon, or else I’d keep you here,” Levi said, “and hold you to that offer that you’d let me fuck you again.” He cast me a smirk as he handed me one of the dishes to towel dry.

“That offer doesn’t have an expiration date,” I told him. 

We left his apartment and he drove me back to mine. In the car Levi asked about my roommate. I had mentioned Annie in passing to him before, referring to her as strictly ‘my roommate’. I launched into an animated description of all three of my roommates. He seemed thoroughly entertained by my depictions of them. I also told him about how Annie had taught me the self-defense move I had used on Dave to get away from him.

“I like her,” he said simply with an emphatic nod. 

“You can come up and meet her if you like,” I said. “She should be home now.”

Levi accepted my offer. We found thirty minute parking on one of the side streets by my apartment and I took him up to the third floor. We were chatting amicably as we turned into the hallway. A sharp rapping on a door turned by attention down the hallway.

My father stood by my apartment door, knocking intently on it. I froze and stared at him. He hadn’t texted me at all and yet here he was at my fricking apartment. What the hell was he doing here? 

“Eren?” Levi asked as he glanced between me and the man by the door. He looked about ready to throw himself at Grisha and eviscerate him.

“Dad,” I said as I walked down the hall. That should help placate Levi, who had probably assumed that Grisha was Dave or another client who had done me wrong.

“Eren, there you are. I—“ Grisha had turned toward us and his eyes fell on Levi. His face darkening. His bloodshot eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

“Grisha," I hissed as I glanced between my father and Levi, who’s face had returned to his typical, passive expression.

“You have some nerve showing up here,” Grisha snapped as he took a step toward Levi.

“Sir, what are you talking about?” Levi said, though he spoke politely, his hands had curled into tight fists. He didn't look prepared to fight my father, rather to defend himself if it came down to it, which it might considering Grisha's explosive personality.

“Eren, do you even know what this low-life piece of shit does for a living?” Grisha demanded as he rounded on me. 

“Um, he’s in marketing,” I said. 

“Is that what he told you?” my father scoffed. “He’s a fucking loan shark.”

“Former loan shark,” Levi said as he folded his arms. His brows were furrowed as he looked Grisha up and down. “I recognize you,” he said slowly.

“Oh, you fucking better,” Grisha snarled. He lunged forward and grabbed the front of Levi’s shirt. He jerked Levi toward him. 

“Dad!” I yelled as I caught Grisha’s arm and tugged on it.

“This little shit is one of the bastards who came round everyday to squeeze money from us. It stressed your mother out to no end and drained the fucking life out of her.”

“Cut it out,” I snapped as I finally managed to push Grisha off of Levi, who hadn’t responded to the assault save for an aggressive scowl that now twisted his usually calm features. “Is he telling the truth?” I asked quietly as I looked over at Levi. I stood between him and my father now.

“I was a debt collector,” Levi said quietly, “and I do recognize your father.”

“Did you set this up?” Grisha demanded, gesturing between me and Levi. “Are you one of his fucking clients? You decided to steal all our money from us so my son would be so broke he had to put out for disgusting men like you.”

“I didn’t plan shit,” Levi snapped. “I had no idea Eren was your kid. I barely even remember any of the people I collected from.” Levi’s arms were folded tightly over his chest. His dark eyes were boring a glare into Grisha’s face.

“Dad, let’s just go inside,” I said, pushing on Grisha’s arm. “I’ll, um, I’ll text you,” I said as I looked back at Levi.

“Like Hell you will,” Grisha yelled as I ushered him toward the apartment door. 

The door was suddenly yanked open. Annie stood in the doorway. Her short blonde hair was a messy around her angled face and she was scowling fiercely.

“Quit fucking yelling. It’s too early for this shit,” she demanded. Her eyes fell on the small scene in front of her. “Oh, it’s you guys,” she said. She combed her hair back from her face.

“Sorry,” I said as I grabbed my dad by the elbow and dragged him into the apartment. 

“Is he…?” Annie gestured toward Levi.

“No, he’s going,” I said quickly. I needed to keep Grisha and Levi away from each other before one of them cracked and it came to blows. On top of that, my mind was reeling from the discovery that Levi had been one of the debt collectors who had come by our home all those years ago. 

Grisha had exaggerated a bit about what had gone down back then, but he wasn’t wrong that it had been taxing on my mother for the loan sharks to come by as often as they did.

“Sorry,” Annie mumbled to Levi as she shut the door. 

“Dad, what the hell are you doing here?” I demanded as I released Grisha’s arm.

“Is he one of your clients?” Grisha shot back.

“No, he’s a friend, and how the fuck do you even know about that?”

I glanced over at Annie, who was leaning back against the apartment door. Her arms were folded as she watched us with hooded eyes. She trusted my father about as far as she could throw him and whenever he was around she looked ready to do just that if he stepped out of line.

“One of the regulars at the bar I go to was talking about some desperate college student he was fucking. He mentioned you by name. Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to find out some craggy bar patron is fucking your son?”

“Like you actually give a fuck,” I muttered. “You’re probably just pissed that I’m gay.”

“The fuck you mumbling about?” Grisha said as he took a quick step forward.

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “You didn’t have to flip out at Levi like that.”

“Bastard deserves to get his ass handed to him after what he did to your mother.”

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck as I flopped down on the couch. I wasn’t going to get my dad to quit the dramatics on that front. My mother had had fucking terminal cancer; the debt collectors hadn’t _killed_ her. Sure, they hadn't done her any favors, but her fate had been pretty much sealed the day we found out about the cancer.

“How did the job interview go?” I asked.

“Didn’t get it,” Grisha said with a shrug. “I have another one, though. I need more money for it.”

“I don’t have any money,” I said with a sigh. “You took the last of what I had.” This wasn’t entirely true. I had a bit saved up, but it was all going toward next semester’s bill if I didn’t get the scholarship.

“Just ask your loan shark client for money,” Grisha said.

“You know you act like a huge douche about me sleeping around for money, but you aren’t above stealing that money from me,” I pointed out as I stood up.

“Stealing from you?” Grisha snapped. “I’m your father.”

“Then fucking start acting like it!” I yelled. “All you do is fucking harass me for money when you’re drunk off your ass. How ‘bout you start making your own money for a change? I’m not your fucking bank account. God, you do realize you’re doing exactly what those loan sharks you hate so much did?” I took a steadying breath as the last of the deluge of words left my mouth.

Grisha stared at me, stunned silent, for a long moment. Finally, he spun on his heel and headed for the door. Annie quickly stepped to the side. Grisha yanked the door open. He slammed it shut and I heard his footsteps withdrawing down the hallway. I sighed and fell back onto the couch. I dropped my head in my hands and stared at the floor.

“You okay?” Annie asked as she walked over to the couch.

“Fine,” I murmured quietly.

“Did you know that Levi was a debt collector?”

“No,” I said with a slow shake of my head.

“Does that change things?”

“I don’t know.” 

At that moment, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and stared down at the screen.

** Levi  
** _ I’m sorry you had to find out about what I used to do like that. I would have mentioned it at some point, but it’s not something I like to talk about. I had no idea that your father was one of the people I collected from. If you’d like to talk about it, please text me. _

I groaned as I tossed my phone onto the cushion beside me. My mind was a mess with thoughts. I wanted to text him so badly. I wanted him to come back and tell me it was okay that I had just screamed at my alcoholic father and thrown him out of my apartment, but that same father had for so long engrained it into me that the debt collectors were part of the reason my mom had died.I had regarded debt collectors with the same animosity he did for so long that I was having trouble reconciling that disgust with the feelings that Levi aroused in me.  I hadn’t been lying to Annie when I had said I didn’t know if this changed things between me and Levi, but I was starting to think that it just might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glad everyone enjoyed the smut! now back to torturing my babies lmao


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally forgot it was father's day when i posted the last chapter lmao way to be a great dad grisha. hope everyone enjoys some more angst~~~ thanks for all the comments! they're always so fun to read!

**Levi’s POV**

 

I gripped the steering wheel with all my might. My knuckles strained against my skin until they turned white. I was trying to coax my breathing back to a normal pace, but that was proving to be excessively difficult. I had never wanted Eren to find out about my past like that. I knew that Hange had mentioned to him that I’d had a bit of a rough go of things after high school. I didn’t mind this information circulating. My past was a part of me just like my tattoos and the scar on my chest. I wasn’t proud of it, but I had wanted to reveal the details to Eren in my own time. Now he knew; he knew that I had been a filthy lowlife debt collector, who, worse yet, had drained his very own family of money.

The fact of the matter was, I wasn’t proud of what I had done. I didn’t remember much of it, which would have been a blessing if it didn’t come with severe complications: I had been high out of my mind on heroin for almost four years. At the time, the drugs had washed away the guilt of pulverizing people and their property; stealing TVs, groceries, and anything else from those who couldn’t pay; as well as a slew of other disgusting acts I had partaken in with nothing short of keen enjoyment.

I had been despicable, that was the long and short of it.

The way Eren when he had found out had looked at me only reinforced this fact in my mind. His eyes had cast me a glance of confusion and a lack of familiarity as if he was looking at someone he’d never met before. His lip had curled slightly in an ambiguous look, but one that could be easily read as disgust, and that was exactly how I was taking it.

I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel between my hands. I knew I would have to talk to him in person to sort this out and to figure out just what he thought of me. I had planned on having the conversation about my debt collecting with him anyway. Very few people knew about what I had done between high school and when Erwin had picked me. Those who did know were hand-picked by me to be privy to this information. Now, however, that plan had been ruined

To make matters worse, Eren’s drunk-off-his-ass father had been the one to drop the bomb about all of this. A shiver ran up my spine. I was probably projecting my own fear of intoxicated father figures onto Eren’s situation, but I didn’t like the idea of Eren being with that man when he was angry. 

Eren had mentioned only having one female roommate and she was the martial artist, who had taught him self-defense. The blonde who had yelled at us about being too loud was probably that very roommate, which put me at ease; if Grisha tried anything with Eren, Annie would step in and probably break his neck. I had seen that potential in her cold, blue eyes as she had gazed at Grisha. No love was lost there, that was for sure. 

The thought of Annie being there to protect Eren eased some of my worry concerning the boy. I had freaked out a little this morning when he had awoken so obviously terrified and confused. His subconscious clearly hadn’t processed the trauma of waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom. It would take some time for Eren to get used to waking up in a room other than his own. I knew this was the case from ample experience. I had rarely slept in the same place twice, which hadn’t helped matters. It had taken several years before I could wake up slowly and peacefully, and not fearing for my life.

There was no certainty, however, that Eren would ever be waking up in my apartment again. I hoped against hope that he would. Our tryst last night had been one of the more pleasurable sexual experiences I had had, and the fact that it had been with someone I genuinely liked added to this enjoyment. 

If Eren did spend the night with me again, I would have to be prepared for his waking up discombobulated. This would include wearing a shirt when I comforted him. I had been caught off guard when he had woken up this morning and had tossed the shirt I had been putting on aside. Of course, I had regretted this almost immediately. There was no way to be certain about whether or not Eren had seen my self-harm scars. I certainly hoped he hadn’t. I wasn’t disgusted by them—and doubted that Eren would be either if he saw them. They were a part of me just as much as the tattoos and the scar on my chest. That didn’t mean I had to like them. I also didn’t like that they symbolized that I had done a shit job of taking care of myself for a very long time. I wanted to appear to Eren like someone who could keep it together, especially since Eren was still getting over what had happened last week. It helped matters that the freshest scar was over two years old, but all the same, they made me feel weak.

_I need a drink,_ I thought with a sigh.

I sat back and started the car engine. This was my cue to get moving. When I had urges like this one, I always went to Erwin’s house. Erwin had grown accustom to me showing up at his homes and not talking about my problems. If it was something serious, I would bring it up. Otherwise, I would just lounge around his house or play with his dog. He and Mike had a French bulldog, thanks to me. I had found the puppy abandoned on the road a year after I had moved in with them and convinced them to keep it. Erwin had muttered about having 'two of me' around the house. Pugsley always did a good job of calming me down. It was also comforting having someone bigger and stronger on hand for the times when I tried to get my hands on alcohol. Both Erwin and Mike fit this bill. I could be incredibly violent when I got it into my head that I needed to drink. There had been times when Erwin had had to pin me to the floor and keep me there until I had gotten over the violent urges.

I picked up my phone and typed out a quick message to Eren. I could only hope now that he would want to talk to me again. He could want nothing more to do with me, and if that was the case, I would accept that. I would hate it, but I would accept it.

I pulled out of the parking place and headed out of the city. Erwin lived about twenty minutes outside of the city. He and Mike had a house in the suburbs. It was quaint and adorable with a white picket fence, a fact that I had mercilessly antagonized Erwin about for the first few months I had lived with him. Now, just the thought of pulling up to that house and parking by the fence helped calm me. 

* * *

**Eren’s POV**

 

I drummed my phone lightly on my knee as I stared at the carpeted floor. I was in the waiting room of my dean’s office. I had been here for about fifteen minutes and I was going _very_ impatient. I clicked the home button on my phone and the screen lit up. I sighed loudly and glanced over at the secretary. She was typing away at her computer and didn’t notice the annoyed glower I was directing at her.

I sighed again and sunk deeper into the plush couch I had taken up residence on. I stared down at my phone as I spun it slowly in my hand. It was Tuesday and I hadn’t texted Levi back. I knew I should have by now, but I had been so rattled after throwing my dad out of my apartment that the only thing I had been able to focus on was Annie trying to calm me down through video games. On top of that, I had no idea what I would say to him. _Wow, sucks that you took money from my family and stole our TV and broke our table. Wanna bone?_ That was a contender of possible texts I could send. There was no real way of knowing if Levi had assisted in the taking of our TV or the vandalism. It was true that he had most definitely taken money from us, but that had been his job. Dad had gotten us to in debt, which made it his fault that everything had happened.

“Eren?”

I looked up at the sound of my name and automatically said ‘hello’ even before my eyes had fallen on my dean. Dean Winthrop was a stout man with a sparse patch of brown hair and a round face. He was nice enough, and had helped me drop classes and move off campus.

“How are you?” he asked as he gestured for me to follow him into his office.

“Good,” I said, plastering a faux smile on my face. I picked up my backpack and walked into his office. I plunked down in one of the leather armchairs in front of his desk.

“Good, good,” he said as he closed the door and went to the chair behind his desk. He seated himself and folded his hands. “What can I help you with today?”

“I was hoping you could let me in on how my scholarship application is going,” I said. 

“Ah, yes,” the dean said with a nod. He turned to his computer and pulled up my file. “It’s processing now. It looks like you have all of the paperwork in.” He frowned and hummed quietly.

“What is it?” I asked as I sat forward.

“I’m looking at your transcript and midterm grades,” he said. The largest component of getting a scholarship was grades. “You had straight As last semester and have the same this semester, except for Calculus. You have a D in that class.” He looked over at me.

“Yeah,” I said slowly as I sat back in my chair. I gave a dry laugh. I had a D in that class and had been getting the D from the TA. Not that those two things were connected, and the latter wasn’t very relative, but awkwardly irrelevant humor always helped calm my jittering nerves. “Can I still get the scholarship?”

“Not if you end the semester with D. The board looks at two semesters worth of grades in order to determine who can get a scholarship. If you can pull it up to a high B or an A, then you’ll definitely be in the running. Right now, however, if that grade stays the same, you don’t have a chance.” He cast me a sympathetic smile.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes with the heels of hand. The only way I could get that grade up was to get Armin to tutor the shit out of me for the rest of the semester. Only problem with that was, between my massive art project and the rest of my classes, I didn’t have much time to spare.

“I know you are tight on money, which is why you moved off campus and are going for the scholarship,” the dean said. 

“Yeah,” I said with a grating sigh, “and I can’t swing for anymore financial aide.”

“That is true,” Winthrop agreed with a nod. “Is the scholarship your last resort?” He meant my last resort before I had to drop out.

My stomach twisted at the thought. College was far from my ‘thing’, but my mother had been so desperate about me going; I wanted to honor her in that regard. On top of that, I wasn’t stupid; I knew a degree would make a world of difference with finding a job.

“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “I entered an art contest and I have some part time jobs that help. My dad also might be getting a job soon.” _I just don’t know if he’s going to help me pay for school,_ I thought bitterly.

“You do have the option of taking only one or two classes each semester,” my dean pointed out. “This will lessen the monetary load considerably and give you more time for part time jobs.”

“I know,” I said, “but I wanna graduate with my friends.”

“Have you considered taking out a student loan?”

A shiver coursed up my spine. My gaze dropped to my hands. Loans and I didn’t get along. The thing with Levi on Sunday had also dragged the reality of my past situation with loans to the forefront of my mind. I could not even consider taking out a loan. I knew banks didn’t send loan sharks after college students like the mafia did, but the fear of being unable to pay off the loan was too overwhelming.

“I’ve thought about it,” I said vaguely. “I’ll look into it more. Thanks for your help.” I stood up and swung my backpack onto my shoulder.

“Is that all you needed?” Dean Winthrop asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to check in about the scholarship,” I said with a shrug. I hoped he didn’t think of me as a time waster.

“Well, I wish you the best of luck with Calculus then,” he said with a smile as he rose.

“Thanks,” I said. I gave him a quick wave before turning and leaving the office.

I wandered out into the quad and set out aimlessly. I didn’t have class for the rest of the day and I wasn’t scheduled to work at the cafe this afternoon. In other words, I had nowhere I needed to be. I pulled out my phone and went to my messages. I stared down at Levi’s contact name. I really needed to just suck it up and text.  _Honestly, Eren, just be an adult about it_ , I chided myself. I sighed and typed out a quick text.

**Me**   
_I'm free for the rest of day. Do you want to talk about Sunday?_

There. That had been a perfectly reasonable text. It didn't get into any of the sordid details, but it was also personable enough that I didn't come off as a complete asshole. I also didn't proposition him for sex like that one text message in my head had done, so I was good on that front.

I finally opted on heading down to Crossroads to do some homework and grab a bite to eat. I texted Armin, Mikasa, and Annie in our group chat, asking if they would like to join me. I got replies from all of them almost immediately. They all declined my offers with various reasons and multiple sad-face emojis. I wasn't too bummed about it; I didn't mind going by myself, and it would be easier to cut out early if Levi and I did decided to meet up.

About an hour after I had texted him, I got a reply from Levi. I picked up my phone off the table. I was tucked in a back corner of Crossroads, trying to decipher my Calculus homework. I flicked open my phone and quickly read the reply.

** Levi  
** _ It's good to hear from you. I am free now as well. I can meet you somewhere if you like. _

My stomach twisted. I suddenly found myself incredibly nervous. I took a steadying breath.

**Me**   
_I'm at Crossroads. Wanna meet here?_

** Levi ** _**  
**Works with me. I'll be there in 15_

** Me _  
_** _Cool see you soon_

I closed my phone and tried to focus on my work, but I was much to jittery. I ended up closing my textbook and turning to the Internet to kill time. Almost fifteen minutes later exactly —I would know since I had been watching the time drag by —Levi walked into the cafe. He was dressed in black slacks and a white button-up. He must have come straight from work. His hair hung perfectly straight on either side of his forehead. The piercings in his left ear sparkled beneath his locks. His light gray eyes cast around for me. I gave a small wave when his eyes found me. He nodded and came over to my table.

"Hi," I said as he sat down across from me. I closed my computer and tucked my hands between my legs.

"Hi," he said.

"Do you wanna get a coffee first?" I offered awkwardly as gestured toward the counter.

"That's fine," he said with a shake of his head. He laced his fingers together and stared at the table between us.

"Soooo," I said slowly. "Sorry about my dad. He's kinda...drunk...all the time." I flushed and glanced down at the table. I had forgotten that this would be part of our conversation. There was no way Levi wouldn't have picked up on the fact that Grisha had been drunk, and I sort of had to acknowledge it.

"Not something you have to apologize for," Levi said. "I, on other hand, would like to apologize. I'm sorry you found out about, well, me from not me." He shrugged as his short apology came to a close. His cheeks had colored slowly as he spoke and he sucked on the inside of his lip.

"It was a bit of a surprise," I said. "Kinda caught me off guard."

"Kinda?" Levi said, arching a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know, it's not every day you find out the guy you fucked was one of the loan sharks that collected money from you family." I released a small laugh and shrugged.

Levi didn't find the humor in this. He winced at my words and stared down at his hands.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"It's not a big deal," I found myself saying quickly in a desperate effort to assuage him of the guilt that was written all over his face. "You were just doing your job. No big."

"Really?" Levi said scornfully. "You sure about that?" His eyes bore into me and a deprecating sneer twisted his lips.

"I, um." I hung my head and stared down at my hands. "It's just a lot to take in."

"I'm sorry," Levi said. "I was going to tell you everything, I don't really know where to start or—" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

"You don't have to explain it," I said. "It kinda is what it is you know. I'm not, I'm not  _mad_. I'm confused and little taken aback, but I've been thinking about it, of course." I gave a small, awkward laugh and rubbed the back of my neck. "I was really upset when my dad said you were one of the debt collectors from that time. He's kinda engrained it into me to hate loan sharks because of everything that happened, so that was my initial response —not, not that I hate you," I added hastily when I saw him frown. "Just, you sorta became this 'bad guy' or something like that, you know? But I really thought about it and that was just a gut reaction. Sure, you were one of those people from that time that really hurt my family, but you're not that person anymore and my dad had gotten us into that mess to start with. My mom —you didn't  _kill_ her," I tripped over the word and swallowed. "She had terminal cancer. My dad just compacts everything into one issue and blames the loan sharks for her death. If it makes you feel better, he blames me too." I laughed hollowly again.

Levi nodded slowly. He stared down at the table between us. I gave him some time to process everything. He spoke after another minute.

"Thank you for saying all of that," he said. "I'm sorry about your mother and that we were collecting from you when that was happening."

I just gave a small shrug.

"I just want you to know I haven't done that in years," he said. "I also had no idea that your family was one of the clients."

"Oh, don't worry about that," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "That was just Grisha being super fucking dramatic. He does that a lot."

"So, are we, are we good?" he asked cautiously as he glanced up at me.

"Yeah, we're good." I gave him a smile.

He let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"I'm glad," he said. His lips twitched in small smile. "If you want to know more about...all that, you can ask whatever you want."

"No, that's okay," I said with a shake of my head. "You would have told me on your own time; I don't want to rush you into anything, so you can tell me when you're ready."

"Thanks, Eren," he said.

"So, um." I flushed slightly as I cast him a mischievous glance through my lashes.  "Wanna get out of here?"

"It's still early," Levi said with a light laugh. "How 'bout we go to dinner and see where it takes us?" A small smirk twisted his lips.

"Nice," I said as I packed up my bag. My word earned a small chuckle from Levi and I grinned, excited that he seemed to be working his way out of his funk. I was also excited to mayhaps fornicate; he hadn't at all seemed opposed the hint I had dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suck at ending chapters lmao. but yeah they talked it out and it's all good. proud of these little babs


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a filler /fornicating/ chapter because i have NO idea what i'm doing with the plot. i only had up to the party planned so whoops. but hey no one's going to complain about smut, am i right

**Eren’s POV**

 

Levi sat down on the couch beside me and passed me the glass of soda he had gotten me. We had had Italian for dinner. Levi had slowly loosened up after our talk at the cafe and conversation had slipped into its usual comfortable easiness. Close to the end of dinner, Levi had breached the subject of allowance. He had given me a couple hundred dollars since we had met online. He had wanted to know if I would like him to still help me out. He had explained that he wouldn’t expect anything in return and the money would just be to keep me on my feet. He had blushed the entire time he explained this and I had had to force down a smirk. It was adorable the way even the tips of his ears would turn red when even implying money-for-sex.

We had finally agreed that he wouldn’t give me an allowance, but he would buy me clothes or any emergency necessities. He had been pretty insistent on helping me in some way, which was endearing. I had hesitantly pointed out that if we were going to see each other outside of an arrangement, I would feel uncomfortable taking money from him. He had agreed that it would 'warp the dynamic of our relationship’. Those had been his exact words. We hadn’t broached the subject of what exactly our relationship would entail. We did, however, return to Levi’s apartment after our meal.

I flipped aimlessly through the channels as Levi sighed and popped open the first few buttons of his shirt. I finally found a channel that was playing a movie I liked. I glanced over at Levi.

“This okay?” I asked.

“What is this?” he asked with a confused knit to his brow.

I had to admit coming into _Get Hard_ in the middle of it with Kevin Hart rubbing up against Will Ferrel saying “I wasn’t hard when you was up in it” would have confused anyone who didn’t know what was going on.

“ _Get Hard_ ,” I said.

Levi glanced over at me and looked even _more_ confused. I laughed at the expression.

“That’s the name of the movie,” I said.

“Oh, okay. Looks alright.” He shrugged again and turned his attention to the screen.

I explained the basic premise of the movie and Levi nodded slowly. He leaned back against the cushions and draped his arms over the back of the couch. I drew my knees up to my chest. When Levi didn’t protest—he did glance over at me so I knew he knew what I was doing—I tucked my feet underneath me. A couple of scenes played out before commercials interrupted the movie. 

“Hey, Levi?” I said.

“Mm?” He looked over me.

“Can I see your back tattoo?” I grinned eagerly at him. 

A slight flicker of his facial expression made my stomach drop.  _Wow, real fucking smart, Eren_. There was a reason Levi had worn a shirt while we had had sex and why he didn’t change in front of me ever. I seriously shouldn’t have asked about the tattoo. Fucking idiot.

“I mean, only if you want to,” I said quickly as I dropped my feet to the floor and twisted around to face him. “I know you have a thing about keeping your shirt on.”

“Oh, I have a thing now?” Levi said as he quirked an eyebrow.

“I mean, just that—I—“ My gaze dropped to the floor. “I saw the marks on your arm. I had forgotten about them when I asked to see your tattoo. I’m sorry.”

Levi stood up. His back was to me. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt all the way and slid it off his shoulders. It pooled around his wrists. I gasped quietly as I gazed at his back. He looked over his shoulder at me; dark ink shifted as his muscles moved. 

A twining, serpentine dragon encircled his left shoulder and shoulder blade. On his right shoulder blade was a minimalist black wing. The vertebrae of his spine were outlined in ink. My fingers reached out of their own accord and traced his spine to his waistband. He stiffened when I first touched him, but didn’t protest. A slow shiver worked down his spine as my fingers came to reston his tailbone. 

“So cool,” I said.

“Thanks,” Levi said with a small chuckle. He pulled his shirt back on and turned to face me. 

“Um, what’s that one?” I asked nodding to the scar-covered tattoo on his chest.

“My old gang’s symbol. I scorched it off with a lighter,” Levi said with a shrug.

“Shit, that must have hurt like a bitch.”

“Yes, just like a bitch,” Levi said with a sagely nod.

I laughed. I had no way of knowing who Levi had shown his tattoos to, but I felt incredibly honored that he had shown them to me. It made me feel special.

“Thanks for showing them to me,” I said. 

“You asked,” he said with a shrug.

“Yeah,” I said, hanging my head, “but, like…” Did it actually mean anything to him, showing me the tattoos?

His hand reached out and he ruffled my hair gently. 

“I wouldn’t show them to just anyone who asked,” Levi said, as if he could read my mind.

I looked up at him and a grin split my face. He laughed quietly and pushed me back against the couch. I gasped as he slid into my lap and straddled me. His shirt was still open and my hands ghosted over his firm abs. He leaned forward and pressed our lips together gently. I moaned quietly into the kiss and felt him smirk. I didn't usually kiss clients, which put my kissing experience at a grand total of three. On top of that, kissing Levi made my face feel like it was on fire, in a good way of course.

I pushed harder into the kiss. He gasped and I worked my tongue into his mouth. My hands gripped his hips. He wrapped his arms around my neck. I could feel my dick twitching to life in my pants as he rocked his hips gently against me. 

The kiss lasted for several minutes. At some point, he had forced my tongue back in my mouth and was shoving his practically down my throat. Holy shit he was a like a god with that tongue. I had no idea the roof of my mouth could be so sensitive. I was a moaning mess beneath him when he finally pulled back from the kiss. He had ground his hips down continuously on my crotch and as a result my erect cock was straining against my pants.

I whined in disappointment when he broke from the kiss. He smirked. His lips shimmered with saliva and were slightly swollen from the force of our kissing. He slid out of my lap and grabbed the front of my shirt. I gasped quietly. He leaned forward and braced himself on the back of the couch. My breath caught in my throat and my heart stuttered in anticipation.

“I want to fuck you over the coffee table,” he murmured in my ear.

“Please,” I practically whimpered. 

Levi chuckled quietly. He pulled me off the couch by my shirt. I dropped quickly to my knees and crawled to the coffee table. Levi moved behind me. His hand came to my shoulder and he pushed me down against table. He wasn’t rough, but there was a controlling feel to the grip on my shoulder that I didn’t want to challenge. He knelt behind me and undid my belt. I bit my lip and thrust my hips back desperately.

“Patience, brat,” he purred in my ear as he slid my pants down over my hips.

“Please,” I begged again. 

The fingers of his right hand wrapped around my cock and gave an experimental tug. I moaned quietly. His other hand trailed over my hipbone, my waist, and came to rest on my ass.

“Shit, I don’t have lube,” he muttered.

“Back pocket of my pants,” I said as my hips twitched.

“Why?” he asked as he fished out the bottle of my lube.

“You do know what my job is, right?” I said with a laugh. 

The cold splash of lube on my ass cut off the laughter in favor of a sharp gasp. Levi slid his fingers against my slick skin. He pressed the pad of his thumb against my puckered entrance. I pushed my hips back forcefully.

“Needy,” he remarked. He slid his forefinger into my hole.

I moaned and bit my knuckle. I panted wetly around the digit as he worked a second finger in. My passage spasmed around the intrusion and I groaned loudly. His grip tightened on my hips and I swore I heard a sharp gasp. He worked his fingers diligently, opening me up slowly. I mewed quietly as he scissored my walls. My hand dropped away from my mouth.

“Levi,” I moaned, “please?”

Levi pulled his fingers out of my ass. I whined at the loss of penetration. Levi quickly slicked his cock with lube and pressed the tip against my twitching heat. I exhaled slowly as he pushed inside of me. I could feel his hands trembling on my hips as he tried his hardest not to pound into me.

“’S okay,” I said. “You can put it all the way in.”

Levi sucked in a short breath. He shifted his hips slightly before slamming forward. I buried my teeth in my bottom lip to suppress a cry of pain. Levi was panting heavily as he bent over my body. His cock throbbed in my ass. 

“Okay to move?” he asked in a thick voice.

“Mm-hm.” The pain had faded, replaced by hot desire. I rutted my hips back against his pelvis to urge him on.

Levi pulled out and slammed forward again. He set a vicious rhythm. I cried out desperately and my fingers latched onto the far edge of the coffee table. The head of my cock slapped against the table with every thrust and I sobbed desperately. My toes curled and I buried my face in my arm. 

Levi pushed my shirt up my back and raked his nails along my spine. I cried out and arched back, grinding my ass against his hips. 

“Levi, p-please, will you touch me? Please.”

“Of course,” he purred. He placed a soft kiss on my lower back and I whimpered loudly.

His hand reached around to my front and fisted my cock. I mewed desperately as my hips bucked in his hand. He jerked me off at the same haphazard rhythm he was fucking me. I let out a short, desperate sob as my orgasm pool in the pit of my stomach.

“Levi, ‘m gonna cum,” I panted. 

“Good brat, you can come,” Levi said. He punctuated his words with well-angled thrusts to my prostate.

I cried out loudly as I came over his hand. Levi gasped as my passage tightened around his cock. My body fell limp against the table and I whimpered in a satisfied way as my spent, twitching cock shrank in his cool hand. 

Levi released my length and grabbed my hips with both hands. He yanked me off his cock and thrust back in. I whimpered as his cock slid against my pulsing walls. My body shivered in the wake of my orgasm and I moaned openly and loudly. 

“Fuck,” Levi hissed. His hips stilled and he came deep in my passage.

I gasped as his hot cum filled me up. My passage twitched around his cock, coaxing more cum out. Levi started to pull out, but suddenly stopped.

“Shit, we didn’t use a condom,” he whispered.

“I’m clean, I swear!” My head flew up and I looked at him over my shoulder with frantic eyes. I always used condoms with clients and I got checked monthly. I had barebacked Reiner and my TA, but we had checked first about STIs.

“Oh, no, don’t worry, Eren,” he said quickly as he stroked my hips. He gave me a small, reassuring smile. “It’s just going to make a mess when I pull out.”

“Oh,” I said with small sigh of relief. “Here, move the table away from me.” I lifted my chest off the table.

Levi reached forward and pushed it across the floor. I laid down on my chest. 

“Okay, you can pull out,” I said. 

Levi pulled out slowly. I clenched my ass as his dick slid out with a wet squelch. 

“You better hold it all in there,” he said.

“Or what? You’ll punish me?” I mocked.

“Yes.” 

I gulped and a shiver ran down my spine at the steely edge to his timbre. I reached my hand back quickly and slid two fingers into my ass, effectively plugging it up. Levi gasped as he stared down at me.

“There,” I said with a satisfied grin.

Levi nodded. He was blushing faintly as he rose. He moved quickly into the kitchen. I could hear him padding around. I groaned quietly.

“Please, hurry. This is embarrassing.” I pressed my face against the floor.

Levi chuckled quietly. He walked back into the living room and knelt behind me. He carefully drew my fingers out of my ass. He set to work cleaning out my hole and I swear I was moments from dying of embarrassment. To cover for this, I, of course, commented on the situation.

“I can’t believe you’re actually scraping your cum out of my ass,” I said with a light laugh. 

“I don’t want to make a mess,” Levi muttered. "Besides, it won't feel good if you keep it inside of you." When he had finished, he sat back on his heels. He patted my hip lightly.

I sat up and looked at him over my shoulder. We were both red in the face, and yet there was something both incredibly intimate and arousing about what Levi had just done.

“Can I take a shower?” I asked.

“Please do,” he said with a nod. “Also, I have to get up early tomorrow.” He stood up and moved into the kitchen to throw away the cum-soaked paper towels he had used.

“I can leave after my shower,” I said as I stood up and slid my pants and underwear back on.

“You can stay,” he said with a shrug as he walked back over to the couch. “As long as you aren’t bothered by me getting ready early.” He bent down and repositioned the coffee table. 

“That’s fine,” I said with an eager grin. I bent down and pressed a quick kiss to Levi’s lips.

“Are you, um…” He glanced away. “Are you going to be okay waking up tomorrow if no one’s here?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“Just that…” He fumbled around for the words. “You aren’t use to waking up here, so…” His voice drifted away. 

My eyes widened. I remembered how startled I had been when I had woken up his bed last time. It was truly so amazingly endearing that he had even thought of that. He sucked on the inside of his lip as he waited for an answer.

“I’ll be fine,” I said with a smile. I didn’t want to pass up the chance to sleep in Levi’s bed. For one it was an incredibly comfortable bed; for another he would be in it and even if we didn’t cuddle, it would still be nice to sleep next to him.

“You sure?” he asked. His eyes flickered to my face cautiously. He clearly didn’t want to push the subject, but he also wanted to make certain I’d be okay.

“Yup,” I said. I leaned down again and gave him another kiss.

“Okay. You can shower upstairs in my room,” he said as he glanced away. His cheeks were stained red with a blush. “I’m going to finish watching this dumb movie.”

“It’s good, right?” I said with a laugh as I walked over to the stairs.

“Passable.”

After I had showered, I returned to the living room. I had put on some of Hange’s spare clothes. Levi chuckled at the disheveled state of my wet hair, which I had rubbed aggressively with the towel and left to dry. 

"No wonder it looks like it has a mind of its own."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

Levi went upstairs to take his own shower and I continued watching TV in his place. About ten minutes after he had left the room, I heard the balcony floor boards creak slightly. I looked up. Levi was walking along the balcony. He was dressed in sweats and a short sleeved shirt. His wet hair was combed back. The shirt’s sleeves came to his elbows, so his scars were still hidden from view. He walked into the kitchen and offered me something to eat or drink. I declined. 

“Do you have class tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but not until the afternoon.” I had worked my schedule so I wouldn’t have any morning classes. 

“You can stay here as long as you like tomorrow,” he said as he joined me on the couch once more. He had a glass of water in his hand.

“Okay, thanks!”

“I’m going to stay up for a while longer, but feel free to go to bed upstairs whenever.”

The addition of 'upstairs' made my heart thrum. He wanted me in his bed and wanted to make sure I'd be there.

“Mm-hm.” I leaned against the arm of the couch and tucked my feet against the side of the cushion.

I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I woke groggily in Levi’s arms. He murmured quietly that he was taking me upstairs. I nodded and snuggled against his chest. I felt him stiffened against me, but since he didn’t shake me off, I remained curled against him. He laid me gently in bed and tucked me in. I curled onto my side.

“Good night, Eren,” he murmured quietly.

I grunted unintelligibly in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the 'minimalist black wing' is of course half of the survey corps symbol  
> also, you can follow me on tumblr; i'm toxzen there too


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based the sculpture i talk about in this chapter on this http://toxzen.tumblr.com/post/145832341492

**Levi’s POV**

 

_Thick hands coiled around my throat. My lungs burned as I gasped for air. There was pain everywhere. My skin felt like it was being seared off where the other man’s flesh grazed it. I choked and gasped. The pressure of a hundred screamed words bore down on me. I cringed beneath the spit-laden expletives. Pain blossomed in my lower-half and—_

I jerked violently upright. My hands shot out to cling the closest available surface. One gripped the bedsheets, while the other landed on warm flesh. 

“Mm, what’s…”

My breathing slowly calmed as I gripped the slender wrist in my hand. Eren shifted over onto his back. He blinked blearily up at me. His turquoise eyes practically glowed in the moonlight that spilled through the window. 

“What time is it?” he slurred out.

“Go back to sleep; it’s still early,” I murmured. I released my steely grip on his wrist and stroked his arm gently.

Eren sighed sleepily and burrowed against the mass of pillows. A small smile hitched my lips as I looked down at his adorable, comforting form. After I had taken a few moments for my heart beat to calm down, I slid out of bed and carefully tucked the covers back around him.

I needed a shower. My skin was crawling with the memory of those filthy hands on me. I crept quietly into the bathroom. I flicked on the light and closed the door carefully. I didn’t want to wake Eren completely; he had been so out of it just now that he probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning, but if I woke him up entirely, he would be worried.

There was’t anything to worry about, though. I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. This was a rather typical night for me. I didn’t even have to check the clock to know it was a little after two. I had long since grown familiar with the way light filled my room at odd hours of the morning. 

It didn’t matter that it had been four years since the contents of my dreams had played out in real life; I was still bombarded with the nightmares at a near constant rate. Sometimes I could go a night or two without the horrible interruptions, but that was only if I got lucky. I had tried all the tricks to mitigating the nightmares, including benign sleep aids like melatonin and less benign ones like alcohol. The latter worked, but also left me hazy and grouchy the next morning. Erwin also hadn’t appreciated my depleting his stores of wine, one because I told him I wanted to quit drinking and two because his alcohol was damn expensive.

Several minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and toweled dry. I returned to my room with just the towel around my waist, dumped my clothes in the hamper, and got dressed for the day, which wouldn’t truly begin for several hours. This was a typical morning routine for me, and why I had so much time to cook breakfast.

I left a short note for Eren before leaving my room for the day. I figured it would help ground him if he woke in a panic. 

The rest of the night—morning, really—was spent in my office catching up on some work. I had put off a few menial tasks in favor of going to dinner with Eren last night. Not that I was complaining since I had gotten laid in the process—and, shit, was Eren a good lay. He was so open and sensitive when we were doing it. It was incredibly cute, and arousing. He also made the best noises: little moans and desperate pants. 

Great, now I was getting hard. I forcibly turned my attention away from Eren and focused on work.

* * *

**Eren’s POV**

 

“Fuck!” I slammed my fist against the wall with all of my might, which only succeeded in causing pain to course from my knuckles to my elbow. I let out a harsh hiss through my teeth.

“Eren? Is everything okay?” Annie appeared in my doorway with a concerned expression pinching her eyebrows. 

“Fuck, yeah, I’m great,” I said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. I turned and slid my back slowly down the wall. I crouched on my heels and inspected the hand I had tried to bury in the wall. It was red and one of the knuckles was split and bleeding, but nothing appeared broken.

“What happened?” Annie asked. She wasn't fazed by my belligerent sarcasm, which always came out when I was mad.

“I didn’t win the art contest,” I mumbled. My eyes were beginning to prickle with hot tears and I quickly rubbed them against my arm. I had checked my email after returning home from Levi’s apartment. I had awoken alone in his bed—and just as startled as the last time—which wasn’t surprising since we had talked about him leaving early. What had been surprising was the short note he had left me. It had simply bid me good morning and told me there was food in the fridge. It had helped quell the racing anxiety in my chest; I had the feeling that this was why Levi had left it for me. I had folded it up and put in my wallet. 

“I mean I didn’t think I would get first, but to not even fucking place?” I let out a grating sigh. “God this is so fucking embarrassing. I didn’t even got an honorable mention, and I had actually thought I could win it? I’m such a fucking loser.”

“Eren, it’s not embarrassing to not get what you wanted,” Annie said. She crossed the room and crouched down in front of me. “You’re disappointed, angry, upset, but you don’t need to feel embarrassed. You really wanted this and I don’t know much about art, but I think the piece you submitted deserved some recognition.” Annie wasn’t the type of person who would say such a thing just to make someone feel better about themselves; she actually meant it.

The piece I had submitted was one of my personal favorites, which made this all the more painful. It portrayed an androgynous figure with their chest torn open. Flowers dripped out of the gaping hole. I had done the piece for Hannes last semester, and he had told me it was one of the best pieces he had ever seen.

“Thanks,” I said with a small sigh. 

“Do you know who did win?”

“A bunch of fucking seniors,” I spat.

“Honestly, that’s probably why they won it then.” Annie dropped onto her ass and crossed her legs. “That’s a pretty prestigious award and it would look fancy on a resume. The college probably wanted to give them an extra boost.”

“So you’re saying they won even though my art was better?” I growled quietly. “And I fucking needed that cash prize too. I know the kids that placed. They just let their parents foot the bill for everything. They don't need the money.”

“Maybe go talk to Hannes about it? He’s the one who suggested you enter the contest, right? Talking to him about it would be a lot more effective than denting the walls.” Annie pointed to the wall above my head.

I glanced up and noted I had left a pretty impressive dent in the white plaster.

“Shit, my bad,” I said. 

“Lemme see your hand.” Annie took my hand gently in hers and inspected. “Well, you must have some good punching technique because nothing’s broken.”

“Good, I can’t afford a hospital visit. Fuck.” I dropped my head back against the wall. “I really needed that cash prize. I’m going to have to go back to sugaring full-time.”

“Are you making headway on the scholarship?” Annie asked. She released my hand.

“I have to get my grade up in Calc. They also sent me a bunch more paperwork to fill out. It gives me a headache just looking at it.” I rubbed the back of my neck with my uninjured hand.

“Maybe have Levi go over it with you? His job is basically to look at boring paperwork; I’m sure he won’t get a headache from it.” She offered me a small smile.

“Yeah,” I said with a light chuckle, “I’ll ask him about it.”

“Maybe he can also scare your Calculus professor into giving you an A,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Don’t joke about that,” I said, though a grin had split my face. I had told Annie all about the confrontation she had witnessed the tail end of, so she knew that Levi had been a loan shark. “I’m going to ask Armin to help tutor me.”

“That’s a good idea.” 

She rose and held out her hand. I took it and she hauled me to my feet.

“I’m going to get back on the arrangement site and see if I find some wholesome fellows,” I said with a defeated sigh. 

“Alright, let me know if you’re going to meet with anyone." Annie always asked to see the profiles of the guys I planned to meet before I actually met them. "I have to get to class.”

“Okay, see you later.”

I hadn’t gone on the arrangement website in a while, so my inbox was packed full of messages. I scrolled through them ideally and found a couple of guys who didn’t look like serial killers. Then again, Dave hadn’t looked like what he was capable of, so I couldn’t be sure, but, hey, that’s why I took precautions like having Annie teach me self-defense.

I ended up scheduling two arrangements for the weekend. Levi had a business trip that he was leaving for on Friday, so I wouldn’t cutting into potential date time. It gave me a small thrill to think that I was actually dating a guy. I mean, we hadn’t officially said we were dating, but Levi had said the party was a date and I counted last night as a date too. All in all it was looking a lot like we were dating. 

This was also the first time I had ever dated a guy. Reiner and I had just hooked up, same with all the other guys I had seen who weren’t clients. I didn’t have a lot of time on my hands to spare for a relationship. On top of that, whenever a guy found out what I did for work, they always dropped my ass. They were all perfectly content with taking advantage of my experience in the bedroom, but the idea of committing to someone who slept around for money skeeved them out. Levi was incredibly shy about the sugaring, but he wasn’t judgmental of it. I just had to hope that wouldn’t change anytime soon. 

When two-thirty rolled around, I left the apartment and headed for my class. I had an art history lecture at three and wanted to stop by the cafe to get some coffee. It was a seminar class, which translated to four hours of agonizing boredom. I loved doing the readings for the class, but the actual lectures were always hellishly boring. 

On the walk over I texted Levi about not getting the award. I didn’t get a text back until I was walking into the class room. He sympathized greatly with me. I had only mentioned the award once to him, but I had come off pretty hopeful about it, not just getting an award for my art, but also getting the cash prize, so he knew how much it had meant to me. 

We texted throughout my lecture. He had scolded me at first for texting during class, but then I had asked him if he was in a meeting, and he had admitted that he was. He also asked if he could ever see my art. I frowned down at my phone. I had never considered showing my work to him. Only Mikasa, Armin, Annie, and Grisha had ever seen my pieces. The latter had always sneered at my art and called it lousy. His opinion didn’t actually mean anything though and he’d only ever seen my high school work when I left my homework out. All of my friends loved my work and not just because they were my friends. All the same, showing Levi seemed a lot more personal. This probably had something to do with the fact that my current piece had morphed into being subconsciously based on him.

_You don’t have to if you don’t want to_ , Levi wrote after I hadn’t replied for a few minutes.

**Me  
** _No, I want to. There are just some that are more personal.._

**Levi  
** _I get that. You can show me whichever ones you whenever you want_

**Me  
** _Ok cool I can bring my sketchbook the next time I see you_

**Levi  
** _Sounds good. I’m free Thursday night for dinner or a movie. I can’t do a sleepover because I'm going to spend the night at Erwin's and leave first thing in the morning_

At that moment I got a new email from Hannes. I opened it to see what it was about. Hannes only ever emailed us about assignments. His email was about the portrait class I was taken with him. We already had our final assignment for our other class. I read through his email quickly. The final assignment would be a nude portrait series in either pencil, charcoal, or paint. Hannes was flexible about media in this class as well, though not so flexible that I could do clay. We did mostly nude portraits in this class. Reiner had teased me about this, saying it was the only reason I had wanted to take the class until I informed him that most of the models were girls. His only response to that was to mumble how he could into the class, which had earned him a cuff over the head from Annie. 

From the looks of things we were expected to get our hands on our own nude model. We of course had the department’s models to pick from, so it wouldn’t be hard to get someone for the job.

A sudden thought struck me, one that made me both unfathomably nervous and excited.

**Me  
** _This is really out of blue I know, but my professor just emailed us about our final project. It’s a portrait series and we need a model. I was kinda wondering if you could model for me…?_

Jeez-us. What was I thinking? God this was so embarrassing. It was bad enough that I had accidentally turned my fallen angel piece into a portrait of Levi, but now I was actually _asking_ him to model for him.

**Levi  
** _Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem_

**Me  
** _Actually it might be...it’s just that…it’s nude modeling…is that still okay?_

I waited with bated breath for Levi to reply. I knew he was self-conscious about his scars, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he said no. My phone buzzed and I cautiously glanced down at the message.

**Levi  
** _That’s no problem_

**Me** _  
Are you sure?_

**Levi  
** _Yes, we’re sleeping together. I’ve already seen you naked and you were bound to see me naked too. Besides, you’ve already seen the only things I try to hide from people_

**Me  
** _Sorry about that uvu_

**Levi  
** _The fuck is ‘uvu’_

**Me  
** _It’s an emoticon_

**Levi  
** _What the fuck?_

**Me _  
_** _It’s a face like the u’s are the eyes and the v is the mouth or something._

**Levi _  
_** _That’s fucking weird but whatever. And don't worry about seeing the scars. It wasn't your fault. Do you want to meet Thursday? You can show me some of your art and then I can model for you? Do you have a certain place you need to draw?_

**Me _  
_** _Thursday works! And no I can draw anywhere, but can we do your apartment? Mine’s a little cramped if I'm using a model_

**Levi _  
_** _Sure. I can pick you up from class and we can go to dinner and then go back to my place_

**Me _  
_** _Awesome!_

**Levi _  
_** _It’s a date then._

My cheeks flushed bright red and dropped my head on my notebook. I was blushing so much I half-expected steam to come out of my ears.

**Me  
** _Yeah, see you Thursday_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always for the lovely comments! i love getting them!   
> and i started reading this manga the sleepy residents of birdcage manor which is why levi's suddenly going to be a nude model for eren lmao


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to be leaving for vacation on monday (it's friday the first rn) i don't know how much i'll be updating, or if i'll get another chapter in over the weekend but i just wanted to let everyone know!  
> hope everyone enjoys this chapter~

**Eren's POV**

 

“Hannes, I need to talk to you," I said as I jumped off the bench. I had been sitting outside of the art studio for the last twenty minutes, waiting for Hannes to appear for our Thursday class.

“Is this about the art contest?” Hannes asked. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the studio.

“Yes,” I said as I stalked into the room behind him.

Hannes sighed as he walked to his desk at the far end of the studio. He put down the portfolios he had been carrying and turned around.

“You should’ve at least placed,” he said.

“I—wait, what?” I said, cocking my head to the side. He had just completely derailed the bitch fit I had been moments from throwing about not placing.

“You should’ve placed,” he said. He folded his arms and leaned back against his desk.

“Really?” I said, a happy blush crawling over my cheeks. 

“Were you about to throw a tantrum about not placing?” Hannes asked with a chuckle.

“It was going to be a bit more dignified than that,” I mumbled. “I’m still pissed, though.”

“Alright, you have ten seconds to throw a fit about this,” Hannes said as he checked his watch.

“Is it true that the people who won won because they’re seniors?” I said in a rush. “That’s what my friend said, and that’s so fucking stupid. Like if my art's better I should at least place. But no the old fartsy judges went with fucking seniors just to make their resumes look good. That’s so fucking stupid.“ I drew in a grating breath, but Hannes raised his hand.

“Time’s up,” he said. “First, I was one of those old fartsy judges, so ouch.” Hannes held a hand old if his heart in feigned hurt, but he was grinning. “Second, yes, they won because they’re seniors. I tried to make your case to the other faculty members, but they weren’t having it. I’m sorry, Eren.” He patted me gently on the shoulder. “I know how much you wanted that prize. There is good news though.”

“And what’s that?” Now that I had unleashed my tirade, I was feeling drained, though still peeved. I slouched forward and dug my hands into my pockets.

“Your work will be featured in the art show next weekend,” Hannes said as he folded his arms.

“So?” I said with a shrug. “Isn’t that just some regular ol’ students’ art show?”

“You didn’t read through the information on the art contest did you?” Hannes said with a chuckle.

“No,” I muttered and rubbed my neck in embarrassment, “I just saw the three figure prizes and entered the contest.”

“The art show is open to the public and all of the art featured will be on sale, unless the artist doesn’t want to sell their work. Your piece was selected for the show.”

I had seen that my sculpture would be in the art show, but I had thought it was one of those lame shows that the department put on every once and a while that only students ever went to. I hadn't known that the show would be open to the public, or that someone could buy my art.

“Oh, man,” I said as I rubbed my hands together eagerly. “So my art could get bought by someone?”

“Yup,” Hannes said with a nod, “and there’s a good chance it will be. It’s an incredible piece, Eren.”

“Oh, shit, this is awesome,” I said. I was practically bouncing up and down. “Thanks, Hannes. Sorry I freaked out at you.”

“That was a perfectly reasonable reaction to an unfair result,” Hannes said. “How’s your final project coming along?”

We chatted idly until class started. I showed him what I was working on and he seemed impressed. He agreed that it still needed work. I spent the entire class at the back table with my headphones one hacking away at my fallen angel. It was taking shape pretty well, but something was still missing. Maybe I would throw flowers on it like I had my last project. At first that one had just been someone with their chest gaping open before I added the flowers for bit more flare. 

When there were ten minutes left in class, I got up and cleaned up my work station. I moved my sculpture into one of the cubbies that lined the wall. I covered it with a sheet to keep it from drying out. I collected by things and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I called a farewell to Hannes and he waved me out. He was a stickler for people getting to class on time, but didn’t care if you left a few minutes early.

I trudged out of the art building and looked toward the street. I had told Levi that I would be at the place he’d dropped me after suit shopping. He wasn’t here yet, so I perched on the edge of one of the marble steps that led up to the building’s double doors and pulled out my phone. I hadn’t checked it all class since I had been so focused on my art. Now I found a message from Levi, as well as one from Annie.

**Levi  
** _I’ll be a few minutes late._

He had sent that about thirty minutes before my class let out. I opted not to reply since he might be driving over now. It was about seven, which was when we had arranged to meet. I checked the text from Annie as well.

**Annie Leonhardt  
** _Mikasa has a tournament this weekend. It’s a qualifier for the next round of her bracket. She invited me to go, but doesn’t want anyone else to come. Maybe send her a good luck text Saturday morning though? I think she’s nervous_

**Me  
** _Okay! Thanks for letting me know! I’ll be sure to text her. And you don’t have to feel guilty about being the only one going. You’re the gf after all ;)_

Even though she hadn’t said anything, I could tell that Annie felt bad that Mikasa only wanted her to come and not me or Armin. I didn’t much mind one way or the other. I loved cheering Mikasa on, but boxing matches were always a bit too violent for my taste. I just didn't understand the appeal of punching someone for sport.

**Annie Leonhardt**  
_Haha._

I smiled. Annie and Mikasa weren’t official quite yet, but I still called Annie Mikasa's girlfriend and vice versus. I didn’t do this around Mikasa because she’d probably put me in a headlock.

At that moment the soft toot of a horn made me look up. Levi was leaning out the window of his Porsche. He gave me a small wave. I grinned and hopped off the steps. I ran across the courtyard to the street. Levi got out as I approached.

“Hey,” I said. 

“Hi,” he said. He walked around the car to the passenger side and held the door open for me. He was dressed in his typical black slacks and a dark green button-up.

“Thanks,” I said with a blush. I ducked my head and climbed in.

He nodded and closed the door behind me. I waited until he had climbed back in to speak again.

“Sorry I’m not fancier,” I said as glanced down at my torn jeans and t-shirts.

“You’re perfect,” Levi said as he pulled away from the curb. His words made me blush even more fiercely. “How was class?”

“It was good. I talked to my professor about the art contest.”

“Did he admit that it was rigged?” Levi asked. 

I had gone off about how only seniors had placed over text with him last night. He had sympathized with me and agreed that their was a conspiracy afoot.

“He did actually,” I said with a laugh. “I think he’s pretty pissed about it. But he did tell me that my work is going to be in an art show next weekend. It’s going to be up for sale too, so I can actually make money off of it.”

“That’s great,” Levi said with a small smile.

“Do you wanna come?” I asked. I suddenly wanted to show off my sculpture to Levi. Even though it hadn’t won anything, Hannes had pumped up my confidence about it when he’d said I should have placed and also that I’d be selected for the art show.

“When is it next weekend?”

“Um, I don’t know exactly. I’ll check.” I pulled out my phone and quickly searched through my emails for the condolences-you-suck email—as I had christened it—which had information on the art show as well. I scanned through it quickly. “It’s on Saturday. From seven to ten in Gallery Rose. Oh, neat. That’s a really cool gallery downtown.”

“I know the one,” Levi said with a nod. “I’d love to go.”

“Really? Awesome!” I said, flashing him an excited grin.

“We still on for your drawing and me modeling tonight?” he asked. We were at a red light so he looked over at me.

“Yeah,” I said. “I have all the stuff I need in here.” I lifted my backpack.

“Good, and remember, my price for modeling is you showing me some of your sketches, okay?”

“Yeah,” I said with a laugh. “You got it.”

* * *

Dinner was an incredibly entertaining affair. We decided to go somewhere casual because I didn’t feel comfortable going somewhere fancy dressed as I was. I took Levi to the conveyor belt sushi place in the mall and he was adorably perplexed by how the food came to us on the little conveyor belt. Once he had gotten over how fascinating the serving method was, we struck up our typical, amusing conversation.

Afterward we returned to Levi’s apartment. We piled onto the couch and I showed him a few of my sketches. I didn’t show him any of the rough drafts of my sculpture that would be in the show because I wanted that to be a surprise. I did show him the sketch of the piece I was working on now. The sculpture had morphed into being of Levi while I was carving it, but the sketch didn’t feature his tell-tale characteristics like his undercut, so I didn’t feel embarrassed about it. He was incredibly impressed with my work and ooh’d and ah’d as I flipped through the pages. Considering how critical he was of clothing and how not shy he was about sharing his opinion, I knew that he was being honest when he said my art was amazing. His words filled me with a warm glow and left me grinning. Finally, we wrapped that up and decided to get started on my homework.

“So, where do you want me?” Levi asked as he got up off the couch.

“You can stand in front of the dinning room table,” I said as he moved into position. “Yeah that’s good.” I hopped off the couch and settled on the edge of the coffee table.

“Is that a comfortable place for you?” Levi asked.

“Yup, this is perfect. You can take off your shirt and pants.” I blushed fiercely and busied myself getting my pencils out of my bag.

“I thought this was nude modeling,” Levi said as he slipped off his pants. He folded them and laid them over the back of a dining room chair. He took off his socks as well and placed them on the chair. Then he began to slowly unbutton his top.

“We’ll work up to that,” I said. Even my ears felt like they were burning now from how much I was blushing. “Yeesh, so overeager.”

Levi chuckled quietly. I glanced up as he took of his shirt. I bit my lip as my eyes trailed over his body. His legs were slender and surprisingly lacking in hair. He was dressed in tight, black boxer briefs that clung to his bulge. His stomach was flat and hinted at a six pack. He kept his arms close to his body and I knew this was to hide his scars from view.

“Hold your shirt over your shoulder,” I instructed in an attempt to cover up the fact that I was ogling him.

“Like this?” Levi hung his shirt on two fingers and tossed it over his shoulder. He settled the back of his hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, perfect.”

In this position Levi's left bicep was tucked close to his chest, which concealed his self-harm marks from me. 

“What about my other hand?” Levi waved it limply.

“Run your fingers through your hair. Ooh, stop. Wait no go a little further. Lift your chin a little and raise your elbow. Good. Okay hold that.”

“Easier said than done,” Levi mumbled. 

“If your arm gets tired, you can take a rest, but just let me know before you move,” I said. “Oh, and can you do that thing where you tuck your toes under your foot and like stand on them.”

“I didn’t know I had so many ‘things’,” Levi mumbled, but he complied. He bent his right knee slightly and stood on the knuckles of his toes. He rested the heel of his foot lightly on his left calf.

“Perfect,” I said. “That’s perfect.” I hunched over my sketchbook and got to work.

Levi honestly looked like he should be on the cover of GQ magazine or some shit like that. His body was perfectly toned; my favorite part were the little hollows by his hip bones.  Levi was also incredibly good at modeling in the sense that he could remain perfectly still. He didn’t even twitch at odd intervals. He watched me work with evident interest. After about seven minutes though, he did speak.

“This is going to get a little boring for me,” he observed as he tapped his heel against his leg.

“We can talk while I draw,” I said.

“Oh, good.” He gave a small, relieved smile. “How long have you been doing art?”

“Since high school. We just had the basics like drawing, so I didn’t get into sculpture until college.”

“Is that your favorite media?”

“Yeah, I like how, like, intimate you get with the material. Cause you’re touching it and stuff.”

“Kinky,” Levi said in a bland voice.

“Shut up,” I mumbled. I knew it was weird how drawn I was to the tactile side of sculpture.

“Don’t worry. I get it,” Levi said with a laugh. “It must be fun to create just with your hands. It’s different than using a pencil or something.”

“Yeah, exactly.” I beamed, happy that he understood. "Also, if you mess up, it's super satisfying to smoosh it in your hands."

“Do you know what you want to do after college?”

“God, I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to graduate,” I said with a shake of my head. I had mentioned the extra paper for the scholarship to Levi during dinner and he had agreed to help me go through it, but I was still nervous that I wouldn't get the scholarship. Honestly, if I didn't, I might need to start taking fewer classes, which would put off graduating. “I really just wanna do art. I want my work in museums and to sell it to collectors and galleries and stuff. Basically I want to be the cliche, starving artist.” I sighed quietly and sketched Levi’s jawline on the page.

“You could make it work, I bet,” Levi said. “I’m going to roll my shoulders.”

“Okay,” I said. I glanced up and Levi slowly straightened and adjusted his shoulders before falling back into the pose. 

“Did you always want to go into marketing? Like back in high school we you like 'I want to be a marketer.'” 

“Fuck no,” Levi said. “I mean, I never had any real direction in high school, which was what ended up screwing me over. I failed most of my classes and didn’t have the grades to get into any colleges. Not that I applied anyway. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, but I definitely had struck boring, white-collar job off the list.”

“Then why are you in marketing?” I asked. 

Levi had never opened up this much about himself before. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was standing in front of my almost completely naked.

“Because Erwin gave me a job and no one would have hired someone without a college degree to any sort of job other than a minimum wage one,” Levi explained.

“That makes sense,” I said. That was honestly the only reason why I was dragging my broke ass through college. I knew I had to get a real job—I couldn’t just be an artist—and the only way I could get one that paid well was if I had a degree. “If you could have what ever job you wanted, what would you do?” 

“Well, when I was in high school, Hange and I made up all these stories,” Levi said. His brows pinched together and he frowned as he thought back. “That’s where the wing tattoo came from. Hange has the same one except as an outline, not filled in, on their left shoulder. In the story we made up the wings were called the Wings of Freedom.”

“That’s where your username on the site came from!” I said. I had forgotten about his UN until now, but I was excited to have discovered the source of it. It had been such a cool and original username for a sugaring site. 

“Yup, Hange made that up for me,” Levi said.

“What’s the 23 then?”

“My lucky number.”

“So, do you wanna be a writer or something?”

“Mm, I’ve never really thought about doing anything other than marketing, but I had fun creating the stories with Hange.”

I smiled. Levi had a faraway look in his eye and I could only imagine that he was thinking about making up stories with Hange. I didn’t want to disturb his remembering so I focused on my drawing. I had the general outline done now, but as I filled in the details, a sinking feeling filled my chest. This just didn’t _look_ or _feel_ right. I steadily grew more and more frustrated as I worked. I think Levi picked up on this because every time I looked up at him, he was watching me with a small frown.

Finally, I simply gave up. I let out a loud groan and slid off the coffee table. Levi raised his eyebrows. I slid down so only my head was leaning against the table. I propped my sketchbook against my thighs and scowled at it.

“It doesn’t look right,” I complained. I raised my pencil to scratch it out.

“Whoa there,” Levi said. He crossed the room quickly, tossing his shirt on the arm of the couch as he went. He caught my wrist and knelt down in front of me. “I had to stand around for almost half an hour in an awkward position and you wont even let me see what you came up with?”

“It sucks,” I grumbled.

“Lemme see.” Levi released my wrist and took the sketchbook from me. “I like it,” he said. “It doesn’t look much like your other work.”

“It’s not, something’s off about it. I don’t like it. You can tear it up.”

“I’m not going to tear it up,” Levi said. “Even if it didn’t come out how you wanted, you still worked hard on it.”

“It sucks.” I knew I was being slightly unreasonable about it. It wasn’t a terrible picture; it just wasn’t perfect.

“Maybe it didn’t come out how you wanted it to, but it’s still good practice. If you go for perfect every time, you’re just going to get frustrated and get yourself stuck in a rut.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled. “Whatever.”

“Don’t sulk, brat,” Levi chided. He tapped me on the head with my sketchbook. “How ‘bout you take a break and watch some TV. Then you can try again.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a sigh. “I’m done for tonight, but watching TV would be nice.”

Levi nodded. He put the sketchbook on the table and got to his feet. He held out his hand and helped me to my feet.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. I didn't just mean for helping me to my feet. Levi's words had cleared up my frustration.

“No problem,” Levi said as he picked up his shirt and slipped it on. “I’m going to take a shower. Put something on for us to watch. I’ll drive you back your apartment at eleven.”

“Sounds good,” I said as sat down on the couch. 

I found a Quentin Tarantino film for us to watch. Levi was a little put off my the gratuitous amount of blood, but he enjoyed the film. I had no idea how he'd managed to go twenty-six years without seeing  _Kill Bill_ , but stranger things had been known to happen. We decided to finish the movie even though it would be past midnight when it finished. Levi was fine with driving late though. 

He said that after he took me home, he would continue to Erwin's. They were driving together to the conference tomorrow morning.  During the commercials, Levi packed for the trip. I offered to help, but Levi looked at me like my mere presence would be like shitting in his suitcase. I pouted at him and he ruffled my hair in a soothing fashion. 

"I have a system," he said.

This wasn't a surprise. Levi had a system for everything that involved organization. Once the movie was over, I packed up my backpack and we left the apartment building. The drive was short, since there was barely anyone else out at this hour. 

"Here we are," Levi said as he pulled up in front of my apartment.

"Thanks for dinner, and modeling, and driving," I said, my brows crinkling more and more with each addition.

"You could just say 'thanks for everything,'" Levi pointed out with small chuckle.

"Yeah, but that just sounds dramatic and —" 

Levi's soft lips pressing against mine cut me off. I gasped quietly and my eyes flickered shut. His hand cupped the back of my neck. I reached out and caught his knee, desperate to hold onto something. I mewed quietly as his lips worked against mine. When my head began to spin from minimal oxygen, Levi pulled back.

"Have a good night," he said quietly.

"Um, yeah," I said as I blinked at him. "Have a safe drive."

"I'll text you when I get there," Levi said.

"Thanks." I smiled.

Levi pecked me quickly on the lips once more. When he pulled back, I sucked my lips in like I could capture the kiss. Levi smiled. I flushed brightly and clambered out of the car. He waited for me to get into the apartment building. Once I had gotten the door open, I turned and waved. I couldn't see him from where I stood. His car pulled away from the curb and zipped down the street. 

Exhaustion washed over me as I made my way upstairs. When I had finally reached my room, I fell onto my bed. I crawled out of my jeans and curled up on my side. I gave a stupid giggle as I thought back on the kiss in the car and the entire night in general. Fuck, I really liked him, like  _a lot_. I sighed happily and nuzzled against my pillow. I waited up until I got a text from Levi. I drifted off a bit, but when my phone finally buzzed, I jerked upright.

**Levi**  
_Made it to Erwin's. I had a nice time tonight. Let me know when you need me to model again_

** Me  
** _ I'm glad you made it! Good night :) _

** Levi  
** _ Night _

I smiled and finally let myself fall asleep for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> levi and hange's story is basically snk lmao  
> hope it was a good chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found a patch of internet to upload this! it's a pretty long chapter (almost 4000 words), but nothing wrong with that. it's also a little heavier than i had expected. CW: suicidal thoughts

**Eren’s POV**

 

Levi was so busy with his conference that he didn’t have time to text me. I was by no means bitter about this fact. I simply missed our amusing conversations. On top of this, all of my friends were busy this weekend as well. Annie was at Mikasa’s boxing tournament and Armin had a shit ton of work to do, so he’d barricaded himself in the library. The other people in our friend group also had work or personal commitments this weekend. I was feeling a touch lonely because of this. I had met up with a sugar daddy for lunch, but he’d been a bit of a douche. I got a hundred dollars from him which was nice, but that arrangement wasn’t going anywhere. For the rest of the afternoon, I had worked on my final project for Hannes class, but locking myself away in the art studio only proved to amplify my need for human interaction.

This was the reason behind why I found myself wandering down a dorm hallway in search of Thomas Wagner’s dorm room. Thomas Wagner was my Calculus TA, and, no, of fucking course I wasn’t going to hook up with him, which had been Annie’s initial suspicion when I had been texting her in the afternoon and had mentioned going to his room. Wagner had invited me to a party he was having in his room. I didn’t usually go to these dorm gatherings since consumption of excessive libations were typical and I never felt overly comfortable around alcohol, but tonight I just wanted someone to hang out with. That being said, I was carrying a six pack of beer with me. I didn’t know Wagner’s friends and I figured I’d garner a warm welcome if I provided them with alcohol.

I found Wagner’s room at the end of the hallway. The party must have already started; I could hear loud voices and raucous music from the other side of the door. I knocked lightly on the door and was bid entry by a voice on the far side. I opened the door and quickly looked around for Wagner.

“Jaeger!” Wagner hastened over to me and slung an arm over my shoulders. “You made it. I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I’m here,” I said, trying to ignore the fact that Wagner’s arm had slid down to my waist. “I brought some beer.” I held up the six pack.

“Great, thanks.” Wagner gave my ass a squeeze before taking the beers from me. 

Wagner was a pretty handsy fellow to begin with. Put on top of that the fact that it had been my idea to break things off and I found myself receving one too many ass grabs for my liking, as if that would help Wagner win me back. I didn’t say anything of course. I had the fairly consistent tendency for avoiding all forms of confrontation.

“Hey, everyone, this is Eren Jaeger,” Wagner called out over the various conversations and the pulsing music that filled the room. 

He garnered the attention of his friends who all looked over at me. I raised my hand in a small wave.

“Eren, this is Franz, Sam, Nac, and Myllus.”

The guys gave small waves or ‘hey’s when they were introduced. I nodded slowly as my eyes trailed over each of them. I probably wasn’t going to remember their names, but I didn’t feel too bad about that. They looked like a bunch of fraternity rejects, like Wagner, which oddly enough made them even douchier than actual frat bros. 

I went to the couch and sat down next to Nac. We chatted idly for some time. He was a sociology major, which was probably why I’d never seen hide-nor-hair of him in my three years at school, despite both of us being juniors. Our conversation was interrupted when Sam called out to me from the armchair he lounged in.

“Yo, Jaeger.” He spoke with a bit of a slur, which was testament to how much alcohol he had already consumed, and had taken up Wagner’s habit of calling me by my last name. “How much for a hook up?”

“Excuse me?” I said with a confused frown as I stared at him.

His question had drawn the attention of the others, all of whom glanced between me and Luke. I looked over at Wagner, who simply sipped his beer.

“Sex,” Sam said, demonstrating that act with his hands. “How much?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked with a slow shake of my head. I didn't think I’d ever mentioned my sugaring to Wagner. Then again I’d hooked up with him a couple of times after I had smoked with Sasha and Connie, so I might have let it slip when I was high.

“You have sex with guys for money, right?” Sam said. 

“I—“ I flushed and glanced over at Wagner, hoping he’d suddenly demonstrate some semblance of decency and bail me out of this situation. 

Wagner only sipped his beer. I had more or less admitted to selling my body when I had hesitated so I couldn’t lie my way out of it. On top of that Sam wasn’t clarifying a rumor; he was functioning under the close-to-correct assumption that I was prostitute. 

“It’s more complicated than that,” I finally said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“We’ll each give you a hundred each if you hook up with us,” Sam said. “Two hundred each if you let us do you as a group.”

“What the fuck?” I whispered. I turned to Wagner. “Your friend’s a prick; you know that, right?”

Wagner only shrugged as he continued to nurse his beer.

“Come on, that’s max sixteen hundred dollars,” Sam said. He was grinning as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with trying to solicit an orgy from me.

“You do need the money,” Nac pointed out. “I heard that you’re trying to get a scholarship.”

“What the fuck is with you dipshits and nosing around in my personal life?” I snapped. “And I’m not a prostitute. I don’t just have sex with guys for money. Where the hell did you hear that from?”

“I heard Reiner and Bert talking about it in the cafeteria one day,” Sam said with a shrug. “From what they were saying, it sounds like you do sleep around for money.”

“This is ridiculous,” I said as I got to my feet. “Did you fucking invite me here because your friends wanted to get laid?” I glared down at Wagner.

“You’re a pretty easy lay,” Wagner said with a shrug, “and you’re good in bed.”

“That probably comes from sleeping around so much,” Nac pointed out.

“You’re a fucking prick, Wagner,” I said with a dark scowl. I couldn’t believe this was happening. How was it that the entire world was steadily finding out about my side job? And god forbid people just roll with it. No, they had degrade me and try to weasel sex or money out of me. “I’m fucking leaving.” I started across the room, but Sam grabbed my arm as I passed.

“Hey, come on. We’ll do three hundred a person if you let us gang bang you,” he said as he got to his feet.

“I wouldn’t fuck you for ten thousand dollars.” 

I grabbed Sam’s wrist and twisted his hand off my arm. He yelped in pain. 

“Sonovabitch!” he yelled. 

I had used one of Annie’s self-defense moves, which could break someone’s wrist if you put enough effort into it. I didn’t need a lawsuit against me, however, and if this guy could give me three hundred for sex, then he could afford to take my ass to court. 

“If I hear any of you talking about this shit again, I’ll kick your fucking asses.” I spun on my heel and started out of the room. 

“You little bitch,” Sam snarled behind me.

I started to look back over my shoulder when a fist collided with the side of my head. I gasped in pain and stumbled. I tripped and fell on my knees. Wagner yelled something admonishing at Sam. My head was spinning with pain. I held a hand to my eye socket and moaned quietly.

“I’m going to beat your ass, you fucking whore,” Sam said as he drew back his fist again.

“That’s enough, Samuel. Get a fucking grip,” Wagner said as he grabbed his friends arm. 

Nac had gotten to his feet as well. Franz had looked mildly uncomfortable throughout this melodrama, but neither he nor Myllus had done anything to stop their drunk friends and they didn't move now either. Nac crossed the room and caught hold of Sam's other arm.

“Sam, you’re being a fucking dick,” he said. As if he hadn’t been calling me a broke whore—which I was. Didn’t give him the right to say it—a moment ago.

“Eren, are you okay?” Wagner asked.

“Fuck off.” I shoved myself to my feet and hurried to the door. I yanked it open and ran out into the hallway. I was moments from balling my eyes out and I didn’t particularly want to do that in front of those assholes. I made it to the stairwell before collapsing against the wall. 

I drew in a rattling breath as I tried to calm my haywire nerves. My head was pounding something fierce. I was going to have a wicked black eye tomorrow morning. I bruised easily in the first place and Sam had clocked me really hard. I let out a small sob as I tenderly brushed my fingers over my eye socket. 

I still couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. Wagner had invited me to a party so that I would have sex with his friends, or have a fucking orgy with them! What the fuck was wrong with the guy? Was he so pissed that I had snubbed him that he had decided to sell me off to his friends? I whimpered quietly at the thought. I wasn’t stupid; I had known it was only a matter of time before my sugaring would bite me in the ass like this. Sex work of any sort was frowned upon in general. I was by no means a prostitute, something closer to an escort, but I still exchanged sex for money. This made me deplorable and useable in the eyes of society. The thought made me want to start sobbing or throw up. 

I quickly left the dorm in hopes of getting back to my apartment before I had a complete breakdown. I really wanted to talk to Levi, but I also didn’t want to keep going to him with my problems, especially with the sugaring-related ones. It was my own fault that I had gotten into this situation tonight, as well as my fault that I had been in the situation with Dave. I was the whore after all. There wasn’t anyone else to claim responsible for this. This was on me and that was the end of it.

I made it back to my apartment before the dam broke and I was gushing tears like a broke faucet. Luckily all three of my roommates were out, so I didn’t have to worry about being accosted by their pity. 

I went straight to my room and slammed the door behind me. I collapsed against the smooth surface and slid to the floor. Shaky sobs wracked my body. My head was pounding and my eye was beginning to swell shut. I needed to get ice, but I didn’t feel like moving. What was the point anyway? It was truly starting to sink in now that the only thing I would ever be was a disgusting whore. This wasn’t something I could keep secret. My father knew; those frat rejects knew. It was only a matter of time until everyone at school knew. For the rest of my time at college I would either be looked at with disgust, like in the case of my father, or be solicited for sex as had happened tonight. This would probably follow me when I tried to get a job too. Who would want to hire a prostitute to work at their respectable establishment? No one in their right mind that was who. I had dug myself into a hole here in the simple, desperate effort to remain in school. I should have just dropped out and gotten a bunch of part time jobs to keep myself afloat. What type of person turned to selling sex to old men to pay the bills? A fucking disgusting one that was who. 

This tirade of self-deprecation continued for some time, though at this point my thoughts were just running around in circles as I continued to hammer in this notion that I was a completely useless and disgusting member of society. Eventually the crying subsided so at least I had that going for me. Crying always left me with a headache, which amplified the one from the budding black eye. 

I really wanted to talk to Levi still. It didn’t matter that I had already gone to him with my problems once before. I was spiraling in a way that I knew put me at risk for something dangerous. I had spun out like this once before, when my mother had died. I had had Armin and Mikasa there to keep me from swallowing a bottle of pills—literally. Mikasa had pinned me down and Armin had clawed the bottle from my hand — but right now I had absolutely nobody. Sure, I could call Armin, Mikasa, or Annie, and they would be here for me in a second, but none of them supported my sugaring. They had all tried to talk me out of it when I had first started. Me bawling to them about what a miserable excuse for a human being I was would just be a giant I-told-you-so for them. 

I needed Levi. He would get it. He’d done some messed up shit while he was in his gang, that much I had surmised from the little I had learned from him. He also didn’t seem to have any judgements with my sugaring, and I would probably know by now considering his tendency for honesty. We still had the policy in place that I wouldn’t call unless I really needed to talk to him. Levi didn’t like phone calls and he had to do enough of them for work.

I slowly pulled my phone out of my pocket and fumbled to open it. My head was spinning slightly. There was a chance I had a concussion, but hopefully I was just woozy from the pain. I typed out a short text to Levi and sent it before I had second thoughts.

**Me**  
_Hey are you free right now_

I dropped my phone onto the floor and climbed to my feet. I went to the kitchen to fetch a bag of ice. Now that I wasn’t a sobbing mess and I was actually going to try to talk to someone, I didn’t feel so self-destructive that I couldn’t ice my eye. I got some ice from the freezer and filled a plastic bag. I took a washcloth from the bathroom and wrapped the bag in it. When I returned to my room, I pressed the bag to my face and sat down on the floor again. I checked my phone and found that Levi had texted me back.

**Levi**  
_I just got back to the hotel room. What’s up?_

** Me  
** _ Can I call you? _

** Levi  
** _ Yes _

I took a minute to situate myself in the comfort of my bed before calling him. I put the phone on speaker and placed it on the mattress beside me. It barely rang once before Levi answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Levi.” God, my voice sounded fucking wrecked, like I had gargled sand.

“Are you okay? You sound funny,” Levi said, ever the honest one.

“Um, yeah, no, I’m…” I took a steadying breath. Just hearing Levi’s wonderfully calming voice was enough to push me to tears again.

“Eren, are you okay? Did something happen?” Levi asked earnestly.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Sort of, but if you’re busy, it’s okay. I’m fine really. It’s not a big deal.” I was rambling and there was an obviously panicked undertone to my words.

“Eren, it’s okay. I’m finished with work for the night, so I’m all yours. So, tell me. What happened?” There was trepidation in his voice and no wonder. The last time I’d called him in a state it had been because the worst case scenario had happened with a client.

“I went to this party thing tonight,” I said slowly as I tried to suppress a sob. “There were all these guys there and they…they…” Fuck this was so humiliating.

“Eren, what did they do?” Levi’s voice was quiet, but I could hear him clearly enough as if he were in the room with me.

I closed my eyes and pretended that he was.

“I don’t know how they found out, but they knew about the sugaring, and this one guy was trying to pressure me into having a fucking orgy with them.”

Levi released a sharp breath, one that seemed tinted with anger.

“They kept calling me a whore and then I tried to leave, but one of them grabbed me and I got him off of me using one of the moves Annie taught me, but then he punched me in the eye, and then I ran away,” I gushed out.

“Are you back at your apartment?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, I’m in bed.”

“Good. Are you icing your eye?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Good,” Levi said again. “You must be really upset. That’s a horrible thing to have happen.” His voice was tight as he spoke. I’d never seen him angry before, but he certainly sounded angry now. 

“I mean it’s not like it’s not true,” I said with a weak laugh. “I am a whore and it makes sense that Wagner just invited me ‘cause his friends wanted an easy lay.”

“Eren, you’re not a whore,” Levi said sternly. “You’re a sex worker, sure, but there’s a difference. You didn’t deserve that in the least.”

“But—“

“Eren, listen to me. Yes, you have sex with people for money, but that doesn’t define you as a person, and it certainly doesn’t mean you deserve such awful things to happen to you.”

“But now everyone’s going to find out and even if you say all that stuff, everyone is going to think I’m a slut and people will either be grossed out by me or think they can pay me to have sex with them,” I practically wailed into the phone.

“Eren, you’re catastrophizing,” Levi said. 

“I’m what?”

“Catastrophizing. It’s when you make a catastrophe out of something small,” Levi explained. “This isn’t the end of the world, but you’re really upset so that’s how it feels. Just take a deep breath. You’re going to be okay.”

“But I’m—“

“Eren, please don’t say you’re a whore or anything like that,” Levi said in a quiet voice. “You are so much more than just a sugar baby. You’re a brilliant artist and you’re a great…friend.”

Holy shit. Did I just get friend-zoned by the guy I was sort of seeing the same night I had been fucking propositioned for a gang bang? What the fuck? A small whimper escaped my tightly pressed-together lips. This was the absolute worst. I had thought being called a whore by Wagner’s friend was bad, but this? This took the fucking cake.

Levi was still talking, trying to assure me that this wasn’t cataclysmic, but I was too busy trying not to break down again.

“Thanks for answering when I called,” I said, interrupting Levi’s words. “I’m feeling a lot better now so I’m going to hang up.”

“Wait, Eren,” Levi began.

“I’ll talk to you later,” I said in a rush as I sat up. I grabbed my phone and quickly hung up. My heart was hammering in chest and I felt like I was going to vomit. Friends. We were just friends. Sure, we had had sex a couple times, but clearly to Levi that didn’t make us more than friends. I had been the only one thinking that we were dating.

My phone buzzed loudly. Levi was calling me. I quickly declined the call. Next he sent me a text.

**Levi**  
_Eren, are you okay? I didn’t mean to say something to upset you. I’m sorry if I did. Please respond so I know you’re safe._

Safe. I snorted. What the fuck did he care? We were just friends. He wasn’t my boyfriend. We barely even knew each other. The only reason we’d met was because I was a freaking sugar baby. I threw my phone across the room, lightly. Even pissed and upset, I had enough sense not to break my phone.

I went to the bathroom and took a long shower. Talking to Levi had helped in that I felt less like a useless and disgusting member of society. When I had been riding that train of thought, I had been close to wanting to find Annie’s anti-anxiety meds and downing at least eight of them. I felt a little less off the rails now, though I was panicking about something completely different now. Well, panicking wasn’t quite right. I felt so profoundly crushed, like all the energy had been drained from my body. I had never dated anyone before, and to have the guy I had thought I’d been dating reject me while I was having a mini freak out was an absolutely horrible plot twist to an already cruel night.

After about twenty minutes of letting hot water pound on my back, I climbed out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel, grabbed my clothes from the floor, and returned to my room. My headache had alleviated slightly, which was nice, but there was still a throbbing ache where Sam’s knuckles had clipped my eye socket. I didn’t bother looking at it in the mirror. My eye was almost completely swollen shut by now and it was probably showing signs of bruising. 

I pulled on a pair of sweatpants, climbed into bed, and curled up on my uninjured side. I would have to cancel my arrangement tomorrow. It wouldn’t do to show up to a meet with a black eye. That would be a surefire way to scare off the customer.

My eyes—or rather my eye—drifted shut eventually and I fell into an exhausted slumber. I woke who knew how much later to an insistent knocking on the door. I grumbled quietly as I rolled out of bed. I checked the clock on my bedside table. It was almost midnight; I had been asleep for a few hours. 

I padded out of my bedroom toward the front door, upon which someone was still pounding. If I wasn’t completely drained, I would be burning with rage right now. As it was, a muted irritation had taken root in my stomach. 

“What the fuck?” I snapped as I yanked the door open. 

Levi stood in the doorway. His hand, which had been raised to descend on the door once more, fell to his side. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored suit. His hair was slicked back from his face, which was paler than usual and twisted with more emotion than I’d ever seen before. He honestly looked terrified.

He threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around my neck. I gasped as he clung to me. He was shaking.

“You're safe," he whispered desperately in my ear. "You're safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i hope people like it!! i'm not too sure about it?? but that's what happens when you don't have a plan lmao (i have an idea for the next couple of scenes ie the art show but i needed something to happen 'this weekend')


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg such a huge response to the last chapter! all of the comments were so lovely. and shout out to the new wifi router that i found that actually does its job lmao

**Levi’s POV**

 

“Wait, Eren,” I begged as Eren made to hang up the phone. I must have said something to set him off, but I had no idea what.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said quickly and hung up the phone.

I pulled my phone slowly away from me ear and stared down at it. What had just happened? What had I done? I bit my lip and my hands began to shake. Eren had been an emotional wreck when he’d called me and I must have said something to upset him even more. I’d been hung up on like this once before; I knew this aching feeling of being cut off by a hurt and upset friend. I hadn’t done anything last time. I had to do something this time or I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I tried calling Eren, but he rejected the call. Shit, this was bad. I quickly texted him. I apologized for whatever I had done to upset him. I must have said something, but I couldn’t think of what. I had been thrown into a panic from just listening to him—I had also been so incredibly angry because of what those guys had done to him. Honestly, if I ever got my hands on them, I’d choke them out—and hadn’t been thinking too clearly. In the text I sent I also begged him to respond.

He didn’t.

“Fuck,” I whispered. I turned and hurried back down the hallway to the hotel room I was sharing with Erwin. I had gone out into the corridor when Eren had asked to call me. I had been horribly worried that something like the other weekend had happened again, and I didn’t want to have that sort of conversation in front of Erwin. Not that I didn’t trust Erwin, but I had wanted to give Eren as much privacy as possible. I slid my keycard into the slot and pushed the door open.

Erwin looked over at me from where he sat on the bed. The TV was tuned to a food channel. His long legs were crossed at the ankle before him. He had changed into loose pajama pants and t-shirt while I had been in the hallway. He frowned when I came rushing into the room.

“Levi, what’s wrong?” he asked. He could see the blatant panic that was plastered across my face.

“I have to go,” I said. “Will you take my bags back with you tomorrow?”

“I can drive you,” Erwin said as he swung his legs off the bed. He never questioned me in situations like this. Even when I had first started living with him, he had trusted me completely. It was incredible really and I had never experienced someone having such unwavering faith in me.

“No, I’ll take an Uber. You look exhausted,” I said. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was practically quaking with terror.

“Levi.” Erwin stood up and crossed the room. He laid his giant hands on my shoulders. “Take a breath.”

I nodded slowly and closed my eyes. I sucked in a long breath. I would never know what I had done to deserve such an incredible friend in Erwin. Nothing as far as I was concerned. 

Fuck. I suddenly realized what I had said to Eren that had set him off. I had said he was a “great friend”. The fuck was wrong with me? He wasn’t just my friend, but I had no idea how else to refer to him. He wasn’t my sugar baby—god that would be gross. We also weren’t dating so I had cast around for the next best thing and instead I had called him the worse possible thing in that situation. It took a special kind of stupidity to call the kid I had a ridiculously huge crush on a ‘friend’ while he was having a fucking panic attack.

“I have to go.” I shoved away from Erwin and hurried to the door.

“Levi, be safe,” Erwin said. 

I paused with my hand on the door handle. I glanced over my shoulder at him. I nodded slowly before pushing the door open.

* * *

**Eren’s POV**

 

“You're safe," Levi whispered desperately in my ear. "You're safe.”

“Levi, what are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I stood stock-still in his arms as he continued to cling to me. He was honestly terrifying me. I had never seen him so emotional before and the emotion he was depicting was one of fear, but why? He should have just called it a night and gone to bed. That was what friends do.

“One of your neighbors was coming in when I got here.” Levi’s voice was tight as he tried to control the rampant emotions inside of him. He stepped back and dropped his arms to his side. His eyes flickered to my face and he winced slightly when he caught sight of the horrible black eye that marred the left side of my face. He looked away quickly and stared at the doorframe by my shoulder. His cheeks were ghostly pale, but he had reigned his expression back to the typical taciturn one. 

“What are you doing here?” I repeated. I was feeling a lot less like I was riding a roller coaster of emotions, but I was still peeved about him calling me his friend. He’d had his dick in my ass for fuck’s sake; we’d graduated from friends long ago as far as I was concerned. Okay, that had been like a couple days ago or something, but still. 

“I, I was worried,” Levi said slowly. He swallowed and bit his lip.

“Weren’t you, like, three states away for that conference?” I said. “Oh, god, you didn’t make Erwin drive you back?” I raked my hand through my hair as the thought occurred to me. That would be so fucking humiliating if he’d made Erwin drive him to my apartment because I was having a fit.

“No, I took an Uber,” Levi said. His voice had gradually returned to its normal calm. He continued to stare at anything but me. His lip was trembling slightly and he latched onto to it with his teeth.

“Why?” I said again. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what was going on. How expensive had that ride been? Why would he pay that much to come see me? 

“I’m sorry,” Levi whispered. “I am _so_ sorry that I called you my friend when you were upset like that. I just didn’t know what to call us and I didn’t know it would set you off.” His voice remained barely above a whisper, but, because of our close proximity, I could hear him clearly. 

“It didn’t set me off,” I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. “I don’t care. We're friends. What else would we be?”

“Oh, okay,” Levi said slowly. His eyes were rooted on the floorboards between us now.“I’m sorry. I thought I’d upset you and that you…” He bit his lip.

“Fuck, you didn’t think I was going to kill myself or something.” I gave a short bark of laughter. Okay, I had considered doing just that or at least fucking up my system with Annie’s meds, but it had been a passing thought and I wasn’t quite as hopelessly wrecked with emotion as I had been the day my mother had died to really go through with it.

“Y-yes,” Levi said, his voice catching in his throat as he spoke. “The way you sounded on the phone and when you didn’t answer me. I just thought…I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

He turned to leave, but my hand shot out and grabbed his elbow before I could process what I was doing. He stopped and finally looked at me. I stared into his gray eyes and suddenly realized why he had jumped to this conclusion. There was that familiarity in his eyes, the same glint I’d seen when I was telling him about Dave. This had happened to him before. He stared up at me for a moment before quickly averting his gaze.

“I’m sorry; I’m okay,” I said quickly. “I was really upset and kinda thinking about that, but I swear I wasn’t going to do anything.” I shook my head emphatically. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s fine,” he said with a small shrug. His lip had started to tremble again and his cheeks had grown even paler if that was at all possible. He looked so pitiful standing there just outside my door in his fancy suit with his fancy hair and that absolute despair in his eyes.

I wrapped my arms around him and yanked him against my bare chest. He gasped quietly and stiffened for a moment, but then he melted against me. His arms snaked around my waist and he clung to me for the second time that night. His shoulders began to shake. I ran my fingers slowly through his hair as he’d done the times I had been upset. The pads of my fingers stroked the bristly hairs of his undercut. We stood like that for several minutes. He didn’t make a sound, but I could feel tears running down my chest. God, this had been a shit show of a night. First I had had a complete meltdown and now the man that rivaled Mikasa in the lack of emotions department was sobbing against my chest.

He finally pulled back and I released him. He was probably starting to feel a touch overwhelmed by the physical intimacy. He hung his head as he quickly wiped his face on the sleeve of his suit. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he wiped his tears off my chest with his sleeve. His eyes were slightly red-rimmed, but other than that there was no sign that he had been crying. Of course he wasn’t an ugly crier like me. 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Not your fault,” he said with a shake of his head. His voice came out as a tight croak. “I just thought…” He shrugged.

“This sort of thing happened to you before, right?” I said. “Someone hung up on you and then…did something…”

“Yeah,” Levi said quietly. “I hadn’t been a fucking asshole and called the guy my ‘friend’, but yeah. It was pretty much a reenactment of, of Farlan.”

“I’m really not upset about you friend zoning me,” I said with an uncomfortable laugh. I took a short step back and rubbed my neck.

“Right,” Levi said. He cleared his throat slightly. “We’re just…friends.” His face crumpled and for a moment I thought he was going to start crying again, but he quickly composed himself. “I can go now if you want.”

“Fuck,” I muttered as I dragged my hands down my face. “This is so fucking ridiculous.”

“What do you—?”

I grabbed Levi’s shoulders. He gasped quietly and stared up at me with wide eyes.

“I didn’t think we were friends, so, yes, I got super fucking upset when you said that because, yes, that was such a colossally douchey thing for you to say, and I’m still kinda pissed about it, but I’m a stubborn ass and didn’t want to admit to being upset about it. I still don’t think we’re just friends and I don’t want to be just friends.” I took a steadying breath as my tirade came to a close.

Levi’s face was flushed a bright pink by now and he continued to gaze at me with saucer-sized eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered.

“I don’t want you to apologize to me,” I snapped. I grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket and yanked him forward. “I want you to date me.” 

I bent forward and slotted our lips together. Levi gasped and my tongue snaked into his mouth. I pulled back from the kiss after a moment. Levi was even more flushed than before. He swallowed.

“O-okay,” Levi said as he nodded slowly. “I can do that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want to, to date you. I mean, I thought that we were dating, or at least starting to, but I didn’t know what to call us. I mean, we’re not boyfriends, so…” He frowned slightly as his gaze fell to my chest.

“Maybe we should be boyfriends, so you don’t stupidly call me your friend again?” I suggested. I released my hold on his suit jacket so I didn’t wrinkle the expensive material.

“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?” he muttered under his breath.

“Nope,” I said with a shake of my head. “That was a totally dickish thing for you to say and I’m going to remind you of that for at least a month.”

“Fine, I deserve that, and, sure, we can be boyfriends.” He said the last word hesitantly as if he was testing the taste of it in his mouth. “I’ve never dated anyone before, so I don’t really know…” He shrugged slightly.

“Oh, cool, me neither,” I said with a grin. “We can figure it out together then.” 

Levi’s lips twitched in a small smile and he nodded slowly.

“Do you want to come in?” I offered, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder toward the living room behind me.

“Sure,” Levi said.

“Cool,” I said as I stepped out of the doorway and let him pass. “Do you want to change? You can wear some of my clothes.”

“Sure, thanks,” Levi said.

We hadn’t quite returned to our usual, comfortable easiness. At least Levi hadn’t. I felt worlds better now that we were official, though my eye was still throbbing painfully and I was still annoyed and upset about Wagner and his friends. I took Levi back to my bedroom—he looked ready to have a mini heart attack when he saw the state of it—and pulled out sweats and a shirt. I tried to find the smallest I had for both, but Levi would still be swimming in them. I pulled on a shirt as well, since I was a little embarrassed about parading around half-naked.

I was right in assuming the clothes wouldn’t fit Levi at all. He’d gone to the bathroom to change and I had returned to the living room. I was sitting on the couch when he emerged. The sleeves of the shirt came below his fingertips and he’d rolled down the top of the sweats about four times, but his toes were just barely peeking out below the hem. I tried to stifle a fit of giggles. Levi scowled at me as he crossed the room.

“Don’t say a word,” he muttered as he dropped onto the couch beside me.

“Wasn’t going to,” I said, raising my hands in surrender. 

I turned on the TV so we wouldn’t feel obligated to chat. I had a feeling Levi had met his quota for sharing for the night. He ended up falling asleep on the couch with his head on my shoulder. He was an incredibly light sleeper, however, so my dreams of carrying him like a princess into my bedroom were dashed when I shifted out from under him and he woke with a start. 

I found him an extra toothbrush to use and we brushed our teeth together. I had been on the verge of just getting into bed, but Levi had given me a disgusted look. After we had finished freshening up—even though we were just freaking going to sleep!—we climbed into bed together. I took the inside of the bed at Levi’s hesitant request. I also gave him as much room as possible since I knew he wasn’t a cuddler. He lay down on his back with a small sigh. I pulled the covers over us and curled up on my uninjured side, which, I was happy to find, meant I was facing him. He fell asleep almost instantly. 

I closed my eyes and a small smile played over my mouth. Levi and I were officially boyfriends. We’d have to figure out what that meant with regards to my sugaring, but we were official, which meant no more ridiculously-timed friend zoning. I was so overwhelmingly happy about this that tears pricked at my eyes. I had a boyfriend and he didn’t care that I was a sugar baby and he’d fucking take an Uber three hours because he was scared for my safety. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect end to what had been the most horribly shitty night of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo they sorted their shit out and are now official boyfs! yay! i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. i already have part of the next one written and if the wifi holds out i'll be able to post it tonight (if i get the second half written)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised another chapter today so here we are!

**Levi’s POV**

 

I woke to the feeling that I was being baked alive. I groaned quietly and blinked my eyes open. I found Eren curled up beside me with his leg tossed over mine. I couldn’t entirely fault him for spooning me at some point during the night since his bed was so tiny. It was morning now, judging by the hazy glow his room was bathed in.

I sat up and slid slowly out from under him. His grunted quietly and rolled onto his back. The covers tangled around his legs and he draped his arm over his eyes. I smiled as I stared down at him. Simply put, he was adorable. 

I picked my phone up from the bedside table where I had plugged it in to charge. According to the clock, it was only seven-twenty. I left Eren’s bedroom and headed to the living room. I sat down on the couch and opened my phone. Erwin had texted me last night to check on me. I typed out a quick reply to alleviate his worry. As I waited for him to reply—he was most certainly awake by now—I dropped my head onto the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. I was horribly embarrassed about breaking down in front of Eren last night. I had only ever cried in front of Erwin. I had felt so naked while I sobbed against Eren’s chest. That feeling wasn’t one I wished to experience again and yet, all the same, I had felt safe with Eren. I felt a little bad that I had forced him to take care of me when it was his night that had been a complete wreck, but we’d managed to sort things out by the end of the night. I still couldn’t quite believe I was officially dating the kid. I’d never dated anyone before. Being a gang member didn’t translate too well to having a significant other.

The sharp buzz of my phone interrupted by thoughts. I glanced down at the screen.

**Eyebrows  
** _I’m glad you’re safe. I’m leaving the hotel now. I have your bags. Text me if you need anything._

**Me  
** _Thanks_

I exited out of my messaging app and found a random game on my phone. I was a little hungry, but I didn’t want to go nosing around Eren’s kitchen without his permission. A few minutes later I heard the rattling of a set of keys and the door was worked opened. Eren’s blonde roommate stumbled in. Her backpack had slipped into the crook of her elbow and she was talking to someone on the phone as she kicked the door shut behind her.

“Babe,” she said in an exasperated voice, “just buy as much fricking fruit as you want. I can assure you there isn’t any in the fridge…Yes, we still have a blender here for you to make your weird ass protein shakes…Yes, they are weird; they taste like chalk.” Annie toed off her shoes as she pulled her bag back onto her shoulder. She looked up as I rose awkwardly from the couch. “I have to go.” She hung up and slid her phone into her back pocket.

“Hey,” I said.

“You’re Levi, right?” Annie said as she walked down the short entry hall. She stopped a few paces from the couch and folded her arms.

“Yes,” I said, “and you’re Annie.”

“Mm-hm.”

We looked each other up and down for a few seconds. I was about two inches taller than her, which was surprising since even when it came to girls I was usually the shortest. Annie finally shrugged.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asked as she tossed her bag onto the floor by the couch.

“No,” I said.

“Mikasa’s going to make pancakes and her smoothies when she gets back. You won’t want one of those. They’re gross, but the pancakes are good.” She passed me and sat down on the couch.

“Mikasa?” I asked. I recognized that name, but I couldn’t quite remember where from. It was an unusual name and I couldn't imagine it was very common.

“My S. O.,” Annie said as she picked up an Xbox controller. She handed the other one to me. “Eren’s sister. Well, not technically his sister, but they call each other siblings.” She turned on the TV and set up a game of _Call of Duty_.

I had played the game a couple of times with Mike. Erwin wasn’t a big gamer, but his husband practically consisted on them. Annie started a multi-player game and I sat forward with my elbows on my knees. Annie was just as easy-going as Eren had described her. A comfortable ease blossomed between us as we played.

“I thought you were away this weekend,” Annie said as her thumbs flew across the controller.

“I came over last night. Eren was upset.”

“Did something happen?” Her eyes remained rooted on the screen as she spoke.

“Yes,” I said. I knew that Eren told Annie everything, so I wasn’t betraying his trust by saying this. I could also tell that Annie was rather certain that something had happened; that was the only explanation for why I would come over when I had been several states away.

“Was it like the other weekend?” Annie asked.

“Not quite, but something along those lines,” I said. I would let Eren explain the details.

“Hm,” Annie said. She sat back with an annoyed sigh as her character perished. “Thanks for being there for him. I don’t…I don’t know what I would have done if he had called me.” She frowned as she watched the screen, waiting for her character to respawn. “Mikasa was really upset because she lost the final round of her tournament.” Annie shook her head. It was clear how torn she would have been if Eren had turned to her for help.

“Tournament?” I asked.

“Yeah, she does boxing.”

“And you do krav maga?”

“Did,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t train anymore, but I hang out at Mikasa’s gym sometimes and spar a bit with her.”

I nodded slowly. A grumbled expletive turned our attention to the doorway. Eren padded into the room, rubbing the heel of his hand against his uninjured eye.

“My head,” he mumbled in a pained voice.

“Jesus Christ, Eren,” Annie exclaimed. “What the fuck happened to your face?” She looked at him with an expression of horror as she took in the sight of his injury.

His entire eye was swollen shut and a discordant shade of purple. I raised my eyebrows. 

“Fuck, is it that bad?” Eren moaned.

“You look like you have a fucking face tumor,” Annie said with a slow nod. “An eggplant-looking face tumor.”

“Ah-ha,” Eren whimpered as he turned on his heel and hurried into the bathroom. “Fuck! I look deformed! Levi, don’t look at me!”

I snorted quietly as I paused the game. I got up off the couch and fetched him a bag of ice. He’d left the box of ziplock bags out on the counter. I grabbed one and filled it with ice before wrapping it in paper towel.

Eren had emerged from the bathroom by the time I had finished. He was covering his eye with his hand. He stared down at me sheepishly as I brought him the ice bag. 

“It’s not that bad,” I said as I pulled his hand aside.

“Eggplant face tumor,” Annie muttered under her breath.

“Annie,” Eren moaned in a defeated voice as I lightly pressed the bag against his face.

“Just ice it for a bit and it’ll go down. I don’t suppose you have steak tip or something?” I asked Annie as I returned to the couch.

“Oh, we have an entire deer frozen in the basement,” she said with a sagely nod.

I stared at her for a long moment. I was fairly good a detecting social cues and the like, but I could honestly not tell if she was being serious or not.

“She’s being sarcastic,” Eren said as he sat down in the nest chair by the couch. “It’s impossible to tell most of the time.”

“I can text Mikasa to get you steak if it’ll help your eye,” Annie said.

“Fuck, Mikasa’s coming over,” Eren groaned. “Can I go hide in my room?”

“She’s going to see it eventually. It’s not going anywhere fast,” Annie pointed out.

“The ice should be fine,” I said as I unpaused the game. 

“Do I need to beat someone up?” Annie asked.

Eren cracked a smile. I was happy to see the expression. He had looked absolutely dejected when he’d first entered the room. 

“You can start with Bert and Reiner,” he said. “Half of this is their fault. They were fucking talking about my sugaring in the dinning hall and Wagner’s douche friend heard them, so when I went to the party last night they tried to make me have an orgy with them and when I said no, douche friend punched me.” Eren gave an annoyed sigh. 

“Wagner your Calc TA, right?” Annie said.

“Yup.”

“I’m going to fucking break their legs.”

It was a official; I liked Annie.

“Yeah, and then get your ass taken to court. This kid, Sam, was offering three hundred for me to sleep with him.”

“Fucking dick,” Annie muttered, “but, fine, I won’t break anyone’s legs. You know Reiner’s completely oblivious; he probably had no idea he’d be overheard. Bert probably wanted him to shut up about it too, so you can’t blame them that much.”

“Oh, but I do,” Eren said darkly. “What if everyone at school finds out I’m a fucking prostitute?”

My nose wrinkled slightly at the word. I hated when Eren called himself that. Sure, he was a sugar baby, but that was so much more involved than just sleeping with guys for money. Even if he was an actual prostitute, that wouldn’t have been a bad thing either, but the way he said the word made it sound filthy, and he wasn’t filthy. I would know what human filth looked like.

“We’ll deal with that if it happens,” Annie said. “I can go…talk to Wagner if you want.” 

“Thanks, but you don’t need to go bust knee caps for me. I’m not a damsel-in-distress.”

“Alright, but I’ll be giving him the stink eye from now on,” Annie said. 

“That should be scary enough,” Eren said with a laugh. 

The _Call of Duty_ game came to an end and put my controller down on the coffee table.

“I should get going,” I said. I didn’t want to impose too much on their hospitality, especially if Eren’s adopted sister was coming over. If she was still upset about losing yesterday, she probably wouldn’t want a stranger in the house.

“You don’t have to go,” Eren said with a small pout.

“Yeah, it’s fine if you stay,” Annie said, stretching her arms over her head. She dropped them behind the back of the couch. “Mikasa lost her round, so she’s pretty upset,” Annie told Eren. “We’ll probably hold up in my room while she eats her feelings.”

“Ew, is she going to binge on those gross protein drinks?”

“She may consume—“ Annie’s voice dropped low—“a carb.”

“A carb,” Eren gasped, “when she’s not doing a carb overload? Scandal!” Eren gave a small laugh and Annie smiled. “But seriously that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty bummed.”

“I have to work on my portrait project,” Eren said. He glanced over at me with the eye that wasn’t concealed by the ice pack. “Can you be my model again if you have time?”

“I have nothing else up today,” I said with a shrug.

“Cool,” Eren said as he hopped to his feet.

“Are you going to hide from Mikasa now?” Annie asked.

“Yes,” he said sheepishly. “If she’s upset about the tournament, she’ll totally freak out when she sees my eye.”

“True,” Annie said with a nod.

“Let’s go.” Eren crossed the room and waved for me to follow him with a small smile on his face.

“Duty calls,” I said as I rose from the couch. 

We ended up doing something similar to last time. Eren directed me to strip down to my briefs. He really was working up to the full nude portraits. He was also a blushing mess as I got undressed. It was incredibly endearing how easily he blushed. He sat down on his bed, placing the ice bag on the bedside table as he did so, and fished his drawing supplies out of his backpack. I folded his clothes neatly and placed them on the very-not-neat pile of clothes on the chair in the corner. 

“Where do you want me?” I asked as I swung my arms slowly at my sides. 

It was strange having air brush my bare left arm. Usually it was concealed from view unless I was changing or showering. I didn’t actually feel too uncomfortable with my scars being on display in front of Eren. He’d seen them enough already and I really just tried to hide them from people in case they elicited a judgmental response. I hadn’t received such a reaction from Eren, so I didn’t mind his continuing to see them.

“By the window,” Eren instructed. His blush had gone down a touch as he’d grown accustomed to me being nearly naked in front of him.

“Like this?” I asked as I sat back against the narrow window sill.

“Hm, can you face the window? Yeah, and put your hands on the sill.”

“You just want a view of my ass,” I said, but I did as I was told. I knew I had a great body and I didn’t have any qualms with showing it off to my boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. That was a weird thing to think. I’d half-expected to go my whole life without dating anyone, but now Eren and I were a couple. This didn't feel all that different from how Eren and I had been before, but at least now I wouldn't royally fuck up by calling him my friend.

“Yeah, sort of,” Eren said with a laugh, “but I also want to draw your tattoos. Is that cool?”

“Sure,” I said with a shrug. “Knock yourself out.”

We chatted idly as Eren sketched. Through the window I watched the hustle and bustle of the street below.My arms grew stiff after a while and I informed Eren before I shook them out. I resumed the position and Eren continued to draw. I could hear the scratch of his pencil on the paper as he worked. 

About forty-five minutes later, I heard Eren set his sketchbook aside and approach me. He slid his hands over my bare hips. I raised an eyebrow and glanced over my shoulder. 

“You’re suppose to draw me, not cop a feel,” I said.

“I’m just getting a feel for the canvas,” Eren said as he ran his fingers up my ribcage. 

“You do this with all your models?” I asked.

“Just the cute ones,” he said with a shrug. He caught my hips in his tanned hands and flipped me around.

“Oh, so I’m cute now,” I said with a small smirk.

Eren shrugged again. A grin played over his face. He dropped to his knees. I gasped quietly.

“Eren, what are you—?” My question broke off in a low moan as Eren dragged his tongue over my clothed bulge. “Is this part of getting a feel for your canvas too?” I asked in a tight voice as I gazed down at him. 

“Mm.” Eren slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of my briefs. “This is me just wanting you to fuck my face.” He slid my briefs down my ankles.

“Holy shit,” I whispered. 

My half-hard cock sprang free of the fabric and Eren gave a pleased smile as he eyed it with the one turquoise orb that wasn't swollen shut. I bit my lip as I watched him carefully tease the tip of my cock with his tongue. He wrapped the base in his hand and brought his lips to my dick. He sucked lightly on the crown. My hand darted out and caught a clump of his hair. Eren moaned loudly. He slipped his lips over my dick and swallowed me to his hand. 

“Fuck, Eren,” I hissed as I grabbed his head with my other hand.

Eren whined as he began to bob his hand up and down. He jerked me off in time with his mouth. His tongue played with the underside of my cock and rolled the piercing balls against my length. He dropped his hand from my cock and his hands gripped my thighs. His forehead scrunched up in concentration as he slowly swallowed me to the base. His throat spasmed around the head of my cock and he paused for a moment to adjust. His eyes were watering and his face was flushed. He blinked his one good eye open and gazed up at me.

“Can I move?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“Mm,” he consented.

I shifted my stance slightly and drew my hips back. I thrust forward into his wet mouth. My piercing caught on his tooth, eliciting a pleasant tug. Eren whimpered and tried to open his mouth further.

“It’s okay,” I said as I pulled out again. “It won’t tear.”

Eren breathed a sigh of relief. Tears trickled out of his eyes. I knew from ample experience that deep throating could be incredibly painful, and I found that seeing Eren’s tear-stained face was a huge turn on. Even with a black eye, he was incredibly hot. I set a steady pace fucking his mouth. He panted desperately through his nose and whined whenever the tip of my cock rammed the back of his throat.

“Fuck, Eren, your mouth is perfect.”

Eren whimpered loudly. He gazed up at me. His eyes were begging me for more. I picked up my pace and he moaned, sending vibrations down my length. 

“Good brat,” I said as my grip tightened in his hair.

Eren’s eyes rolled back in his skull and he whined loudly. His tongue toyed dexterously with my piercing. His wet heat pulsed around my dick. I grunted quietly as I felt that familiar pool of warmth forming in my stomach.

“Eren, I’m going to come,” I hissed as I pulled out so just the tip was in his mouth.

Eren nodded eagerly. He gazed up at me with a desperate, tear-filled eye. I moaned quietly and came hard in his mouth. He swallowed eagerly, but a thin strain of cum did slip over his lip and slide down his chin. As I rode out my orgasm, which was honestly incredible, Eren sucked his lips off my cock. He delicately cleaned the tip of my cock with his tongue. I released my hold on his head and slumped back against the window sill. He sat back on his heels with a pleased smile as he wiped his chin on the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Your payment for being my model,” he said with a cocky grin. Suddenly his eyes widened, and I had to admit mine did too a touch. “Wait, no. I didn’t mean…not like that. I—“

“It’s okay, Eren,” I said with a small smile as I stroked his cheeks with thumbs. “I know what you meant.” I bent and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

He released a short sigh of relief. I pulled my briefs back on before helping him to his feet.

“Levi, I didn’t, like, it doesn’t look ugly with the black eye, right?” he asked shyly as he stared down at the floor.

“No,” I said flatly. “You looked fucking perfect.”

Eren beamed at me. I smiled slightly and gave him another quick kiss.

“Do you want to see my drawing?” he asked excitedly as he hurried to his bed and hopped onto the mattress.

“Of course,” I said as I followed him over to the bed. “You made me stand in that ridiculous pose; I’d like to see what you came up with.”

“I actually like this one,” he said as he handed me the sketchbook.

I took it from him and sat on the bed beside him. I gazed down at the portrait. What Eren had created was honestly stunning. He had captured my head and shoulders on the page. My torso tapered into a bony ribcage and the tattoo of my vertebras transformed into actual bones as they descended into a pelvic bone. The wing tattoo on my right shoulder he had worked into an actual, feathered wing that trailed down by my side. 

“This is incredible, Eren,” I said with a nod. “It’s more your style than what you did last time.”

“Thanks,” Eren said. He was grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Will your professor be happy with it? It’s not a full body portrait.”

“Hannes is cool with us being a bit creative with our projects,” Eren explained. “I don’t like doing strict portrait. Sometimes I will for the day-to-day homework assignments, but I’ve handed in work like this before and he’s been impressed with it.”

“Good,” I said. “Do you want to go get something to eat?” I was fucking famished by now.

“Sure!” Eren said. 

“Let’s stop by my apartment first,” I said.

“Sounds good!”

We took a cab to my apartment so I could change into some clothes that actually fit me. We then spent the remainder of the day together. I took Eren out to lunch and then to a movie. He was a little embarrassed about having a black eye, but I assured him every once and while that he looked perfect despite it. After the movie, he admitted to needing to do more homework for Monday, so I drove him back to his apartment. He told me he'd text me later before giving me a quick kiss and clambering out of the car. I drove off when I saw him get into his apartment safely. I really enjoyed being official with Eren. It wasn't stressful like I had thought having a significant other would be. Then again, it was only the first day after we had gotten together. We still hadn't discussed whether he would keep sugaring. I really didn't want him to, and not just because a possessive feeling was growing in the pit of my stomach. It would be a dick move for me to dictate his life like that, regardless of the fact that I didn't want anyone touching him except me. I also didn't want him to sugar because it was honestly dangerous. He had gotten into two bad situations in as many weeks. I would need to bring this up with him the next time I saw him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *listens to breaking benjamin while writing smut* woohoo surprise sexy times! it's a surprise because i didn't expect to write smut in this chapter lmao.  
> it's feeling a lot like i'm writing a sugaring fic and a levi-is-a-nude-model-and-eren-is-the-artist fic like they're two separate fics and not integrated properly and that's annoying me  
> all the same i'm so glad everyone is enjoying this so far! it means so much to me that people like my work!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited July 11 :: i changed the ending so that eren stays. this way they can deal with everything tonight and at the art show i can introduce a new development for levi's life. also i know eren's being frustrating, but please cut him some slack he has good reasons to act this way and also he has some trouble being stubborn/defensive/angry and that's totally valid. he just gets worked up easily.

**Eren’s POV**

 

Annie had been correct when she had pointed out that Mikasa would eventually see my black eye. She had still been at the apartment when I had returned from my day out with Levi. Unless I had done some crazy ninja-roll into the hallway, there was no way she wouldn't see me since she had been in the kitchen when I got back.

As I had expected, she had freaked out. I had provided her the most minimal amount of information about what had caused the injury: I had gotten into a scuffle with a guy at school. She had, of course, wanted to hunt the guy out and put him in the hospital, but Annie and I had talked her down. She was feeling a bit better about her loss the day before, but since she had still been bummed out, Annie and I had watched a movie with her and we’d ordered take-out. I had worked on my Calc homework while we watched. We had invited Armin over as well, and he had actually emerged from the library, which surprised everyone. 

Since we had all gotten together Sunday night for a movie, I therefore didn’t feel bad about going over to Levi’s on Wednesday night, which was my usual dinner-and-movie night with Armin and Mikasa. 

The black eye had gone down quite a bit since I had spent just about every waking hour icing it. Calculus class on Tuesday had been a little awkward with Wagner in the room. Much to my surprise, however, he’d actually come up to me after class to apologize for what Sam had done. He didn’t apologize for setting me up to partake in an orgy with his friends, but he did say that neither he nor his friends would say anything about my sugaring. I had a feeling that this had something to do with Mikasa and Annie, since they had a class with Wagner on Monday. I hoped they hadn’t said anything to him. Their mere presence alone was probably enough to scare him into silence. 

Since no one else had found out about my sugaring at school, I felt about a hundred times better. I had been quietly agonizing over that in the back of the mind before Tuesday. I had confronted Reiner and Bert about talking about it in the cafeteria. Bert had apologized profusely and Reiner had been torn between sincere apologeticness and hellbent anger over what those guys had done to me. Since they both repented so sincerely, I didn’t feel quite so angry with them.

Wednesday finally rolled around and I had a new reason to be anxious, however. I had the sinking suspicion that Levi and I would be having a conversation about my sugaring. I had no real way of knowing whether or not he would bring it up, but since we were official, it felt like a logical next step.

Thankfully, the swelling around my eye had gone down and I was left with a mottled purple and fading green bruise so I didn’t feel completely ugly. While I had been blowing Levi—which I still can’t believe I had done. Shit, he had looked so hot!—I had completely forgotten about the black eye, but it had twinged slightly when I had stood up and had embarrassed the hell out of me. Levi, being the absolutely precious human he was, had assured me that I didn’t look ugly, but my self-esteem always fluctuated and having the swelling had made me feel completely deformed. 

I was correct in thinking that we would talk about the sugaring. 

Levi had invited me over for a night in. We ate dinner, which he prepared. It was a simple dish, but really good. I joked about how I had hit the jackpot with a guy who was hot, rich, and could cook. After eating, we went to the couch and turned on the TV. During a commercial break of the movie we'd decided to watch, Levi finally broached the topic of sugaring. I was incredibly antsy by now since I had been waiting with bated breath for this subject to roll around.

“Eren,” Levi said in his typically calm voice, though there was a tight edge to it, “there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” I said. I glanced over at him, but he was keeping his gaze fixed on the TV. “What’s up?”

“I don’t want you take this the wrong way, but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with you continuing sugaring while we're dating.” Levi bit his lip and glanced over at me.

“So, what, you just want me to stop?” I asked. An annoyed edge had entered my voice. I knew I was being defensive, and would continue to become more defensive as the conversation went on, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Ideally, yes,” Levi said, “but I know that’s a lot to ask for.”

“I thought you didn’t have a problem with me sugaring,” I said slowly.

“I don’t have a problem with the sugaring, and I don’t want you to think that I do. I just don’t like the idea of you,” Levi paused, “sleeping with other guys while we’re dating.”

“That’s basically what the sugaring is,” I pointed out. There was more to it, as I had argued to Sam and those other douche bags, but the most lucrative aspect of sugaring was the actual sex.

“I know, but I mean,” Levi said. He let out a small sigh and shifted on the couch to face me. “I don’t have a problem with you…doing sex work, but since we’re dating now, I don’t want you to sleep with other guys. I want to be exclusive. Does that make sense?” He chose his words slowly and carefully. He was clearly trying to be as diplomatic as possible, but I was too much of a stubborn and defensive ass to do the same.

“But sugaring is different,” I said adamantly. “It’s a job for me. It’s not like I’m finding other guys to sleep with at random.”

“I know that it’s a job for you, and by asking you to quit I’m asking you to give up the majority of your income,” Levi said. His gaze had been on his laced together fingers for the most part, but now he looked up at me. “I can help pay for your tuition.”

“We already agreed even before we started dating that if you gave me an allowance it would mess with the dynamic of our relationship,” I said. I knew Levi was trying to be helpful and as nice about this as possible, but I had honestly thought that he was cool with the sugaring. I had thought he'd just ask me to cut back on the sex or try to go for platonic relationships as much as possible, but he was actually asking me to quit entirely.

“I know we agreed on that," Levi said, “so I could loan you the money.”

“No!” I snapped loudly. “No, loans. I don’t do loans.” I knew I had an irrational dislike for loans since I had witnessed my father unable to pay them and all the damage that had caused our family, but I’d still sell myself on a street corner before I took out a loan.

“Eren, it’s not like you would be taking out a loan from a gang,” Levi said insistently. “It’s just me. You could pay me back whenever. Twenty years from now even and that would be fine. I wouldn’t ask for interest or something ridiculous like that.”

“No. No loans,” I snapped.

“Fine, if you won’t take money from me, what about Erwin?” Levi offered.

“Erwin? Fuck no. He doesn’t even know me.” I was slowly becoming angry, and if I became more than just irked, then this conversation would implode. I had to calm down, but I was already so defensive about my sugaring after so long having Armin and Mikasa trying to convince me to quit.

“He didn't know me when he picked me up off the street and paid my way through rehab and let me _live_ with him,” Levi pointed out. “Erwin genuinely likes helping people and I know he’d be more than happy to help you out with tuition. He’s paying for my classes.”

“Oh, but you still think you could afford to pay my tuition?” I shot at him.

“He pays for my classes because he wants to, not because I can’t afford them,” Levi said with an exasperated sigh. “Eren, I know I’m presenting a problem in asking you to quit sugaring since that will decimate your income, but I’m also trying to present solutions. Please, work with me here.” He stared at me with earnest grey eyes.

“What's even your problem with me sugaring?” I snapped. Uh-oh, this was it. I was spinning out into irrational annoyance, but there was nothing I could do to stop my mouth from moving. I hated it when I got like this. It happened with Mikasa a lot, and even Armin. I typically just had to ride out the anger and frustration, but I took no prisoners in the process. “I thought you were cool with it. So, what, you think I’ll become filthy by sleeping around with other guys for money and you’re clean-freak-ness can’t handle me being filthy?”

“Eren, that’s not what’s going on here and you know it,” Levi said. His eyes flashed with annoyance. “I do not have a problem with you sugaring. I just don’t want you to sleep with other people. I want us to be exclusive.” 

“But this is different because it’s a job for me.”

“I know it’s a job,” Levi said in a tight voice. His clenched-together hands were beginning to tremble slightly. “Which is why I’m trying to give you alternative sources of money. But I still don’t like the idea of my boyfriend having sex with other guys.” He let out a grating sigh.

“But it’s for work,” I insisted.

“But I don’t like it,” Levi shot back loudly. “I don't like the idea of my boyfriend getting fucked by some old guy while he’s wearing a priest outfit.”

“Oh, so you do think it’s filthy!” I yelled at him as I leapt to my feet.

“No, I don’t think it’s filthy or you’re filthy or anything like that.” Levi’s voice was edged with frustrated anger. “That’s not what I meant, Eren. I’m just, I’m trying to figure out what I want from a relationship since I’ve never done this before, and I think I’m pretty possessive. I just really don’t like the idea of you sleeping with other guys. I don’t understand why this is hard for you to grasp.”

“Oh, so you think I’m stupid now!” 

“Eren, stop twisting my words. I know I’m asking for a lot, but there are perfectly reasonable solutions to the money issue. You just have to work with me here.”

“I don’t have to do anything!” I yelled at him.

“Actually you do.” Levi surged to his feet and glared up at me. “You do have to work with me because we’re in a relationship and when there’s a problem, we have to figure it out together, but right now I’m the only one trying to fix the problem and you’re just shooting down my ideas for no good reason.”

“You’re the one making the problem,” I said angrily. “If you would just let it go, then we wouldn’t even need to have this conversation. I knew you were going to bring up the sugaring, but I thought you’d ask me to cut back or something, but you can’t honestly expect me to quit entirely.”

“Eren, the only reason you do it is because you need the money and I’m offering you the money. And if you don’t want to take it from me, then I know Erwin would give it to you. I really think you would be a lot happier if you quit sugaring. You were so incredibly upset when those guys found out that you’re a sex worker. If you just accept an alternative, then you don’t have to worry about people finding out you sugar. I think you’d be a lot happier then.”

“Shut up," I snapped. “You don’t know shit about what makes me happy.”

“Eren, please, this conversation is going in circles.” Levi rake his hands through his hair. “Let’s just press pause for now and you can think about this when you have a clearer head.”

“My head’s perfectly clear!”

“Eren—“

“Fine. Let’s press pause. I’m leaving.” I turned and marched toward the door.

“Eren, wait, I didn’t mean you should leave,” Levi said desperately as he chased after me. He grabbed my arm. 

“Let go. I’m leaving!”

“Eren, please, I’m sorry I got angry.”

“It's whatever. Just let me go." I punctuated each word by yanking against his arm, but he refused to release me. I didn't understand why he was so adamant. I just didn't understand this at all. I had just wanted someone to be okay with my sugaring. Why couldn't one person just get that I wanted to do this myself? I didn't want to be dependent on anyone and I didn't want to owe anyone anything.

"Eren, it's okay. Take a breath," Levi said.

I realized then that I had said those words out loud. 

"Let go!" I pulled hard against his grip and this time he let me go. I stumbled a few steps before dropping into a crouch. A sob bubbled up inside of me and burst from my lips. This was another thing I hated about my uncontrollable anger; sometimes I would get so angry that I would start crying.

"Eren, it's okay," Levi said again. "It's okay. Just breath." He rubbed my back slowly with one hand and stroked my hair with the other. 

He was being so kind, so wonderfully kind to me even though I had blown up at him.  A sudden wave of guilt washed over me. I had treated him so poorly throughout this conversation. I hadn't listened to him at all and had been a complete ass. This was typical for me when I got in angry. It wasn't something I could control and I always regretted it immediately after.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo angst! turmoil! we all knew this conversation was going to happen and here it is, but as glenda always points out i don't drag out angst, so this will be resolved shortly, never fear!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i edited chapter 18 today (july 11) so if you read it already just pop back and read the new ending.

**Levi’s POV**

 

“I’m sorry,” Eren whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said again. “Just breath. You’re okay.” I continued to stroke his head and back gently. I could feel the tension leaving him as I did this. I was honestly having a bit of whiplash from his whirlwind emotions. I had known from the start that this would be a difficult conversation for both of us, but I hadn’t known Eren would get so worked up. I was something of an expert at reading emotions—which was why I had been such an asset to the gang, and was one to Erwin now—so I had been able to discern the emotions that had flown over his face during the conversation. 

He’d been angry, defensive, stubborn, and now he was upset. All of these were valid reactions, but Eren really had a habit of putting his all into his emotions. Now, however, since he’d gushed out those last few words, seemingly not meaning to, I had a better understanding of where he was coming from. 

He was scared; that was what all the other emotions boiled down to. He was scared of being dependent on other people and of feeling like he owed them something.

“I’m sorry,” Eren mumbled again as he sat down out of his crouch. He drew his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them. “I’m sorry I got unreasonable and lashed out at you. I do that sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” I said. I tucked my foot under me and sat on it. I propped my other arm on my knee and continued to toy with his hair. “You weren’t being unreasonable.” He had been behaving a touch unreasonably at the beginning of the conversation, since he’d stubbornly refused to work through things with me, but now I had a better idea of why he’d been so adamant about sugaring.

“I don’t want you to think that I want to do it,” he said. His voice was muffled slightly by his knees. “I don’t really like sugaring all that much. Sometimes I meet interesting people. I met you.” He turned his head slightly and I saw a flash of his turquoise eyes. “So that’s great, but all in all it’s kind of a sucky job, but it’s the only one that makes me the money I need.”

“I understand that,” I said with a slow nod. “Why don’t you like the alternative of me or Erwin paying you?” Now that his emotions had run their course, I figured we’d be able to have a more coherent conversation. If we had to discuss difficult things like this going forward and Eren got angry again, we would just have to press pause sooner so that he’d be able to calm down a little. I wasn’t upset or angry at him for having an emotional response; that was perfectly normal and valid. I had gotten a touch frustrated, since he had been deflecting so forcefully in an attempt to put me in a bad light. I knew, however, that he’d just been projecting his fears of being seen as ‘filthy’ onto me. Deep down, that was probably how he saw himself, which was why he was so afraid and quick to assume that others felt that way too.

“Because if I take money from either of you without doing anything in return, then I’ll feel like I owe you guys something. I hate that feeling of being in someone’s debt. My dad put us through that when I was in high school. He was in so much debt that people would come to our house and take stuff, like…like what you did.”

I nodded slowly. He wasn’t making a jab at my former profession, if it could be called that. I understood where he was coming from, since I had been on the other side of that equation. I had been the collector, and remembered all too well the fear and confusion in the eyes of those I collected from. 

“Even when I go to the movies with Armin and Mikasa, I get stubborn and annoying when they try to pay for me. I just hate that feeling.” He looked up at me with pleading eyes, begging for me to understand. 

“I understand,” I said, and I truly did. It made sense now why he had been so determined not to give up the sugaring. He didn’t do it because he wanted to; he did it because it was the easiest way to make money, and he refused to take money from me or Erwin because that would make him feel beholden to us. “Do you understand where I was coming from about the exclusive thing?”

“I think so,” Eren said. “You don’t have a problem with the sugaring, just with the me sleeping with other guys.”

“Yes,” I said. 

“I think what’s hard for me is that I really wanted to find someone who would okay with the sugaring, and I thought I had, so it really confused me when you asked me to stop.”

“I’m okay with the sugaring in principle,” I said, “and I understand how it could have been confusing. Before we were official, I was fine with the idea of you sugaring, but now that we are official, what I don’t like is the idea of you sleeping with other guys. It’s two different things.”

“That makes sense,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I freaked out at you.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a small smile as I patted his head. “I was asking you to completely change your life.”

“Everyone in my life—Annie, Armin, Mikasa—they have all tried to get me to stop,” Eren said quietly. “I know they have good reasons to ask because it is dangerous, but I want to be able to get by on my own, and I guess part of me doesn’t want to admit that I might have made the wrong choice getting into it in the first place. What really upset me was that I thought I’d met someone who wouldn’t ask me to stop, but then it turns out you do want me to stop.”

“I get that,” I said. I knew all too well that feeling of not wanting to admit the choice you made was wrong. “I do think it’s dangerous and you’ve been in two precarious situations in as many weeks. I would be happy to see you stop to prevent such things from happening again. The reason I want you to stop is because—“ I shrugged—“I guess I’m just the possessive type of boyfriend.”

Eren giggled quietly. 

“That’s kinda hot,” he mumbled as a soft blush tinged his cheeks.

I laughed quietly. I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“Maybe I can seduce you out of sugaring then,” I said in a low voice.

He giggled again in an absolutely adorable fashion and buried his face in his arms. 

“In all seriousness, though, we do need to come to some sort of conclusion,” I said. My hand, which had been playing with his hair still, dropped to the back of his neck. I rubbed my knuckle into the cleft of his spine. This sort of touching had helped Eren calm down a lot. “There is the solution that you become exclusively my sugar baby and I pay for your tuition that way.”

“But then we wouldn’t be dating,” Eren said. He turned his head so that he could look at me as he spoke.

“Right,” I said with a nod. “That would cause issues because it would frame things such that you’d be sleeping with me for money essentially and I never liked that idea.”

“Yeah,” Eren said quietly.

“The other option is to have Erwin pay your tuition.”

“You want me to be your boss’s sugar baby?” Eren asked, cracking a small smile.

“Fuck no,” I said flatly and Eren laughed. “That would be too weird.” I shook my head. My boyfriend the sugar baby of my long-time benefactor? Hell no. “But you wouldn’t want to take his money unless you felt like you were doing something for him in return.”

“Exactly,” Eren said. “That’s the problem.” Eren frowned as he fell into thought. "What about platonic sugaring, like I was sort of doing with you before we got together?"

"Hm," I said as I rubbed my chin. "I wouldn't have as much of a problem with that. There are still dangers of course, and also it's possible to get intimate with a, uh, client without sex involved. Look at us."

"I wouldn't start dating someone else!" Eren said hurriedly.

"Don't worry," I said with a small smile. "I wasn't thinking you would. I just wouldn't want one of your clients to grow attached to you, even if there wasn't sex involved. For now, however, let's  put a pin in the issue,” I said as I got to my feet. “You look exhausted.” 

I held my hand out for him. He took it and I helped him to my feet.

“But what are we going to do?” he asked quietly.

“You weren’t going to go to any meets again until your eye healed, right?” I said. “We’ll figure something out by then. I might be okay with you doing it platonically, despite there still being dangers to it. I'll just have to think about that more, and in the meantime we might be able to work out a solution that takes sugaring out of the equation.”

“Okay,” Eren said. “I’m sorry again that I freaked out.”

“You’re entitled to your emotions,” I said with a smile as I laced our fingers together. “But, please, don’t ever think that I think sugaring makes you dirty. I could never think that.”

“Okay, cool,” Eren said with a relieved smile.

We went upstairs and Eren got ready for bed. I still had some work to do, so I planned to stay up a little later. I didn’t have to go into work tomorrow until about eleven, so Eren and I would be able to wake up together and I would drive him back his apartment. I bid Eren good night before he went into the bathroom to shower. I gave him a small kiss on the lips and he flushed red in that endearing way of his. 

I went to my office to finish up some paperwork. Now that I was alone, I had time to fully process the entirety of the conversation. It had been a bit of a rollercoaster, that much was for sure. All the same, I couldn’t blame Eren for his reaction. I had been asking him to completely rework his life, a life he was dependent on because of his financial situation. On top of that, he had felt secure in thinking that I would be fine with him sugaring. When I pulled the rug out from under him regarding that, he had spun out. We’d have to be careful the next times we argued and put things on hold before they went so far. Eren’s emotions were completely valid, but they were still destructive and made for an unproductive conversation. 

I still hadn’t worked out a solution that would make Eren feel like he was still independent from his monetary source. Since the art show was coming up and Eren’s art would be on sale, I was considering that could pose a financial solution.

It was clear that beyond the sugaring Eren had some issues that he had to work out. He was still upset and undone about the indebted situation that his father had put his family into. He probably hadn’t fully come to terms with everything that had happened with his mother, and on top of that, his father was a drunk disaster. I had experience with drunk father figures, so I’d be able to work through that with him. I could also see where Eren was coming from with the issue of being dependent on someone.

I had been hesitant at first when Erwin offered me money and a place to live, but I had eventually taken him up on the loans and was still working them off. He didn’t make me pay interest and hadn’t even posed them to me as loans; he’d been willing to give me the money regardless, but I, like Eren, didn’t like feeling indebted to people. However, I didn’t have a problem with loans, so that was how Erwin and I had worked around that issue. Eren’s complete valid fear of loans posed a bit of hurdle, but we’d be able to figure it out. Even if I didn’t have a concrete solution right now, I was willing to search for one. I wanted to make things work with Eren. There were very few people in my life who I counted as close friends and Eren was steadily becoming even more than just a close friend to me. We were boyfriends for starters, but beyond that he was someone I was completely and genuinely comfortable to be around. Even Erwin didn’t see me parade around without a shirt on, but for Eren I would do just that. I hadn’t known him for that long, but I had connected with him faster and more deeply than I had with anyone in my whole life, save for my two best friends from high school. He was someone I was willing to fight for. His volatile emotions could try to push me away and he could try to shoulder things on his on, but I would continue to be there for him no matter what because I

liked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not surprised by the swell of responses to the last chapter. i am surprised and a little annoyed by a few of the comments. even if eren liked sugaring and sleeping around with people there's nothing inherently wrong with that but a few people were hinting at that. also i felt like not a whole lot of people were sympathizing with eren. maybe i didn't make it too clear, but he has some anger management issues and he can lash out easily. he's done it with mikasa before as had been mentioned. he just got very worked up and his emotions had to run their course before he could sit down and have a coherent conversation with levi.  
> all the same i hope people liked this chapter and the edit to the last one!
> 
> edit: don't worry about me being annoyed! i'm mostly annoyed that i couldn't better show eren's side of things, but i hope this chapter clarifies where he's coming from


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for always having such great comments! all comments are appreciated! i just want to assure everyone that i love and appreciate all of you! i can be a pissbaby sometimes and get annoyed, but last chapter i was mostly annoyed that i couldn't better show eren's side of things in chapter 18, but i think i showed it well in chapter 19. 
> 
> here's the art show chapter!

**Eren’s POV**

 

I still couldn’t quite believe that Levi had put up with my antics the other night. I had been a stubborn ass and my defensiveness had run rampant. Despite this, Levi had been calm and mature throughout, save for one slip up, which he had then apologized for.It was fairly typical of me to lash out like that, but Levi had never experienced it before and he had handled it with a poise and grace I didn’t deserve.

It was Saturday now and the night of the art show. We still hadn’t come to a concrete conclusion about my sugaring. I had gone a week without having a meet or even looking at the website and, sure, my pocket money was stretching, but I felt liberated in a way I hadn’t in a long time. I had been functioning with a consistent level of anxiety because of the sugaring I realized now. Whenever I got a text or went to a meet, I had to put on a ridiculous act. I was both relieved and annoyed because of this liberating lack of anxiety. The reason for the relief was obvious, but I was annoyed because it meant that I was wrong about sugaring being a good thing. Levi had been right when he’d said it wasn’t healthy for me mentally, which meant I was wrong and I hated being wrong. 

All the same, I was slowly warming up to the idea of never having to sugar again. Levi and I hadn’t figured out an alternative that I liked, however. He’d offered to see if there was a job available at the company, but I didn’t want to take employment from someone who actually wanted to work there, and I was an English and Art major for Christ’s sake. I would have no idea what to do at marketing company. Levi had pointed out that I would just be a gopher for the other employees and copy shit or what-have-you, but under normal circumstances that wouldn’t pay a lot and I didn’t want Erwin to give me a bonus paycheck from company funds.

Levi had offered something that would help ease my financial burden. We had been texting Friday night when he had brought this up.

**Levi  
** _I had an idea about the financial issue if you’d like to hear it_

_Sure_ , I had replied. _Shoot_. We had been chatting aimlessly before then so it had been a bit out of the blue, but since I wasn’t in my hackles-up defense mode I had rolled with it.

**Levi  
** _You could come live with me_

**Me  
** _We started dating like less than a week ago??_

**Levi  
** _Not as a couple. I have a spare bedroom. You could just live here with me so you don’t have to pay rent anymore_

**Me  
** _But how would I pay you back?_

**Levi  
** _You could do some of the chores and run errands_

**Me  
** _You’d just redo all the chores I did cause you’re anal_

**Levi  
** _True, but even a messy pig like you can turn on the washing machine_

He had, of course, said that in an endearing tone. At least, that was how I had read it. It had made me smile, and I wasn’t wholly opposed to the idea of living with Levi. I had replied to him that I would think about it. It would be a huge relief not to have to pay seven-fifty a month, but I would miss living with Annie. He had agreed that it would be good for me to take some time to think about it. It could mess with our relationship if we started living together too quickly, but it could also be incredibly fun. I didn’t get to see Levi much during the week and I honestly wanted to spend every waking hour with him.

Since it was the night of the art show, I was going to see him. We hadn’t talked in person since Thursday morning when he had taken me to school. We hadn’t recapped the night before, but we were both in a good place about it. Sure, the start of it had been a cluster fuck, but once my emotions had fizzled out, I had been able to contribute to the conversation in a productive manner.

Levi was running late to the show, so I got to spend the first hour showing Mikasa, Armin, and Annie around. I saved my piece for last. They had seen pictures of it, but had never seen it in person and I was super excited to show it off. When we finally wended our way to the room where my piece was displayed, my friends gasped in awe upon seeing my art. Even I was stunned by how good it looked; I hadn’t seen it on display until then.

Rose Gallery had a minimalist design setting to it, reminiscent of Levi’s apartment and the Survey Corps’ office building. The walls were white and the exposed ceiling displayed black, metal beams. My work fit in perfectly with the overall aesthetic of the gallery. It was displayed on a pedestal in the middle of the room, illuminated by the white light that spilled from the ceiling.

“Eren, it’s incredible,” Armin said as he crossed the room for a closer room.

“It looks great,” Annie agreed. She and Mikasa, who was nodding in agreement with her girlfriend’s comment, walked hand-in-hand over to my piece and gazed down at it.

“Thanks,” I said excitedly as I walked after them. I noted the plaque on the pedestal. There was a bold number eighteen next to my name. This was the piece's number for if anyone wanted to put a bid in on it. My heart thrummed with excitement at the thought that someone might purchase my work. 

“All the art's good, but yours is my favorite,” Annie said. “That’s not me being bias. This is really amazing, Eren.”

“Thanks,” I said again as a pleased blush warmed my cheeks. 

“You worked really hard on it,” Mikasa said as she patted my elbow. “I’m sorry you didn’t win the contest, but I bet someone will buy it.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” I said. I held her gaze for a moment. We had both had our share of disappointment recently. 

“Eren.”

I looked around at the sound of Professor Hannes’s voice.

“Hannes, hi,” I said. 

“It looks incredible,” Hannes said, nodding to work.

“Thanks!”

“Are these your friends?” Hannes asked, looking at Armin, Annie, and Mikasa.

“Yeah, this is Annie, my roommate, and Armin and Mikasa, my best friends,” I said by way of introduction.

“I’m Eren’s major advisor, Hannes,” Hannes said as he shook each of my friends’ hands. “You must be really proud of Eren’s work.”

“We are,” Armin agreed. 

“Eren, can I borrow you for a second to go over some paperwork in case your work gets sold?” Hannes asked.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”

“We actually are going to head out,” Annie explained. “Jean is throwing a party in the room and Mikasa and Armin want to make sure he doesn’t destroy anything.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

“You can come by if you promise not to get in a fist fight with Jean again,” Mikasa offered.

“That’s not a promise I’m prepared to make,” I said sagely.

My friends laughed and headed out.

“Speaking of fights,” Hannes said, “what happened to your eye?” 

“Oh,” I said sheepishly as walked with Hannes to the gallery’s office. “I had a bit of an altercation with a friend’s friend. Nothing major.” 

“It’s faded nicely,” Hannes said. He had seen the bruise at the very beginning of the week, so he had witnessed the healing process.

“Yeah, and it doesn’t hurt anymore,” I said.

While we were going over the paperwork, I received a text from Levi saying he was here. I told him I would be out quickly, explaining that I was doing paperwork. He told me to take me time; he would just be wandering around the exhibit.

“We’re all set here,” Hannes said about ten minutes later.

“Great! I’m going to go meet my friend.”

“Sounds good. Fingers-crossed your work gets sold.”

“Thanks, Hannes.”

I left the office and searched the gallery for Levi. I found Erwin first. He was a tree of a man and easy to spot from across the gallery. An equally tall man with sandy blond hair stood beside him. They were both dressed in expensive suits. I wore the dress pants Levi had gotten me as part of the suit, but I just had on a white button-up. I hadn’t been kicked out though, so I clearly I was dressy enough for the gallery’s standards. 

Erwin and the tall man turned away from the art they had been admiring and I spotted Levi past them. He had been blocked from my view at first because of how large his companions were compared to him.

“Levi!” I called excitedly as I hurried across the room. 

Levi looked around and a small smile moved his lips. He was dressed in a suit, like Erwin and the other man, though his tie was undone and he had his jacket slung over his arm. Erwin and his friend looked around at the sound of my voice as well.

“You made it,” I said as I reached him.

“Sorry we’re late,” Levi said. 

“Hi, Eren,” Erwin said cordially as he held out his hand.

“Hi, thanks for coming,” I said as I took his hand.

“This is my husband, Mike,” Erwin said as he gestured to the man beside him.

“Nice to meet you,” Mike said smoothly as he stepped toward me and shook my hand. Side swept bangs flanked a handsome face. He had a bit of scruff and was on-par with Erwin’s attraction. Tens go for tens after all. He bent forward slightly and I heard a soft sniff above me. Did he just _sniff_  me? 

“Uh, yeah, you too,” I said. “Can I show you my piece?” I looked down at Levi and grinned eagerly.

“Yes,” Levi said. His eyes glinted warmly. “We’ll see you later,” he said by way of excusing us from Erwin and Mike.

They nodded and I took Levi to the room where my work was.

"Um, did Mike smell me or was I imagining things?"

"Yeah, he does that," Levi said with a shrug.

That was a bit strange, but I shrugged it off. We reached the room where my sculpture was displayed.

“Can you guess which one is mine?” I asked as I gestured around the room, which was filled with paintings and sculptures and other artwork.

“That one,” Levi said instantly as he pointed to my work.

“Yes! How’d you know?”

“Because it’s amazing,” Levi said with a shrug as he walked over to my sculpture.

“Thanks,” I said with a blush. My heart felt like it was going to implode. It had been great hearing from my friends how much they liked my work, but hearing from Levi was about a hundred times better.

“Look, someone bid on it,” Levi said, gesturing to the plaque. “Oh, wow. Erwin would.”

“What? Erwin bid on it.” I raced to the plaque and peered down at it. “Holy shit.”

“He and Mike got here before me,” Levi explained. “He must have put his bid in then.”

“He wants to pay that much for my work,” I whispered quietly. My mind hadn’t quite grasped what I was seeing, but there were three zeros and that was enough to make me want to faint.

“I don’t blame him. It’s amazing,” Levi said. “He has a habit of aggressively going for what he wants. I probably wouldn’t be able to out bid him.” 

“You want to buy it too?” I whispered. I was so happy I didn’t feel like I could stand up straight.

“Yes,” Levi said, “but I wouldn’t be able to outbid Erwin.”

I was beaming from ear to ear at the thought that both Levi and Erwin wanted my art, and Erwin had put down eight thousand dollars for it! Levi wasn’t kidding when he said Erwin went big when he wanted something. A sudden, sinking thought struck me. Did Erwin know the piece was mine? Did he know about my financial trouble? Maybe he was buying the piece for that much because Levi had told him I was broke. Maybe Levi only wanted to buy the piece for that reason too.

“Levi?” The surprised voice that spoke Levi’s name drew my attention.

“Mr. and Mrs. Sanchez,” Levi said in his typically bland voice, though his eyes had widened in almost imperceptible shock. He had stiffened as well as he gazed at the couple before him. 

The man and woman were equally attractive people in their late forties from what I could tell. They shared the same, light-olive skin tone and had silky black hair. Mrs. Sanchez’s hair trailed to her hips, while Mr. Sanchez’s was clipped short to frame his handsome face. They were dressed in expensive formal wear. As my eyes trailed over them, I spotted the child that held Mrs. Sanchez’s hand. Levi noticed her at the same moment. He crouched down before her.

“Hi, Julianna, do you remember me?” he asked. There was a tight edge to his voice that I doubted the Sanchezs picked up, but it had me frowning in concern.

Julianna hid quickly behind her mother’s leg. She had shocking red hair and pale skin. She didn’t look a thing like the Sanchezs, but unless they were child thieves, I hazarded that Julianna was their child.

“She’s going through a shy phase,” Mrs. Sanchez explained.

“Mm.” Levi nodded slowly. “She’s gotten big.”

“She looks just like her mother,” Mr. Sanchez said, and he wasn’t referring to his wife.

“And has her father’s eyes,” Levi said quietly. He stood up. He tucked his arms behind his back. His hands were trembling noticeably. 

I reached out on instinct and laced my hand with his, giving it a small squeeze. Some of the tension released from Levi’s shoulders and he clung to my hand in iron-like grip.

“This is my boyfriend, Eren,” Levi said as he gestured to me. His words caused me to blush deeply. “He’s one of the student artists.”

“Nice to meet you, Eren,” Mrs. Sanchez said as she shook my hand. “I’m Elena and this is my husband, Louise.”

“Hi,” I said as I shook her husband’s hand as well.

“You’re one of the artists? That’s quite incredible,” Mr. Sanchez said.

“Thank you. This is my piece actually,” I said, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at my sculpture.

“Oh, that’s amazing,” Mrs. Sanchez said. “Julianna, do you like the flowers?” She knelt down beside Julianna and pointed up at my work. “Eren made that himself. Do you like it?”

Julianna nodded slowly and leaned in to whisper something in her mother’s ear. Mrs. Sanchez laughed as she stood up.

“She likes it, but says it’s a little scary,” Mrs. Sanchez told me.

“Ha,” I said. “I can see that. Thanks, Julianna.” I smiled down at the girl. Though I was trying to maintain a cordial conversation, all of my focus was tuned to Levi. 

He was trembling beside me, though I doubted anyone else save for me could tell. I could feel the vibrations rolling off him through our clasped hands.

“Well, it was good to see you, Levi,” Mr. Sanchez said. “It’s close to Julianna’s bedtime, so we’ll be heading out. Congrats on the exhibit, Eren.”

“Thanks,” I said. I waved to them as they left the room.

“Levi?” I said cautiously as I turned toward Levi.

“Levi.” Erwin’s voice made me look around. He was quickly crossing the room toward us. He reached Levi’s side. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Fine,” Levi said. “Can I have smoke?”

“Sure,” Erwin said with a nod. He fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He handed Levi a stick as well as a lighter. 

“I’ll be right back,” Levi told me as he gave my hand a squeeze. He released my hand and left the room quickly.

“Oh, okay,” I said as I gazed after him. I had no idea what had just happened. I looked up at Erwin for some sort of explanation. I didn’t get one.

“Erwin, this piece you bid on is Eren’s,” Mike observed. He had joined us and was standing by my sculpture.

“It is?” Erwin said, surprised. He checked the plaque and saw my name. “What a pleasant surprise.” He smiled down at me. “I asked Mike for the number so I could bid, but didn’t know it was yours.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” I said. “Um, that bid is…” I nodded slowly. I wasn’t sure if it counted as a compliment to say the bid was massive.

“I didn’t want anyone else to get it,” Erwin said with a light chuckle. “It’s quite incredible and I would love to have it.”

“Thanks,” I said. My worry that Erwin was buying it out of my pity had vanished completely and I beamed up at him. “Levi said he wanted it too, but can’t outbid you."

“If he wants it, I’ll buy it for him,” Erwin said. He glanced down at his watch. “The bidding closes in five minutes. I’ll go seal the deal with Nile.” Erwin named the man who owned and operated Rose Gallery, whom I had been introduced to briefly at the beginning of the night along with the other artists.

“Um, is Levi okay?” I asked.

“He’ll be okay,” Erwin assured me as he patted my shoulder. “I’m going to find Nile.” He and Mike walked off to the find the other man. 

Though I took Erwin at his word, I still left the gallery in search of Levi. I found him in the alley that ran along beside the gallery. He was leaning back against the gallery wall. His head rested against the brick. The cigarette pinched between his fingers smoked lightly. He brought the stick to his lips and drew in a long drag.

“Levi?” I asked as I walked slowly to his side. 

“Hey,” Levi said in a low voice. He tossed the cigarette onto the ground, even though it was only halfway done. He ground it out with his heel.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I slid my fingers into his hand.

“Mm, fine.” He laced our fingers together and released a heavy sigh.

“So, how do you know that family?” I asked slowly.

“I know them because they adopted Julianna, my best friends’ daughter.”

“Your best friends?” I asked.

“Isabel and Farlan,” Levi said. He bit his lip as he gazed down at the concrete beneath his feet. 

“Why did they put Julianna up for adoption?”

“They didn’t. The state did,” Levi explained. “Isabel and Farlan are both dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy oh boy next chapter is going to be from levi's perspective and a whole flashback of his life. that's going to be a fucking mess have a box of tissues ready for that chapter lmao
> 
> i hope people liked this chapter!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: abortion mention, sexual assault, drug use, self-harm mention, abuse, alcoholism, suicide

**Levi’s POV**

 

My mother was a prostitute, which made it fairly obvious how I came into the picture. For the first four years of my life what she did could hardly be called raising me. She kept me alive, but that was the extent of it. I didn’t speak to anyone other than her. Occasionally she would have clients over to the apartment and she would lock me in the closet when this happened. In the cramped darkness I would listen to the men take her, sometimes brutally. Several hours later after she had recovered enough or remembered that I was even there, she would unlock the closet and let me out.

When she became pregnant for the second time, she decided to get rid of the child before she got more dead weight on her hands. She had a ‘clinician’ perform a back-alley abortion on her. She bled out in the lone bed in our apartment as I looked on without understanding what was going on. 

I had no idea what death was so I didn’t understand why eventually she wouldn’t respond to me shaking her shoulder. I called out to her quietly in my little-used voice, but after the third day of painfully tossing in bed and bleeding out, she finally stopped moving. 

For eleven days I remained in the apartment beside my mother’s corpse. The scent of rot and defecation hung heavily in the room. Since I was a mere child, I didn’t know the necessity of eating—not there had been any food in the apartment for me to consume—and spent that time with excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I huddled on the floor by the bed in the sweltering heat of the apartment. Her festering corpse turned the air pungent and I would sometimes wretch up putrid stomach bile in response.

On the twelfth day, my mother’s brother appeared in the apartment. He found me beside the bed, where I had sat for almost that entire time. I was curled in on myself, shrunken and covered in my own excrements. Kenny knelt in front of me and asked me who I was. My mother had only left me with a name and I gave it to him.

He took me in and raised me, but not as a son. All the same, I thought of him as my father. All the men who were close to kids my age were ‘fathers’, so that’s who I assumed he was. I didn’t understand there was more to it than that. I called him ‘dad’ once and he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and slammed my face into a table. He’d yelled down at me for a solid minute about how my father was some low-life scum that had bought my mother for a night and I was the disgusting byproduct of that.

It soon became clear that, while disgusting, I still held some merit. I wasn’t as stupid as I had first seemed. Once I developed common sense, Kenny discovered that I had a good head on my shoulders. He was a pretty big deal hitman in a local gang called the Triad, and seemed intent on seeing me become a useful asset to the gang as well.

He enrolled me in a private school starting in the first grade. There I met Farlan. It turned out the pair of us lived in the same apartment complex, but since I hadn’t gotten out much before starting school, we didn’t know that until we met at in our homeroom.

We became close friends and Kenny, who seemed rather adamant about not taking on a parent’s role where I was concerned, let me spend most of my time with Farlan. As long as I didn’t do anything to get kicked out of a school he didn’t care. He was grooming me from afar to become a gang member. Gang members didn’t need much more than a high school education to be successful, so he didn’t push me to do well in school for the sake of college.

I started running drugs when I was ten. I had no idea that what I was doing was illegal. I just brought people who lived in the neighborhood little bags and they gave me money. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable transaction in my eyes. Clearly I still hadn’t acquired all the necessary common sense.

Drugs became a rampant past time in our neighborhood and the teachers told us about how dangerous they were. They showed us pictures of the drugs that I had been selling to people and it clicked that what I was doing was ‘bad’. This by no means dissuaded me from doing it and in fact added an extra level of thrill to it. Farlan soon got involved as well since he was my best friend and we spent pretty much every waking hour together. 

I hadn’t been raised on human kindness and my instincts told me to distrust people on sight. When someone touched me, I expected pain to result from this, so if Farlan ever clapped me on the back, I would instantly shrink in on myself. He picked up on this and tried to keep me as comfortable as possible by limiting how much we touched. He put up with my quirks and he was the first person I warmed up to enough to exchange high-fives with and the like. 

We were rambunctious kids and got into plenty of fights with some of the other neighborhood kids. For me, caring about another person manifested in protecting that person. If some kids were picking on Farlan, I would immediately jump in with fists flying. I was far from a force to be reckoned with. After years of malnourishment, I was small and frail for my age. I was still a scrappy fighter and would manage to get in a black eye or a broken nose here and there. I would come away from the fights a lot worse off. Kenny would laugh at me every time he saw me beaten up. He’d shake his head and call me useless, weak, pathetic.

When I was twelve, I got my first taste of drugs. I had delivered a pack of oxy to some high schoolers, who then offered me some. The high was nothing like I’d experience before. A happy, warm feeling blossomed inside of me. I’d never felt so good before. Because of this, I’d been fine with hooking up with one of the high schoolers. Afterward, however, as the high wore off and I was left with a sticky face and a sore throat, a disgusted feeling grew inside of me.

I started using daily after that. Kenny gave me a small fee for running the drugs and I used it to buy some of my own. I would stick around at the parties where I’d delivered the drugs and use with the people I’d sold to. This got me into many situations like my first hook up. All of them were far from consensual even if the high was telling me it was wonderful and I wanted it. I hated when people touched me and always felt disgusting afterward. It was evident, however, that I couldn’t get away from the guys who forced me. They were all bigger and stronger than me. I was all lanky limbs and jutting bones. 

Eventually, I asked Kenny to teach me to fight. It was first time I had ever seen him happy with me. ‘Finally’ his face seemed to say. I didn’t go to any parties for several months until I was confident I could get high in peace without the fear of being molested coming in tandem with that.

Farlan used just as much as I did. He also became a runner for the gang as well. Eventually we began to sell the drugs, not just deliver. We were in high school by then and well known among the students as being drug peddlers. Gang activity was rather prominent where we grew up and the teachers had suspicions that we were involved in at least one way or another. However, as long as we showed up to class and did our work, they didn’t care how many bruises we carried with us. 

Even though we were both rather proficient in fighting at this point, we still got into enough scraps that we were injured every once and well. The wounds were never that serious. Farlan broke his wrist at one point. We couldn’t afford to take him to a hospital, so I’d splinted his arm as best I could and given him my rationed oxy to kill the pain.

It was during our sophomore year of high school when we met Isabel. We’d been wandering around the back alleys in our neighborhood with no real aim or purpose. The cops were cracking down on the drug use in the area, so our clients had gone to ground for a bit. 

Isabel had come plowing around the corner and had stumbled into us. Farlan, ever the gentleman, had helped her to her feet. Close behind came a couple of the low-ranking kids in our gang. Farlan and I had risen through the ranks rather quickly since we had a knack for selling and earned quite a profit for the gang.

The kids made a big fuss, claiming Isabel had stolen from them, which turned out to be the case, but Farlan had stuck up for her and gotten them to leave her alone. Isabel was grateful for our help, not that I had given much. I had scowled sullenly at the other gang members in a way that had probably made them nervous enough to be cowed by Farlan.

It turned out Isabel was a freshman at our high school and she and Farlan soon became inseparable. I continued to hang out with Farlan almost exclusively, though often times it felt like I was a third wheel. 

They started dating my junior. At this time, a transfer student named Hange joined our class. They had a tendency to go out of their way to be friends with everyone. They were in my homeroom, while Farlan was in a different homeroom. They stuck around me quite a bit even though I did little by way of reciprocating their friendliness.

I was pretty far down the rabbit hole at this point where drugs were concerned. I’d turned to some harder stuff like coke and heroin. I cut classes more often than I went to them. Farlan on the other hand was pulling out of the gang world and spending most of his time with Isabel. I didn’t mind that I was losing my partner-in-crime. I was jealous of him because he had someonewho cared enough about him to try to get him to quit drugs. Even if I did have someone who cared that much for me, I didn’t care about myself to do anything to save myself. 

Kenny did an admirable job of reinforcing self-loathing in me. He became abusively alcoholic while I was in high school and soon it became clear that he blamed me for his sister’s death. He’d beat me quite often and verbally assault me. My teachers saw the bruises he left on me, but they just assumed I was getting into more fights than usual.

All of the hatred and blame Kenny forced on me ate away at me and I started cutting because of it. The first time had been an accident while I was preparing dinner, but the sense of relief the pain had caused had me hooked. I had an addictive personality and soon I couldn’t go more than a few hours without opening up more wounds on my arm.

During this time, I’d become something of a mistress for one of the older gang members. This was by no means something I was particularly interested in doing, but Turret was aggressive and unwavering when it came to getting what he wanted. The first few times we did it, he forced me. He gave me drugs for free though, so I would shrug off his unwanted advances and shoot up when we were done. I became so enthralled with the heroin and the painful and deprecating way he fucked me that I soon stopped going to school and pretty much just lived in his apartment. He was one of the loan sharks for the Triad, and would sometimes take me along with him when he coerced money out of people.

Farlan and I didn’t see each other for a whole month during this time, though he tried to get in touch with me. His worry about my safety annoyed me to no end and I took to ignoring him. One day he called me in a blind panic, going on about how some older guys in the gang were coming on to Isabel too strong. They had tried to force her at a party the night before apparently, but she’d run away. Since the guys were higher-rank than Farlan, who at this point was barely on the peripherals of the gang status wise, Farlan had no way of getting them to back off. 

It had gotten around the gang at some point that I was shacked up with Turret, apparently much to the disappointment of many of the other members, so Farlan knew I was close to him. Turret’s friends were the ones harassing Isabel, so Farlan had hoped I could do something about it.

I’d approached Turret on the subject one night when the perpetrators in question were over at his apartment. I had very little tact and even less self-preservation, so I’d pretty much demanded they leave Isabel alone. 

Turret had laughed in my face. One of his friends had told me they weren’t getting any from her because she was “being a prude”, so unless I put out for them they wouldn’t back off. When Turret, who was usually aggressively possessive, didn’t object, I agreed, but not before making them promise they’d leave Isabel alone.

They took it a step, or rather twenty, farther than I thought they would. It turned into a gang bang and one that was filmed. They promised not to get my face in the footage, so I didn’t clock the guy who took out his phone. I also didn’t have my tattoos yet, so I wouldn’t be readily identified. 

The things they forced me to do were downright disgusting, much worse than anything Turret had made me do before then. The whole thing lasted several hours, but by the end of it they were sated to the point that they said they’d leave Isabel alone. 

Turret had actually helped clean me up after they were gone. I was covered in cum and other bodily fluids and had honestly expected him to leave me to clean myself up. Instead, he’d helped me to the bathroom and gotten me into the tub. This act of kindness was more than I’d ever expected from him, and was the reason I stayed with him despite the horrible things he had done to me and let his friends do to me.

All the same, I’d grown weary of being used like a toy by Turret, so I stopped staying over at his place and went back to school. Farlan was so desperately happy to have me back and incredibly grateful for “whatever I’d done” that had gotten the men to leave Isabel alone. He’d tried to pry for the details, but I’d only shrugged him off. 

Kenny was out of the picture by now since he’d been picked up by the police for a hit he’d done. I wasn’t sorry to see him arrested since he’d made my life miserable. Since I wasn’t living with Turret anymore I didn’t have ready access to drugs. I went into a pretty bad withdraw and was out of school for a week. Farlan and Isabel took care of me during this time. Once I got back on my feet, I got into the loan sharking business that Turret was a part of. I liked it better than selling drugs. There was something sickeningly delightful in destroying the lives of these well-put-together families. I didn’t remember much of those days because my withdraw had left me with a keen craving for drugs and I’d taken to shooting up with heroin almost daily. Farlan and Isabel were incredibly worried about me at this point.

We’d all graduated high school by now, even me. They went to Trost University. Hange, who had become something of a friend and someone I had discussed stories ideas with when I was in school and sober, went to the college in the next city over since it had a better bio-chem program. I took to working full-time for the gang. Despite their concerns, Isabel and Farlan couldn’t do anything to drag me out of the gang life. I became more and more entrenched in it. I was a valued asset to the gang and raked in quite a bit of cash through the debt collecting. Turret and I were still somewhat seeing each other, but I slept around quite a bit, sometimes willingly, sometimes not. This pissed him off to no end, but he didn’t try to lock me down. Instead, he’d just take his anger and frustration out on my body when he finally got his hands on me. I didn’t mind. I’d never much cared for my body, so he and everyone else for that matter could do whatever they wanted with it.

Turret went completely off the rails because of the heroin. He called me over to his place the night of my twenty second birthday. He screamed about me being a disgusting whore. The drugs in his system made him batshit crazy and also incredibly strong, so I couldn’t get away from him when he started beating me up. He ended up fucking me over the kitchen sink. The water had somehow ended up getting turned on during our tussle and it poured over my head. I choked and coughed around it and the blood that was filling my mouth.

When he’d finished, he dragged me into the bedroom and thrown me onto the floor. I tried to get up, but my entire body ached and there was blood dripping out of my ever orifice at this point. He grabbed a syringe and pumped me full of heroin. I whimpered weakly for him to stop, but soon I was engulfed in an excruciating high. I couldn’t breath and kept convulsing. It felt like broken razor blades were being dragged over every inch of my skin. Turret panicked and fled the apartment. 

I rode out the worse of the high and managed to drag myself out of the apartment. I stumbled out into the street and wandered off down it. I was barefoot in only a torn up t-shirt and pants. I wasn’t an uncommon sight in that part of town, however, so no one even spared me a glance.

I collided listlessly with someone several blocks away from Turret’s apartment. He’d caught me in his arms and asked me if I was okay. I had blinked up at him blearily. He was a ridiculously handsome man with blond hair that looked like a halo in the light of the street lamp. He continued to ask me if I was okay, but I fell unconscious in his arms.

I woke up six days later in a hospital. Erwin was still there. I was discharged and he took me to his home. I didn’t much care what happened to me, so I went along with him. I soon became mad with withdraw. I hallucinated like crazy for a couple days and Erwin couldn’t leave me alone in his house because I kept trying to off myself. His husband spent those days trying to convince him to get me to rehab. He insisted that Erwin couldn’t help me on his own.

Erwin finally agreed and got me admitted. Since I was a danger to myself and had tried to choke Erwin out when I’d found out he’d taken me to a rehab facility, I was admitted without my permission.

I spent three months in rehab. Erwin visited me every day. I grew rather tired of seeing him, but eventually I gave up on trying to get him to leave me alone. When I was finally allowed to leave, he took me to his house again. I was completely clean for the first time in a decade and my head felt painfully clear. Memories of all the disgusting shit I had done welled up inside of me. I was watching TV with Erwin and Mike when I had broken down in a sobbing mess. I flung myself in Erwin’s arms and wailed like a child. He’d comforted me in that gentle, quiet way of his. Mike had made me some hot tea and eventually I fell asleep between them on the couch.

I reached out to Farlan and Isabel the next day. They were out of college by now. Isabel was working at a pet shop as she saved up to go back to school in order to become a vet. Farlan was a florist. They were delighted to see me and even more thrilled to learn that I was sober. I didn’t tell them about what Turret had done, only that some business man with a savior complex had helped me out. 

My days were quiet and carefree for about a month. Turret was convinced that he had killed me and had told the gang I had overdosed, though not by his hand. Because of this, when I crossed paths with some old gang members, they freaked out, thinking they’d seen a ghost. I avoided them as much as possible and spent most of my time hold up in Erwin’s house or helping Farlan out at the flower shop. Those were the best days of my life. Erwin gave me anything I wanted. He even fronted me cash for a new tattoo. I already had the snake one and the gang symbol on my chest. I got the wing tattoo on my right shoulder during these peaceful days. It was a symbol of feeling liberated from the gang. I was a fucking idiot to think everything was all well and good. 

I told Eren this in short bullet points. I left out most of the assaults; I wasn’t looking for a pity party, just to give him an idea of my past with Farlan and Isabel. I also didn’t tell him the perverse sense of joy loan sharking had elicited in me considering I had collected from his family. We sat together on the couch in my apartment as I explained all of this. He listened with wide eyes as I retold the absolute shit show that had been my life before Erwin had saved me.

This coming latter half of the story was the hardest to tell. I bit my lip and twisted my hands together. Eren reached out and slipped his hand over my wrist. He waited patiently for me to continue. 

“We found out Isabel was pregnant about a month later,” I explained. “Farlan was over the moon with excitement and asked her to marry him the second he found out. We’d all been over at his apartment watching TV. He got down on his knee right there in front of both of us. It was the cutest fucking shit I’d ever seen.” I shook my head at the memory. “They planned to get married after the baby was born because Isabel didn’t want to be pregnant in her wedding photos. Several more months passed in blissful happiness. I was still living with Erwin. He hadn’t offered me a job at Survey Corps. yet. I spent most of my time helping Farlan. I also become something of Erwin and Mike’s personal housekeeper. I did the chores and errands by way of paying Erwin back, and also because neither of them were particularly good at chores. 

“I still don’t know why they did it, but one night, when Isabel was walking home, she got jumped by some of the guys in the Triad. They beat her within an inch of her life. I don’t know if they knew she was pregnant, though I doubt that would have deterred them. A passerby found her in the alley. Apparently she kept mumbling about her baby and clutching her stomach. The passerby called an ambulance. She was taken to the hospital and Farlan was called. The stress of the attack triggered her to go into labor. She died giving birth. I found this out later from Farlan. We had had plans to watch a movie together over the weekend. I came by his place, not knowing anything that had happened. I found him a mess. He began screaming at me, blaming me for what had happened. He ended up hitting me in the face with a beer bottle. I worked out the details between the yelled curses and the unintelligible screams. He looked close to killing me so I fled the house. I hunted down Turret to find out what had happened.” I frowned down at my hands. I didn’t need to mention to Eren that when I had gotten to his apartment, he had dragged me inside, demanding to know why I hadn’t visited him before then and had then proceeded to force me to have sex with him. I let him, of course. I blamed myself for what had happened to Isabel just as much as Farlan did. I let him have his way with me and when he’d gone to shoot up, I’d asked for some too. I had been clean for almost a year so the high was incredibly blissful. We had sex all night after that. 

“He didn’t have information about Isabel, but he did have drugs so I took some with him,” I continued. “Farlan called me a few days later.” I had spent all that time with Turret, high out of mind while Erwin called me incessantly, trying to find me. “He was distraught and apologized profusely for what he’d said and done. I brushed him off and eventually he hung up in a panic.” I didn’t leave Turret’s place. Beneath the ecstatic blur of my high was the creeping sense of concern for Farlan’s well-being, but I didn’t act on it.

“Eventually, I went back to Farlan’s place. He kept a spare key under his mat so when he didn’t answer, I let myself end. I found him in the bathtub with his wrists slit.” I had raced across the room and slipped in a pool of blood. I had tried to shake him awake, but he was already long dead. “I called Erwin and he came to the apartment. He sorted everything out. I don’t remember much of what happened because I went into withdraw again. Erwin organized both of their funerals and worked out Julianna’s adoption. He knew the Sanchezs through work so he contacted them because he knew they were looking to adopt.” I had met them for the first time about a year later when I had finally decided to come to terms with everything that had happened, and see Farlan and Isabel’s child with my own eyes. The Sanchezs had been more than willing to let me see her. Erwin had gone with me to their house. We only stayed for a few minutes because I ended up freaking out. He took me home and I balled my fucking eyes out for hours. Julianna looked just like Isabel and Farlan.

Erwin eventually got me almost completely back to the happy, sober self I’d been after I had first gotten clean. I continued to live with him and Mike, and by then he’d given me a job at Survey Corps.. I turned out to be an incredible asset to the company and quickly rose through the ranks. It was a lot like working in the gang, though what we did wasn’t illegal and didn’t hurt anyone. I had asked Erwin if I could move out about two years ago and he’d bought me an apartment in the building Mike’s architectural firm had been working on. I had been clean ever since then, though I’d come close to falling off the wagon several times. I drank every once and while, but my biggest and most self-damaging vice had always been the drugs. Even my nicotine intake I had Erwin monitor. He didn’t smoke himself, but like tonight he would give me a cigarette if I asked for one and never more than two. I was the first to admit that I was dependent on Erwin’s care, but he never overindulged my dependency, and knew where to draw the line if I asked for too much.

I sighed quietly. It was exhausting telling that story, and remembering all that shit left a bad taste in my mouth. 

“That’s, that’s it,” I finally said by way of conclusion. I glanced up at Eren for the first time since we’d sat down on the couch.

Tears pooled in his turquoise eyes. When I met his gaze, he let out a quiet sob and threw himself against my chest. I gasped in quiet surprised. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him against me as he sobbed quietly.

“Why are you crying, silly?” I said. 

“I’m sorry,” he sniffled. He tilted his head back and rested his chin on my chest. “It’s just, all that is so horrible. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a small smile. I patted his hair gently.

He wriggled against my chest and curled his legs up on the couch. He was like a giant puppy honestly. 

“Thanks for telling me,” he mumbled.

“Thanks for listening. You probably didn’t know what you were getting yourself into,” I said with a rueful laugh.

“No,” he said with a small shake of his. “It was a lot, but I’m glad you told me.”

“Same,” I said. I leaned down and gave him a small kiss on the forehead. 

At that moment, my phone began to buzz. I shifted underneath Eren, who refused to disentangle himself from me, and pulled my phone out of my back pocket. 

“It’s Erwin,” I said. I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Levi, did you get home safe?” Erwin asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I stroked Eren’s hair as I spoke. 

“Will you let Eren know that I squared away the sale with Nile? The commission fee for the gallery was fifteen percent, so he’ll be getting a check for six thousand, eight hundred.”

“I’ll tell him. He’s right here.”

“What’s up?” Eren asked. 

“Erwin bought the piece,” I relayed to him. “The gallery takes a fifteen percent fee for putting piece on sale so you’ll get six thousand, eight hundred for the final sale."

“Oh, awesome,” Eren said with an excited smile. He frowned. “Should I have stayed to sort that out with Erwin and Nile?”

I had pulled the phone away from my ear and put it speaker so Erwin had heard his question.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You had already filled out the necessary paperwork on your end.”

“Okay, thanks, Erwin,” Eren said happily. 

“Of course,” Erwin said. “Levi, I’ll come drop the piece off at your apartment tomorrow.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Eren said you wanted it.” 

Eren gave me a pleased smile from where he lay in my lap. I blinked down at him and the phone in my hand. I couldn’t quite believe Erwin was going to give me Eren’s art just like that. He’d paid so much for it and was going to give it to me just like that. A small smile crawled over my lips. I would never know what I had done to deserve Erwin.

Eren sat up and suddenly pressed his lips against mine. I gasped against his mouth and closed my eyes. It was a chaste kiss and he pulled back a moment later.

“Th-thanks, Erwin,” I said as I quickly glanced down at the phone.

Eren was smirking in a self-satisfied manner as he lay back down in my lap.

“Of course,” Erwin said smoothly. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Okay, night.”

“Good night.”

I hung up and glanced down at Eren. He smiled up. 

“You look tired,” he said, reaching up and stroking my cheek.

“Mm.” I nodded. I was exhausted. Erwin and I had been in meetings all day, and then seeing Julianna had been like a punch to the throat. Telling my story to Eren had also taken a lot out of me.

“Do you wanna go to bed?” he asked as he toyed with my bangs.

“Yeah, let’s sleep,” I said. 

Eren and I were in bed together about ten minutes later. He fell asleep almost before he’d hit the pillow. He had looked just as exhausted as me. He was curled on his side next to me, hugging one of my pillows against his chest. I gazed down at him. He was bathed in the moonlight that spilled through the windows, which gave his skin something of an ethereal glow. Erwin was the only other person, who’d heard that story from my own lips. Hange had pieced together the general idea of what had happened to their former classmates, but I’d never told them myself. I was fairly certain I knew what had prompted me to tell Eren. The thought both thrilled and terrified me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there you have it folks, levi's life story. what a fucking roller coaster that was. i hope everyone enjoyed in so far as it can be enjoyable. eren and levi had a cute moment at the end there. and hm i wonder what prompted levi to tell eren all that i think we call all guess lmao <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone liked the last chapter! i mean, like is a bit strong, but i hope it was compelling and well-written and shit. anyway here's some smut lmao

**Eren’s POV**

 

I blinked my eyes open slowly. Levi’s familiar bedroom materialized before my gaze. I moaned quietly and rolled onto my side. Levi glanced down at me. He was leaning against the headboard with a book propped on his knees. He was dressed in small, black briefs and a baggy t-shirt. 

“Morning,” he said with a small smile as he put the book aside. He leaned down and gave me a light kiss on the temple.

“Hi,” I said groggily. “What time is it?”

“Almost ten,” he said. 

“Still tired," I mumbled. 

Levi chuckled quietly and petted my hair gently. I stared up at him out of the corner of my eye. I still couldn't quite believe he had opened up so much to me the night before. I knew he hadn’t told me everything. He’d glossed over whatever relationship he’d had with that Turret guy in a way that made me suspect the worst, but honestly, because it was Levi, it was a miracle he’d told me anything. 

“Levi?" I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Do you blame yourself for Isabel and Farlan?” I had wanted to ask him this last night, but I hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him. It had clearly taken a lot of him to tell me the general idea of his life before Erwin.

“I did,” Levi said as he toyed with my hair. “I still don't know if it was my fault Isabel got attacked; if they did it to get back at me for leaving the gang. I haven’t bothered trying to find out. It doesn’t really matter one way or the other.” He let out a quiet sigh. “My half-assed attempt to find out ended with me strung out again, so I’ve let it be. Farlan was definitely my fault.” He nodded slowly. “I should have gone straight to his apartment when he hung up on me.”

“He was the one you mentioned when you came over to my place last weekend, right?” I said quietly.

“Yeah,” Levi said. “There’s a lot of things from back then that I regret, but I regret not going to his apartment after he hung up on me the most. I’ve come to terms with what happened. All I can do now is try not to make another choice I’ll regret.”

I nodded. I shifted over on the bed and rubbed my forehead against his hip. Levi chuckled quietly as he continued to card his fingers through my hair.

“You’re like a little puppy,” he said with a small smile. 

I laughed as I sat up. I pressed a quick kiss against his lips.

“Ew. Brush your teeth first,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Sorry,” I mumbled. I hung my head sheepishly. I knew I had pretty bad morning breath, but I’d wanted to give Levi a good-morning kiss.

“Alright. Just this one time,” Levi said as he caught my chin and slotted our lips together. 

I moaned quietly into the kiss. Levi even humored me by slipping his tongue into my mouth. The kiss lasted for a few more moments before Levi pulled back.

“Gross,” he said, but he was smiling. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“I’m fine with anything,” I said with a shrug. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Brush your teeth,” Levi ordered.

“I know,” I pouted.

Levi laughed and kissed me on the forehead. He climbed out of bed and walked over to the dresser. I stared at his ass as he bent down to fish out a pair of sweatpants. It was honestly a perfect ass. This much I knew from staring at it for forty-five minutes while drawing him. I seriously wanted to fuck him.

“Stop drooling over my ass and go brush your teeth,” Levi said as he pulled on his pants. 

I flushed brightly and hopped out of bed. Luckily, Hange’s baggy sweats did a sufficient job of hiding my half-hard dick. Levi left the bedroom and I went into the bathroom. I freshened up. When I had finished, I leaned against the sink and stared at the porcelain basin. 

The things Levi had told me ate away at me. He was far from an upbeat person, but it was a miracle he was functioning at all after all the shit he’d been through. He had never come off as fragile. Even when I had seen his scars, I hadn’t thought of him that way. He would probably hate it if I ever thought of him as such, but, watching his face as he talked last night, I had seen a hint of that . He was just barely keeping it together even now. Seeing Julianna again had really sent him around the bend. If Erwin hadn’t been there, he could have freaked out entirely. It was stupid, petty, and selfish, but I wished I could be the person who helped Levi like that. I probably needed to get my own shit together before I could help him with his. 

“Took you long enough,” Levi said as I finally padded down the steps. 

“I had to make sure I was all fresh and clean for you,” I said with a cheeky grin as I plopped down on the couch.

Levi walked over to me with two bowls of yogurt in his hands. He set them down on the coffee table and moved to the couch. 

“I suppose I should thank you for that,” he said. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his sweats and pushed them down. 

I swallowed as he straddled me on the couch. His slid his arms slowly around my neck. My breath caught in my throat. My hard-on had gone down while I was in the bathroom, but now it was back with a vengeance.

“Erwin’s going to be here soon.” His breath ghosted over my neck and I shivered. He nipped lightly at my jugular. “If you want, you can fuck me before he gets here.” 

“What?” I gasped. My hands grabbed his hips and I pushed him back.

He sat down on my knees and cocked his head to the side as he stared at my shocked face.

“What yourself,” he said. “You were the one ogling my ass, so you want to, or not?”

“I want to,” I said in a rush as I nodded earnestly. “Just, I’ve never…” I flushed and averted my gaze.

Levi leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I gasped and he forced his tongue into my mouth. I moaned loudly and my grip on his hips tightened. He pulled back a minute later. 

“Just sit back and let me ride you then,” he said. He stood up and picked up his sweatpants. He fished out lube and a condom. 

“L-Levi,” I stuttered as he slipped off his briefs and straddled me once more.

“You’re such a blushing virgin,” he said with a chuckle as he pressed the condom into my hand. He paused and gazed into my eyes. “You want to, right?”

“Yes,” I whispered. 

“Good,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “I’ll make you feel good.”

“Fuck,” I whispered quietly as I watched him lather his fingers with lube.

He gripped the back of the couch as he sat up on his knees. He reached behind his back and slid a finger into his hole. He gasped quietly. His cock was half-hard and twitching between his legs. I caught it in my hand, causing him to gasp again. I coaxed it to full erection as he continued to open himself up. My own dick was straining in my pants. I shifted beneath him and worked my sweats off my hips with my other hand. I caught his waist and pulled him into my lap. He groaned as his hand pressed against my thigh. I caught both our lengths in one hand and rubbed them together.

“Shit,” he hissed as he dropped his forehead against my shoulder. He rocked his hips forward, causing us both to let out a moan. 

I stared down his back as he worked in a second finger. He whimpered quietly and his other hand grabbed my arm. 

“You okay?” I asked as I continued to jerk him off.

“Mm-hm,” he said tightly. “It’s been a while.” 

“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked. My cock was throbbing against his in my hand. I was painfully aroused from watching him fuck himself, so I sincerely hoped it was okay.

“You think I'd fuck my own ass if it wasn't okay?” he said thickly as he sat up on his knees again. “I’m ready.” 

He pulled his fingers out of his hole and shifted forward. I quickly opened the condom and unrolled it on my shaft. My heart was beating frantically. This was really happening. I was about to lose my topping-virginity and to _Levi_. I couldn't have imagined a better scenario in my wildest fantasies. Levi handed me the lube and I slicked my length. I grabbed his hips as he reached down and took my cock in his small hand. I gasped. Slowly, he lowered himself toward my length. His teeth were buried in his lip and his forehead was scrunched up in concentration. The tip of my cock brushed his puckered hole and my hips thrust up instinctually. 

“Stay still,” he said as his grip tightened on my shoulder.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just let me.” He pressed a quick kiss to my lips as he pushed down on the crown of my cock. He broke back from the kiss with a grunt. His eyes were squeezed shut as he slowly forced himself down on my cock.

My fingers dug into his hips hard enough that I knew I would leave bruises, but he didn’t tell me to loosen my grip. He rolled his hips slightly and pushed down further. I gasped and bucked up, burying my cock several more inches inside of him.

Levi cried out. He clapped his hands over his mouth. His eyes sprang open and he glared at me. His cheeks were flushed and his gray eyes shimmered. His thighs trembled and his knees pressed against my hips.

“Sorry,” I hissed as I tried to still my twitching hips.

“Just stay still,” he panted as he dropped his hands to my shoulders. 

“Sorry,” I said again. It felt like my skin was on fire. His moist heat pulsed around my length. My head was starting to spin and I wanted nothing more to pound into him. 

Levi bit his lip and lowered himself further. He rolled his hips slightly. The head of my cock brushed _that_ place and his passage spasmed. Levi _whined._

“Fuck.” I tightened my hold on his hips and slammed him down all the way.

Levi choked on a gasp. He fell against my chest. His shoulders shook and he moaned. His passage twitched. I shifted my hips slightly and he cried out.

“Don’t, don’t move,” he panted.

“Sorry, are you okay?” I asked in a voice tight with arousal. It was taking all my will power not to fuck him senseless, but I didn’t want to hurt him.

“Nng-hm,” he confirmed desperately as he nodded against my chest. “Just give me a second.” He rolled his hips slightly as he tried to adjust. He whimpered and his nails dug into my shoulders.

“You're so sensitive,” I whispered. 

Levi nodded again. He lifted himself an inch off my cock and slid back down. I couldn't resist thrusting up to meet him. Levi whined again. The sound went straight to my dick and it swelled in pleasure. 

“D-don’t get bigger when you’re already inside, idiot,” he worked out between pants.

“Levi, I need to move,” I grunted. 

It felt like his passage was choking my dick. I gripped his hips. I was seriously going come in a matter of minutes and I wanted to fuck him as much as possible before them. He was so incredibly tight and his passage was practically sucking me in. 

“Okay, just slowly, please,” he said quietly.

I pulled him off my cock and thrust into him as I dragged him back down. He threw his head back and his passage spasmed. 

“I said slowly,” he groaned. 

I leaned forward and scraped my teeth over his taut throat as I continued to thrust into him. Since he’d given me the go ahead, I could no longer control myself. I pounded into him and soon he was shaking and whimpering desperately. I dropped my mouth to his chest and bit his nipple through his shirt. He cried out and quickly bit the back of his hand. 

“D-don’t,” he whimpered.

“Fuck, Levi.” I moaned as I pressed my forehead against his chest. I stared down at his cock as I slammed into him.

His dick was dripping precome and twitching desperately. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back.

“Don’t stare, idiot,” he hissed. He pressed his lips against mine.

I groaned into the kiss as I continued to fuck him. He whimpered as his fingers clung desperately to my hair. His entire body was quaking. He was so exceptionally sensitive. My head was swimming as his passage contracted desperately around my length.

“Fuck, Levi,” I said as I pulled back from the kiss. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Ah—nngh,” he whimpered.

“Can I do this again?” I asked desperately as I continued to pound into him.

“Mm-hm,” he said as he nodded frantically. “Please, just come. I think I’m gonna die.” He met my gaze with his glazed-over silver eyes. His mouth hung open slightly and his cheeks were practically glowing with his blush.

I came hard. Levi’s fingers tightened in my hair and his passage constricted as I pumped my cum into the condom. He whined and came over his own chest. Pearly white strands of cum spurted over his shirt.

“Disgusting,” he panted.

“Hot.” I pressed my lips to his and he moaned quietly.

He was still trembling. When I pulled back from the kiss, he fell against my chest. He panted shallowly, his shoulders rising and falling heavily. I carefully lifted him off my wilting dick. I slipped off the condom and tied it off. I tossed it gently toward the waste basket by the end of the couch. It actually went in. Good thing too; Levi probably would have killed me if it hadn't.

“How was that?” he asked in a husky voice. “Better than your hand?” He sat back and smirked at me.

“Fuck, yeah,” I whispered.

He laughed quietly. I carefully lifted him off my lap and set him down on the couch.

“I’ll get you something to clean up with,” I said.

“Okay.”

I went to the bathroom and dampened a washcloth. I returned to the couch to find Levi lying across the cushions with his arm draped over his eyes. His cheeks were still flushed, but he’d managed to catch his breath again.

“How do you feel?” I asked as I knelt on the couch and began to clean him up.

“My ass feels like it’s fucking on fire,” he said.

“Sorry about that,” I said with a laugh.

“No, you’re not,” he huffed. He dropped his arm behind his head and scowled up at me.

“Mm, you’re right. I’m not.” I grinned as I leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss.

“Brat,” he muttered. He sat up slowly. “Ah, this shirt is gross.” He grimaced down at his t-shirt, which I’d tried to wipe his cum off of. He shook his head and pulled it off. “I’m gonna shower.” He stood up.

For a brief moment he was completely naked in front of me. And fuck was he hot, but more than I aroused, I felt incredibly happy that he was willing to show all of him to me. He bent down and slipped on his briefs. 

“Eat your breakfast,” he said as he picked up his sweatpants. He gave me a quick kiss before turning away. He took his sweats and his shirt with him as he went upstairs.

I smiled happily as I picked up one of the bowls of yogurt. Topping Levi had been amazing. I never knew someone could be so freaking sensitive. He had looked so completely overwhelmed. I loved that he'd showed me that side of himself. I knew he'd been with plenty of people, but, from the sound of it, a lot of those times he had been far from willing. To have him bottom for me of his own volition meant so much to me. I wanted to tell him this, but I had no idea how to articulate what I was feeling. _Thanks for letting me fuck your brains out_ didn’t quite cut it. _Thanks for being mine completely_ came a touch closer to what I felt.

The sound of the doorbell ringing made me look toward the front door. 

“Eren,” Levi called from upstairs. “That’s Erwin. Will you let him in?”

_Right_ , I thought as I got off the couch and went to the door. _He has Erwin, who is the person who means the world to him._ I knew I was being childish and selfish, but I wanted to be the most important person in Levi’s life. I doubted I could ever be more important to him than Erwin was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren's being a tit but he's a jealous little bab and i live on angst so ofc i'm going end like that lmao. i hope everyone enjoyed bottom!levi. if you didn't idk what to tell you lmao


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted this once before today, but i didn't like how i ended it (i only wrote eren's pov part) so i checked out this http://toxzen.tumblr.com/post/145633540412/ways-to-un-stick-a-stuck-story and i came up with the scene that happens in levi's pov  
> i hope everyone likes the chapter~
> 
> cw: panic attacks, self-harm

**Eren’s POV**

 

I opened the door of Levi’s apartment to admit Erwin. Levi’s boss smiled down at me over the large box he carried. I recognized the stamp on it as the symbol of the Rose Gallery. This must be my sculpture, which Erwin was giving to Levi. 

“Good morning, Eren,” Erwin said in that smooth, charismatic voice of his.

“Hi," I said. It wasn’t quite as formal a greeting, but I hadn’t eaten all my yogurt yet so my blood sugar was a little low. “Levi’s in the shower.” I stepped aside to let Erwin in.

The man nodded and walked past me. He took the box to the counter and began to carefully unpack it. I returned to the couch and knelt on it so I was facing him while I finished my breakfast.

“Nile was very impressed that one of the students’ works sold this much,” Erwin said as he lifted my sculpture out of the box.

_You probably weren’t bidding on any of the other ones. Stupid rich people_ , I thought. I was grateful to Erwin for purchasing my piece for so much, but even he had to admit eight thousand was rather excessive. 

“Nile was saying how he wants to feature more of your art in the gallery on sale to give you some incentive,” Erwin said. He turned around and leaned back against the counter.

I gaped up at him with my spoon of yogurt halfway to my mouth. Erwin chuckled at my stunned reaction.

“For real?” I asked weakly as I set the spoon back in the bowl. 

“Yes,” Erwin said. He smiled warmly down at me. “He doesn’t typically like having “amateur” work in his gallery, but he liked your piece.” Erwin gestured to the sculpture on the counter. 

“Whoa, that’s awesome,” I breathed. I probably wouldn’t get lucky another time and sell a piece for eight thousand—technically six thousand, eight hundred—but it would still be a great source of income.

“Morning,” Levi called as he walked down the stairs. He was dressed in tight, gray-washed jeans and a loose, black sweater. A small towel was draped over his wet hair. 

“Good morning, Levi,” Erwin said. 

Levi’s eyes found my sculpture and he quickly crossed the room. He slid the towel off his head so it sat around his neck and gazed down at my work. I watched him excitedly as he stared. He looked up at Erwin and his face broke in a large smile. I’d never seen him smile so broadly.

“Thanks, Erwin,” he said. 

“I’m going to go shower,” I said as I got off the couch and put my bowl on the table.

“Alright,” Levi said, though his attention had returned to my sculpture.

I left the room hurriedly and barricaded myself in the upstairs bathroom. I stripped and climbed into the shower under a flow of hot water. I knew I was being childish where Erwin was concerned, but I was rather childish by nature in some aspects. Apparently, because of my parents, I had had to grow up too fast in some regards but my maturity wasn’t completely on par with my age. That was what Armin had told me once. He hadn’t meant anything insulting by it; he had just considered it important that I was aware of this fact. 

Being aware of the problem didn’t make it go away, and I found myself annoyed with Erwin and how open Levi was with him. This was disgustingly selfish of me. Levi deserved all the happiness in the world after all the shit he’d been through, but I was enough of an immature ass that I wanted to be sole source of that happiness. 

I scrubbed myself furiously as if that could rid myself of this stupid thoughts. This was completely ineffective of course and I got out of the shower even more peeved than when I had gotten in. Some of this annoyance stemmed from Erwin’s entire existence—stupid, perfect, rich prick—but most of it was directed at myself. 

I got dressed in the clothes I’d worn to the gallery the night before and went back downstairs. There was no sign of Erwin and Levi, but I heard their voices coming from the entry hall. I walked toward them, but paused when Levi’s clear words reached my ears.

“Yeah, I told him the general gist of things,” Levi was saying. “I left out most of the shit Turret did to me, since I didn’t want to overwhelm him.” He released a bitter laugh. “I also didn’t mention how much I enjoyed debt collecting. He doesn’t need to know how disgusting I was. I painted myself as the real victim when most of it had been my fault.”

My heart froze in my chest and I stared down at the floor without really seeing it. Levi’s words echoed in my head. He’d liked it; he’d liked harassing people, bursting in their homes, stealing their possessions from them. He’d liked doing that to my family.

“Levi,” Erwin said chidingly, “we’ve been over this: you were strung out on heroin during your debt collecting years. Those emotions were tied to the drugs.”

“I know,” Levi muttered, “but did I tell you his family was one of the ones I collected from?” 

“No, you didn’t,” Erwin said in surprise.

“Yeah, I bumped into his dad when I was going over to Eren’s apartment and he recognized me.Eren’s mom was really sick during that time and apparently having me and the others collecting from their family stressed her to death.”

“That’s not your fault,” Erwin said. “If she was sick to begin, then you have no reason to take full responsible for what happened to her. Though that does sound like an awful situation for Eren. Have you talked to him about this?”

“Yes,” Levi said. “We sorted it out and he doesn’t hold it against me.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Erwin asked. “Don’t let this eat away at you. If you want to talk to him, talk to him. If not, let it go.” 

From the sound of things, their conversation was coming to a close, so I figured I should make myself known before I was caught eavesdropping. I was embarrassed and felt incredibly guilty for doing just that. I couldn’t quite imagine Levi taking pleasure out of hurting other people, but if he had been as doped up as he and Erwin had said, then it wasn’t really his fault. From the sound of things, however, he still felt a huge amount of remorse. If he did talk to me about this, I’d have to make it clear that I didn’t hold anything against him.

“Are you leaving?” I asked as I walked around the corner. 

Erwin dropped his hand from Levi’s shoulder as he looked over at me. Levi glanced at me at the corner of his eye. His bottom lip sucked in slightly as he gnawed on it.

“I am,” Erwin said. “It was good to see you.”

“You too, and thanks again for buying my piece,” I said with a smile. 

Erwin left with a small wave. Levi turned toward me. His face was devoid of emotion as was typical for him, but there was a small glint of nervousness in his gaze that I probably wouldn’t have picked up on if I hadn’t heard his conversation with Erwin.

“I have a class today,” he said. “Do you want to go out for brunch before then?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” I closed the gap between us and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “If you want to talk about anything from last night, I’ll always listen.”

“Thanks,” he said as he dropped his gaze to the floor. 

* * *

We didn’t end up discussing Levi’s past further. I had hoped that my comment would open the door for him to bring up his concerns about the debt collecting, but he seemed to have decided to let it go as Erwin had advised.

During brunch, I got an email from my dean about the scholarship. There was yet more paperwork I needed to fill out apparently. The amount of paperwork they wanted from applicants was probably meant to deter people who didn’t actually want or need a scholarship. It became a pain in the ass for those of us who did. Levi helped me look through the paperwork and explained some of the more convoluted language used.

I also told him about how Nile wanted to showcase more of my art in his gallery. Levi was just as excited about this as I had been. I had admitted to him that I didn’t have much else that I imagined as being on par with the piece Erwin had bought. Levi had assuaged my worries with a few kind words. He recommended I go talk to Hannes and I agreed that was a good idea. He also pointed out that this would help with my financial situation. According to him, Nile would pay me a small fee for just having my art in the gallery and on top of that there was always the chance that my pieces would sell. There was still the issue of my tuition for next year in case I didn’t get the scholarship, but between getting work in Rose Gallery and the small savings I had, I’d be set for the rest of the semester without sugaring. I informed Levi of this fact and he looked like I’d told him Christmas had come early.

After brunch, he took me back to my apartment. I gave him a quick kiss before I climbed out of the car. He told me he’d text me later and waited for me to get into my apartment for driving off. 

When I got settled in my room—all three of my roommates were out—I texted Armin asking if he would help me study for the Calc test I had two weeks from now. He agreed and said he’d be over in a few. Typically I would spend weekend nights with clients. I really liked the idea that that would no longer be my life; I could do my homework on Sunday nights now like a normal college student. I had made an irrational fuss about quitting the sugaring when Levi had brought it up, but that was because I hadn’t had an alternative now. Now I had Rose Gallery to support me financially and with Armin’s help I felt fairly optimistic that I’d be able to get my grade up. 

I honestly felt happier now than I had in a long time. Levi was the primary reason for this being the case. Just thinking about him made me brim with happiness. He was also the reason I was seriously thinking about quitting sex work for good. It was dramatic and a bit inaccurate to say he had saved me. I hadn’t needed saving to start with. He was just improving my life to the point where I was really looking forward to waking up each morning. For this, I was incredibly grateful to him.

* * *

**Levi’s POV**

 

I stopped back at my apartment to park my car in the garage and grab my bag. I had been considering skipping class because last night had been so overwhelming, but I’d decided that the class would help get my mind off of telling Eren my life story the night before. I was feeling a little better after my talk with Erwin. I had always felt ashamed about the enjoyment I had garnered from loan sharking, but this feeling had been amplified after I had learned that I had collected from Eren’s family. Our conversation had helped reassure me that I had nothing to worry about, but last night had brought this thought back to the forefront of my mind. I had never been good at letting things go, so I should probably talk to Eren about this before I let it eat away from me completely.

The building where was class was held was a few blocks away, so I set out on foot. I gripped the strap of my bag tightly as I navigated the city crowds. I preferred driving because it kept me out of crowds, but driving somewhere so close by was stupid.

I stopped in the convenience store around the corner from my class’s building. The class was four hours long since it met once every other week. I would need food and an energy drink to get through it. I purchased my usual pack of sushi and a Red Bull. I was pushing the sushi pack into my bag so I didn’t notice someone entering the store and bumped squarely into them.

“Hey, watch it,” a gruff voice admonished.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Levi?” 

I looked up and for a second I forgot how to breath. Turret stood in the doorway of the convenience store. He looked much like he had the last day I’d laid eyes on him. Scruffy black hair clustered on his pointed chin. His coppery blond hair stuck out randomly around his face. His hazel eyes were wide as he stared down at me.

“Shit, I haven't seen you in forever. How’ve you been?” Turret asked as he clapped me on the shoulder. “I hear you’ve gone all respectable on us with a job and everything.” He laughed. 

“Uh, yes,” I said tightly. I had stiffened when he’d laid his hand on me, but he didn’t notice. My body began to tremble and I tried my best to suppress this. 

“We should get drinks some time,” Turret said. “I’ve missed you.”

“I have to go.” I could barely get my voice above a whisper.

“What’s that?” Turret asked as he leaned forward.

I could smell his cologne. It was the same cologne he’d worn four years ago. The scent assaulted my nostrils. My blood ran cold and my skin grew clammy.

“I have to go,” I repeated. “I have…somewhere I need to be.”

“Alright,” Turret said as he straightened. “Well, it’s good to see you. If you ever get lonely, you know where to find me.” He gave my ass a sharp squeeze as he walked into the store. 

I bolted. My legs carried me as quickly as they could managed back to my apartment. I raced up the concrete steps and fumbled with my keys. I finally got them out of my pocket and shoved them into the lock. I pulled open the glass door and ran to the elevator. I frantically slammed my fist against the button. 

I was trembling to an uncontrollable extent at this point. My breathing was coming in short, painful gasps. His smell still assaulted my senses and I swayed slightly. The elevator arrived and I stumbled inside. I jammed my thumb against the button for my floor. I dropped against the rail and released a quaking sigh. My skin felt like it was crawling and I was close to vomiting. The walls of the elevator seemed to close in on me and I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my head.

When the elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, I raced out. I ran to my apartment door and hurriedly unlocked it. I kicked the door shut behind me and dropped my bag on the floor. I needed something. I needed something to calm me down. What could I take? I didn’t have any anxiety meds because I’d get addicted to those. I had a six pack of beer in the fridge. That could do the trick. 

I ran to the fridge and yanked open the stainless steel door. My eyes fell on the pack of beer inside. Corona. That was Turret’s favorite brand. My stomach twisted. I spun and flung myself against the counter. I wretched and the contents of my stomach splattered inside the sink. 

My head was spinning and I was choking on sobs at this point. I had do something — _anything_ to rid myself of this horrible, all consuming feeling of panic. I glanced slowly over my shoulder and my eyes alighted on the knife block that sat on the counter behind me. I hadn’t done that in three years, but right now I needed to; I had to. Turret’s smiling face swam in my vision. I could hear his laughter echoing in my mind. I could feel his calloused hands on my skin; the stench of his cologne; the pain, all that pain. I stumbled away from the counter and reached out. My hand closed around the hilt of one of the knives and I slid it out of the block. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i forgot to mention at the end of the other chapter but turret is one of the characters from acwnr http://attackontitan.wikia.com/wiki/Flagon_Turret


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized the reason i was having trouble with the plot was because we're basically at the end of this. next chapter is going to be an epilogue of sorts. i'll probably write more with eren and levi in this universe (probs just smut one shots because i live for that sin) but yeah. this is the second to last chapter. i hope everyone enjoys~~

**Eren’s POV**

 

“Eren, you’re phone’s buzzing,” Armin said. 

I glanced up from the problem set I was working. Armin and I were gathered around the coffee table in my apartment with my Calculus work strewn out before us. We had been working for about thirty minutes now. I was gradually garnering a better understanding for the work under Armin’s tutelage. 

“Oh, my bad,” I said. I grabbed my phone and answered without looking. “Hello?”

“Erwin?” Levi’s trembling voice came to me through the speak.

“Uh, no, Levi, it’s Eren.” I stood up slowly. Something about Levi’s tone worried me. 

“S-sorry,” Levi stuttered.

“Levi, what’s wrong?”

“Could you take an Uber over to my apartment?” Levi’s voice was quiet and there was a strain of barely contained panic. “I can pay you back.”

“Don’t you have class?” I asked. _And hadn’t he meant to call Erwin in the first place?_

Armin was staring up at me with an expression of concern. When I glanced down at him, he cocked his head to the side curiously. I shook my head in confusion. I didn’t understand what was going on. Levi sounded scared, and that terrified me. 

“Please, come over,” Levi murmured.

“I will! I will!” I said hurriedly. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Just hang tight, okay? I’m coming.”

Levi hung up. I immediately opened up my Uber app and summoned the closest car. 

“Sorry, Armin, I have to go,” I said as I ran to the apartment door and began to pull on my shoes.

“Eren, what’s wrong? Is Levi okay?” Armin asked as he hurried after me.

“I, I don’t know,” I said. I slowly straightened. “Something didn’t sound right.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Armin offered.

“That’s okay,” I said. 

Levi was a really private person and he’d probably be upset if I brought a friend along when he was…having an issue. I had no idea what was going on, but there was definitely something wrong with Levi.

“I’m really sorry,” I said.

“Don’t worry,” Armin assured me. He squeezed my arm gently. “I’ll clean up here. You go.”

“Okay, thanks.” 

I turned and ran out of the apartment. I raced down the stairs, not bothering with the elevator. I ran outside just as the Uber was pulling up. I clambered in. The driver was a friendly guy and tried to strike up conversation, but I was too freaked out to get out more than a short ‘mm’ or a nod. He eventually ceased his efforts, but could tell something was the matter, so he focused on driving as quickly as he could.

“Thank you!”  I called as I climbed out of the car. I ran up the steps of Levi’s apartment building. I keyed Levi’s apartment number into the intercom and called him. He picked up after the third ring.

“Eren?”

“Levi! I’m here. Buzz me in!”

There was a sharp buzz and the door clicked open. I grabbed the handle and yanked it open all the way. I ran over to the elevator. Levi lived on the twelfth floor; there was no way I was running all the way up there. I called the elevator and paced impatiently in front of the double chrome doors. My mind was a mess with confusion. What was going on? Why had he thought he was calling Erwin, but then asked me to come over?

The elevator arrived and I hurried inside. The ride up to Levi’s floor lasted only thirty seconds, but it felt like eternity. I rushed through the doors when they were just wide enough to admit me. I ran down the short hall to Levi’s door. I grabbed the handle, expecting it to be locked, and was surprised when the door swung open. I stumbled forward and looked around.

“Levi?” I called.

He was sitting on the floor below the intercom at the end of the short hall. His head rested on his knees, which were drawn up to his chest. I closed the door behind me and slowly crossed the space between us.

“Levi, are you okay?” I asked quietly as I knelt down beside him. 

His hand slowly slid out from beneath his legs. His long, pale fingers were gripped tightly around a kitchen knife. I watched in horror as he pushed the knife toward me. I reached out and caught his fingers. I carefully worked his grip loose and took the knife from him. The blade was clean. He hadn’t done it. 

“Levi, what happened?” I asked as I placed the knife on the floor behind me.

“I’m sorry I called you out of nowhere,” he murmured quietly. He didn’t look at me. “I meant to call Erwin.”

“If you need him, I can call him for you,” I said. I had no idea what was going on or what to do, so I had none of my petty qualms about getting Erwin involved. If he could help Levi, then I wanted him here.

“No, I’m glad I called you.” His voice was low and muffled slightly by how close his face was his knees.

“What happened?” I asked just as quietly. 

He seemed so delicate and fragile curled in on himself like this. I didn’t want to scare him from speaking to loudly. My hand hadn’t left his. His fingers twined around mine and gripped tightly. It was a touch painful, but I didn’t mind.

“Turret,” Levi said as he lifted his head. He stared at the wall across from his. His face was gaunt and his eyes were bloodshot. “I saw Turret.”

“Where?” I asked in a quaking voice. I recognized that name; Turret was the guy who had put Levi through hell. 

“I was at the convenience store and he came in as I was leaving. He touched me.” Levi’s entire body shuddered as he spoke those words. “I could smell his cologne.” He bit his lips and his shoulders trembled. 

“Did it make you want to…?” I gestured at the knife over my shoulder.

“Yes, I wanted to just drink,” Levi said with a huff of bitter laughter. “Corona was his favorite beer. There was always a pack in the fridge. I don’t have any other substances here. Erwin has my cigarettes and I can’t use anxiety meds because I get addicted to easily. So I…I—“ Levi drew in a shaking breath through his nose as he gnawed on his lip.

“But you didn’t do it,” I said quickly. “You called me and you had to wait so long for me to get here, but you still didn’t do it.” I scooted forward slightly and sat down off my heels. I criss-crossed my legs and gave his hand a light squeeze. “That’s really amazing, Levi.” I didn’t know what else to say, but I was honestly so impressed that he had lasted so long without doing it. 

“But I wanted to,” Levi said quietly. “I wanted to for the first time in three years.”

“Something happened that was really triggering for you,” I said slowly. “You shouldn’t feel upset with yourself or ashamed that you wanted to. You should be proud that you didn’t.”

Levi rotated his head slowly and stared at me. His eyes were more sunken than usual and there was a haunting gleam in their grey depths. He stared at me for several moments without even blinking. Oh, god, had I messed up? Had I said something I shouldn’t have? Was I making it worse?

“S-sorry,” I stuttered frantically. “Did I say something wrong? I don’t, I don’t know what to do in this situation. I’m sorry; I wanna help you, but I don’t know what to do. You always know what to do help me and I wanna help you like that too. I—“

“Thank you, Eren,” Levi said quietly. He dropped his knee to the side and sat forward. He cupped my cheek in his hand. “Everything you said was perfect. Thank you.” His face softened with a small smile. “I love you, Eren.”

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. I felt my cheeks heat up under Levi’s hand. I blinked slowly. A small tremor coursed through my body as I stared into Levi’s eyes.

“I—“

“You don’t have to say it back if it’s not how you feel right now,” Levi said. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to say it because I did. If you say it, I want you to really mean it.”

“Okay,” I whispered quietly.

“Thank you for coming, Eren.” Levi stroked my cheek. “I didn’t do it because I knew you were coming. Thank you.”

“Do you feel better now?” I asked quietly.

“A little,” Levi said. “I still want to do something, but it helps that you’re here.” He sat back against the wall and stretched his legs in front of him.

I shifted so I was leaning against the wall too. His grip on my hand loosened and he laced his fingers with mine. I gazed down at our intertwined hands. I was so incredibly grateful that he hadn’t hurt himself. It stunned me to think that he hadn’t because of me. Not only that, but also his confession had rocked me to my core. I wanted to hold his hand like this forever; I wanted to be the one he called and I always wanted to be there for him. Just thinking about him warmed me to the core and the thought of losing him filled me with despair.

“Levi,” I said quietly.

“Mm?”

“I love you.” I left out the ‘too’ because I didn’t want it to sound like I was saying it in response to his confession. Because he had said it, I had figured out what I was feeling, but my saying those words wasn’t contingent on the fact that he had said it.

Levi dropped his head against my shoulder. He released a quiet sigh. I glanced down at him. His eyes were closed and a beautiful smile curved his lips. I’d never seen such an expression on him before.

“Levi, I want to quit sugaring.” I dropped my gaze to the floor. I felt him shift beside me so he was looking up at me, but I continued to avoid his gaze. “I want to move in with you after I graduate. I want to live with Annie for our senior year, but then, if we’re still together, I want to move in with you. Also, I’m sorry; I got jealous of Erwin this morning because I want to be your most special person. I was being really selfish, but I want you all to myself. I want to be the person you call first, not by accident. I-I don’t hold that against you. I’m really happy you reached out for help when you were in a bad place. I also realized that I should be more open to the idea of asking for help from people. I should accept help from the people who, who love me, so I wanted to to ask: will you, um, help me pay for my rent? And, and my tuition if I can’t get the scholarship?”

“Of course, Eren,” Levi said. He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the cheek. “Thank you for telling me all of that. It’s okay to be jealous, but just know that Erwin will always be incredibly important to me. I don’t love him the way I love you. He’s like my Annie.”

“O-okay, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Levi said. “I’ll help you pay for anything you want, and I’d love for you to move in with me after you graduate.”

“Gr-great,” I stammered quietly as a blush bathed my cheeks. “Thanks.”

“I know asking for help is really hard,” Levi said. “I’m proud of you.” He rested his head against my shoulder and closed his eyes again. “I’m tired. This day really took it out of me.”

“I’m sorry that I brought up my problems when something horrible happened to you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’d rather think about your problems than him.”

“Do you feel okay now?”

“I feel less sick and panicky,” Levi said. He released a small sigh. “I want to sleep. Will you carry me to my bed?”

“Sure.” I sat up on my knees and lifted Levi into my arms. I staggered slightly as I got to my feet.

“You aren’t going to drop me, are you?” he asked wryly as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

“Of course not,” I grumbled as I carried him toward the stairs.

“Be careful on the steps,” Levi said.

“I know, I know.” I made slow progress up the stairs. I released a sigh when I reached the top and Levi chuckled quietly. I entered his bedroom and took him to his bed. I laid him gently on the mattress. 

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” Levi asked as he moved into the middle of the bed. 

“Of course,” I said as kicked off my shoes and climbed in beside him. I laid down on the pillows beside him.

He rolled onto his side so he was facing me and slipped his hand in mine. He scooted a touch closer and coiled his small body around my arm. This was the closest we’d come to cuddling and my heart felt like it was ricocheting inside my chest.

“Thank you for coming, Eren,” Levi said.

“No problem,” I muttered sheepishly.

Levi chuckled quietly.

“Thanks for agreeing to help me pay for things and for putting up with me being jealous and for—“

“You could just say ‘thanks for everything,’” Levi said.

“That’s too dramatic,” I muttered.

“I love you, Eren.”

“I love you, too, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ewwwwwww so sappy i want to die lmao i hope people liked it??? was it rushed??? idk... 
> 
> also i have another idea for an au with these two so if i get that written soon i'll post it


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Eren’s POV**

 

**Eight Months Later**

 

"That's the last of them,” Levi said as he dropped the final cardboard box onto the pile we’d assembled in his living room.

“Finally,” I groaned as I put down my own box. I flopped onto the cool, hardwood floor.

“Now we just have to unpack everything,” Levi said with an emphatic nod. He was dressed in a loose t-shirt that covered his biceps and athletic shorts. He was actually glistening with sweat, which was in an annoying contrast to the actual buckets of sweat I was currently dripping.

“God, can we please take a break?” I moaned.

We’d been moving my shit into Levi’s apartment all day. There wasn’t a lot of it, but enough that all the heavy lifting had left me sore and whiny. On top of that, it was a blistering hot day outside.

“We can take a small break,” Levi said with a chuckle as he sat down on the floor beside me. He stretched his arms over his head and I heard his shoulders pop.

“Eren.”

I looked around at the sound of Mikasa’s voice. She and Annie were walking down the entry hall toward us. They had helped with the move since they could lift more than Levi and I put together. 

Mikasa and Levi had met a couple days after the fateful weekend when I had quit sugaring and Levi had pretty much bared his soul to me. It turned out that they were cousins; Levi’s mom and Mikasa’s mom were sisters. They had met once before at a family gathering that Levi’s uncle, Kenny, had taken him to. Mikasa and Levi probably would have grown up together had it not been for the car crash that had claimed Mikasa’s parents. It was strange to think that my boyfriend and the girl who was practically my sister were cousins and on top of that could have grown up together. 

Nevertheless, Mikasa had taken a disliking to Levi simply because he was boyfriend and therefore in a position to hurt me if things turned south. We’d had our ups and downs over the last few months, but we’d managed to pull through and here I was, a newly college grad, moving into his apartment just as we’d talked about that weekend.

“Annie and I are going to head back to her place,” Mikasa said. 

“Sounds good. Thanks for all your help.”

Levi nodded in agreement.

“No problem,” Annie said. “See ya.” She waved to me and Levi as she and Mikasa walked back to the elevator.

“Hey, Mikasa,” I called after her.

“Yeah?”

“Congrats again on winning the tournament.”

A broad smile broke across Mikasa’s face. She ducked her face into her scarf as she flushed. She had absolutely swept the tournament that she had lost last year and taken home the champion’s belt. Annie laughed at her girlfriend’s bashfulness. The pair left the apartment.

I sighed and fell back on the floor. My entire body was aching from moving things. Levi was accessing the boxes that now littered his living room. He was probably anxious to get everything sorted, but I was content to simply lie here and never move again.

It was strange thinking that I was now an alum of Trost University. Our graduation had been last Sunday. It had been a blur of activity. My dad had even showed up. He’d started to get his act together over the last few months. It turned out he hadn’t had interviews at the hospital and had just been using that as an excuse to take money from me. When I cut him off, he really needed to get his act together. He took up a janitorial job at an office building in the city, and he was actually working toward getting his medicine license back. He’d cut back on the drinking as well and he didn’t call me up drunk to harass me. At the grad ceremony, he even told me that my mother would have been proud of me. I had been trying really hard not to cry that day, but that had gotten the waterworks going. 

I had ended up wrangling the scholarship, which had made things so much easier. Between my tuition being paid almost in full by the school and the commission from Nile’s art gallery, I was able to stay afloat without sugaring. Levi had helped me out when my job at the cafe couldn’t quite cover the bills. He didn’t give me money as a loan or as an allowance. Instead, we decided to do it in lieu of Christmas presents and the like. It turned out Levi’s birthday was on Christmas, but since he abhorred both holidays, we simply stayed in and watched horror movies. I had hid my face in his lap the whole time with a blanket cocooning me. I loved horror movies, but they scared the shit out of me.

During the spring semester, I had also worked with Hannes to find possible jobs after college. I ended up landing a secretarial gig at Nile's art gallery. Erwin had put in a good word for me, since Nile had a tendency not to want to hire kids right out of school, since he deemed them too inexperienced. During my final semester I had started to learn the ropes at the gallery. It would be nice to work surrounded by art all day and get a feel for the other side of the industry.

It really had been a wonderful year. Even when Levi and I fought over petty shit because we were both stubborn assholes, we always managed to make it up to each other. I’d actually been happy the last few months in a way I’d never been before.

At first, Levi had been pretty scared to go out into the neighborhood around his apartment for fear of bumping into Turret again. I’d gone with him the next time he needed to go to his class. We’d gone to the convenience store together, bought his food for class, and headed to the building without incident. I met up with him after class as well. We’d gone to the convenience store again because I’d had a hankering for ice cream. We hadn’t met anyone from Levi’s past, but as we left the store, we overheard some kids talking about how there was a huge drugs bust that had happened the other day. Turret’s name was mentioned as one of the guys who’d been arrested. Levi had released a quiet sigh of relief and we’d gone about our business.

After it was confirmed that Turret was going to be spending quite some time behind bars, Levi’s mood improved greatly. He had been incredibly anxious before then, but now he was back to his usual, taciturn self. 

As I got to know him better the more I spent time with him, I learned that he had very bad depression and anxiety. This didn’t surprise me, considering his past, but it did throw me for a loop when he fell into a depressive spell for the first time. He didn't eat or sleep. He barely talked. He’d asked for time alone, and I’d give him just that only to find that he’d called up Erwin. Being my irrationally jealous self, I had been upset about this, but I’d talked to Annie about it, and she’d pointed out that Erwin had been his go-to person for four years. It would take time for me to become that person. I tried to be patient and tamp down on these feelings, but Levi picked up on them. He’d apologized for calling Erwin after asking to be alone and I had instantly felt like a total asshole. He’d explained to me that Erwin held onto Levi’s cigarettes and the sleep aide that he had to use sometimes. Erwin had only come by to give him some of these. He’d then asked if I would be okay keeping these things for him. 

That had been a huge turning point in our relationship. I was slowly taking on the role that Erwin had had for so many years. This wasn’t to say that I became the caretaker in the relationship. I was too much a cluster fuck in my own right for that. Levi took care of me more often than not because school, work, my dad, and money always beat me down into a funk. We took turns taking care of each other and it was nice. 

“What are you thinking about?” Levi asked as he gazed down at me.

“Just about this last year,” I said with a shrug.

“Mm, it was a pretty good one,” Levi said with a small smile. He’d been getting more and more open with his facial expressions with me, which also made me ridiculously happy. “Do you want to finish unpacking now or later?”

“Are you going to get antsy if the boxes are out like this?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Levi said. “Unless I’m distracted.” He smirked at me.

I pushed off the floor and pressed my lips against his. He hummed quietly into the kiss and wrapped his hands around my neck. We managed to get to our feet without breaking the kiss. Levi pulled me over to the couch. He flipped me around and pushed me over the arm of the couch. I gasped as I dropped onto the cushion. Levi’s cold hands slipped under my shirt and I shivered. His lips found the back of my neck and his teeth scraped against my vertebrae. I moaned. My cock twitched and pressed against the side of the couch.

“Is this position okay?” Levi murmured quietly as his finger slid up my neck and pushed into my mouth.

“Mm-hm,” I said with a nod as my tongue toyed with his fingers.

His other hand found my nipple and pinched it. I whimpered and shoved my hips back against his crotch. He grunted softly and pulled his wet fingers out of my mouth. He gave my nipple one last twist before grabbing the hem of my shorts and yanking them down. I groaned as my dick sprang free and bumped the side of the couch.

Levi fitted his first two fingers into my ass with ease. I moaned and rutted my hips back. My head was already spinning and I could feel precome beading on the tip of my cock. 

“L-Levi, please, hurry,” I moaned into the couch cushion.

Levi continued to open me up with his fingers, but he quickly fished out his wallet. He dropped it onto the couch in front of me.

“Get me a condom,” he said in a tight voice.

He curled his fingers and I whined loudly. I scrambled to pull out the requested object. When I’d found it, I held it out to him. He took it from me and ripped open the package with his teeth. His fingers slipped out of my hole and I whimpered in disappointment. 

“Don’t worry,” he purred as he unrolled the condom on his throbbing member. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

“Please,” I whined desperately.

The tip of his dick pressed against my pulsing entrance. I gasped and pressed my face into my arms. Levi didn’t bother easing in. He slammed inside of me with one thrust. I cried out and my back arched. His hands gripped my lower back, holding me down on the arm of the couch. I whined loudly and shifted my hips slightly so he was sheathed more comfortably. My breathing came in slow pants.

“Okay?” he asked quietly as his thumbs rubbed slow circles into my back.

I nodded, not trusting my voice to articulate anything intelligible. Levi pulled out and thrust back in. I cried out, but muffled the sound against my arms. Levi set a ruthless pace. We’d been doing it for long enough now that he knew just how hard he could fuck me without breaking me. All the same, he pushed the limit most of the time. He seemed to like it when I became a sobbing mess beneath him. I certainly didn’t complain. 

Levi’s fingers gripped my hair and he pulled my head back. I choked on a groan. Tears pricked my eyes and I twisted my head ever so slightly to look back at him. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were fixed on the place where his cock was burying inside of me.

“Wanna hear you,” he said through gritted teeth.

I mewed quietly. A sharp thrust slammed the head of his cock against my prostate. I cried out. Levi gasped quietly. The hand that wasn’t in my hair gripped my hip with bruising force.

“Levi, please, touch me,” I begged. His every thrust had rubbed the head of my cock against the side of the couch. It was throbbing painfully by now and I was only so close to coming even after such a short time.

“You’re going to come from getting fucked,” Levi murmured in my ear. He yanked my hips back.

I gasped as my chest slid along the arm of the couch. My arms gripped the furniture and I whimpered quietly. My toes curled as Levi continued to pound into me. He hit that place with every thrust. I moaned loudly with every exhale. 

“You’re so tight,” Levi said. “Fuck, you’re so hot. Eren.”

My entire body shuddered. A particularly hard thrust and I was climaxing. Cum spurted over my chest and dripped onto the floor. I gasped and shivered. 

“Ha, you came,” Levi gasped. His grip on me tightened. “Do you like taking my cock that much?”

“Levi,” I whimpered as the wake of my orgasm rolled over me, leaving my body feeling like jello, “I, I love you.”

Levi gasped. He came hard, pumping his seed into the condom. I cried out and rutted my hips back. Levi bent over me. He grabbed my chin and pulled my head around. His lips slotted against mine. I whined loudly. His tongue pressed against my lips and I opened my mouth. He had continued to thrust shallowly into me as he rode out his orgasm, but now his hips stilled. He pulled back from the kiss.

“I love you too, Eren,” he said quietly as a smile spread over his face.

I stared at that expression. It was so open and perfect. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes glimmered with the afterglow of his orgasm. There was no one in the world who saw this face except for me.

Levi kissed me gently on the forehead and pulled out. I groaned quietly. My knees buckled and sank to the floor. Levi chuckled quietly as he tied off the condom. He went into the kitchen and disposed of it. When he returned to the couch, he helped me up off the floor.

“Tired you out already?” he asked as he lifted me into his arms.

“It’s been a long day,” I mumbled as I coiled myself around him. Another thing that I loved about this last year is that Levi had started to let me spoon him at night. 

“You’re sweaty,” Levi said as he breathed in my scent. “Let’s take a shower.”

“‘M too tired to go again.” My voice was muffled slight since my face was pressed into the crook of his neck.

“No worries,” he said. “We have all the time in the world to try out shower sex.”

“I wanna live with you forever,” I said sleepily.

“Me too.”

“You wanna live forever with you too.”

“Brat,” he grumbled as he set me down carefully on the edge of the bathtub.

“Old man.”

He cupped my chin in his hands and tilted my head back. 

“I wanna live with you forever too,” he said and pressed his lips against mine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just say that i hate writing sappy stuff because i'm a bitter, jaded, loveless person lmao
> 
> Thank you SO SO SO much for all the lovely comments and the kudos on this fic. Y'all's kind words helped me keep writing and inspired me to make something that you would all enjoy. I've had so much fun writing this fic and I'm so glad so many people liked it!


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